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Posted by: Cervo Dec 13 2007, 14:31

This is a thread for stupid conversations you had with other community members, like making jokes or answering in a funny/stupid way. Remember to just write the few interesting lines and not huge logs!

Here are two entries:

Placebo and me
(Just a few minutes after England failing to qualify to Euro 2008)
Cervo:
Hey Paul, i'm sorry for your team.
Cervo:
Which team will you support ?
Cervo:
Are you there? Maybe you're pissed off ... ?

Then I got answer the day after:

Placebo: Hello. I'm not watching football games when they are in the middle of the night for me. And yes I might be highly pissed off if you would refer to the result of a football game I recorded and that I'm about to watch...

Cervo:

Jahve and me
Jahve : could you possibly restructure the arma.info menu? i had to look around for a bit before i found the forum button
Cervo [OFP.info] : you mean create a special page for visually deficient people ?

Posted by: Jahve Dec 13 2007, 14:36

Posted by: Rellikki Dec 13 2007, 15:45

Dave says:
I hate mornings
That's why I slept through it today!

Rellikki says:
yes, i hate mornings too
and im glad i did so too
otherwise it would have eaten me

Dave says:
I thought you didn't sleep?

Rellikki says:
yes
i don't sleep
that's why i didn't sleep
and im glad i don't
otherwise it would eat me

Dave says:
That makes bugger all sense

Rellikki says:
that's good

Posted by: D@V£ Dec 13 2007, 15:46

I know I'm going to feature in this thread a lot

Posted by: Rellikki Dec 13 2007, 15:55

Yees..

Rellikki says:

i shall shave my legs!

Dave says:

What are you? A horse?

Rellikki says:
no
im a skeleton!

Dave says:
A skeleton with hairy legs?

Rellikki says:
yes!
you've never seen under those gray pants
but maybe one day

Dave says:
No thank you

Rellikki says:
ok then

Posted by: Deadeye Dec 13 2007, 16:35

Deadeye :hi plane

Deadeye :how's it going? any turbulences?

Dave :Not yet! :-O
Deadeye :well than enjoy your flight
Deadeye :where are you heading?
Dave :....To the airport! :-O
Deadeye :wanna now a secret?
Dave k! :-O
Deadeye :I'm a spider !
Dave : :-O:-O:-O
Deadeye :In fact... I am Spiderman
Dave : I must tell everyone! :-O
Deadeye : you must STFU
Dave : or I'll eat you
Dave : :-O Spiders can't eat planes!
Deadeye : sure they can
Deadeye : I'll catch you in my giant net
Dave : ...Okay...
Deadeye : and then roll you in a cocoon till you are rusting
Deadeye : and then I'll have a nice meal
Dave : Perhaps. But I do see a small flaw on in your plan
Deadeye : tell it NOW !
Dave : A very small flaw
Dave : You see, while spider webbing is very strong, strong enough to support a weight of over 10x it's own
Dave : Most planes, are very heavy
Dave : And, very big too
Dave : So... if a plane flew into a spiders web
Dave : Then it'd be the plane taking the web, not the web taking the plane! :-O
Deadeye : I'm quite a massive spider... an my nets aren't finespun. They can take lots of weight
Deadeye : I once caught an B52 who was trying to get to Iraq.... I was hungry
Dave : Yes, but still. A massive spider is still tiny in comparison to even a small plane
Deadeye : I do have spider friends... they help me
Dave :Be that as it may, a Plane is still very big...
Dave :Besides! :-O If you do catch me you have to suck my insides out.
Dave :And that could be very dangerous, because...
Dave :I'm full of Snakes! :-O Snakes on a plane! :-O
Deadeye : Damn you ! that's not fair
Deadeye : fight like a real plane, not like a pussy plane
Dave :Fien! :@ *fires missiles*
Deadeye : catches missiles in the net and throws em back towards the plane
Dave : Spider webs are sticky! :-O
Dave : They would stick to the missiles! :-O
Deadeye :not for a psider
Dave : Yes, but Missiles aren't spiders
Dave :And while spiders are very strong
Deadeye :spiders and walk, eat and have sex on em... they are kind of used to these nets
Dave : Strong enough to lift over 50 times their own weight
Dave :Missiles are very heavy in comparison
Dave :And tend to explode
Deadeye :they won't hit the ground and your missiles aren't time triggered, you are an old airplane
Dave : OHSHIT! :-O
Dave :My Astronomy Lecturer is called Dr. Breen! :-O
Deadeye : to the shelter ???????
Dave :[hmm] No.
Dave :We must try and bargin with him to get cushy government jobs when the Aliens invade.
Deadeye : they won't invade anytime soon. talked to em just a few mins are ago...they are kinda busy invading the fugolationtes galaxy
Dave : Those bastards! :-O
Deadeye : they told me we still have to wait for at least 70 years
Dave : This isn't the first time they've stolen our Thunder you know?
Thunder? OMG? Hows Hulk Hogan doing? They took Thunder

Dave : You remeber that time the Daleks said they'd invade and they never showed up?
Dave : It's was those bloody fugolatates! They switched the signs!!!
Deadeye : yeah I also heard that the fugolatates are always looking for trouble. They are the GWB galaxy so....
Dave : GWB? ^o)
Dave : Gone with the blastwave?
Deadeye : Oh common you gotta know the GWB galaxy
Dave : Do I? :-O
Deadeye : sure
Dave : In that case, I'm just checking you know what it is
Deadeye : erm..... the erm.....Generally Wannabe Beaten galaxy :-/
Dave : never heard of it?
Deadeye : right beside the IDCS galaxy
Dave : IDCS!? :-O
Deadeye : aw common plane.... you can't be serious !
Dave : Quick! Deploy the matter/antimatter device!
Dave : We can destroy them both at once!
Deadeye : I don't care shit galaxy
Dave : (I meant IDCS! as in an exclaimation)
Deadeye :We could vbut we first need to get our new weapon running.....

Posted by: BigglesTrevor Dec 13 2007, 16:46

conversation me and deadeye had over the 'drive my car' website

Deadeye : hm I'll record my drive
Trevor : nice do it , go for the bike! lol
Deadeye : If I can find it ...
Trevor : its up the stair/ramp to the right
Deadeye : the carpet?
Trevor : no, its like up a ramp past a bunch of white things then right
Deadeye : I've seen him...full face , him=jay
Trevor : lol , whats he like
Deadeye : has a beard
Trevor : haha awsome
Deadeye : taliban style but not that long , black hair and glasses , I'd say a lil bit of overweight but not much
Trevor : haha cool, must be annoying being at wor k and having a bunch of kids keep driving a toy car into you
Deadeye : lol , Jay Charles: Im married... I have license to be fat
Trevor : lol

Posted by: Deadeye Dec 13 2007, 16:53

nearly ... but it took me ages to locate the bike We'll have to try again..but thi time using both cars at once !

http://www.jaycharles.net/drive

Posted by: D@V£ Dec 13 2007, 17:02

This thread is my curse!

Posted by: JdB Dec 13 2007, 17:47

Actually I agree with Jahve on the positioning of the forum link

Posted by: Rewan Dec 13 2007, 19:01

Rewan [Re-1]: so what are you going to do ?
Rellikki: im going to masturbate!!
Rewan [Re-1]: Ooooh a beautifull screen for forums
Rellikki: ok
Rellikki: it is nice to post screenshots on forums
Rellikki: and share things
Rewan [Re-1]: Rellikki joking ^^
Rellikki: share
Rellikki: in a communist way!

Posted by: da rat Dec 13 2007, 19:45

Note to self: Never talk on MSN again

Posted by: JynX Dec 13 2007, 21:39

Wise words, I dont anyway dunno why I have it tbh lol

Posted by: Cervo Dec 14 2007, 01:06

Today, a chat with Genby (our ex team member that was working intensively on our ofp.info Russian section with psyKKe)

Posted by: D@V£ Dec 19 2007, 14:26

A new one! Hurrah!

Posted by: BigglesTrevor Dec 22 2007, 01:58

the unicycle bit is quality

Posted by: JynX Dec 22 2007, 03:50

sounds very similar to my msn conversations with friends from highschool....worrying.

just a quote from work, context i'm standing chatting with some of the lads n lasses working at the bar in the area i've set my stuff up i'm sitting texting on my phone when their supervisor comes in.

Posted by: Rellikki Jan 3 2008, 11:25

Rellikki says:

lions ate a man in south-africa

Dave says:
That's not news
A saw an Elephant on TV that could paint pictures!

Rellikki says:
i saw a document of an elephant-mosquito
it could fly and it sucked blood with its nose

Dave says:
Well, I saw an Elephant that ate people and shitted money

Rellikki says:
i saw an elephant that ate money and shitted people

Dave says:
Dude
That was in Ace Ventura.
That was fictional

Rellikki says:
oh really?
what about if i am that elephant?

Dave says:
Then how the hell are you typing!?

Rellikki says:
the people who i shit help me
they are my slaves.

Dave says:
Makes sense...

Posted by: JynX Jan 3 2008, 23:12

and it so does...

Posted by: Rellikki Jan 5 2008, 17:32

...
Dave says:
How fëindish!

Rellimursu says:
how do you pronounce that?
ë

Dave says:
I believe it's pronounced like this:
"ë"

Rellimursu says:
interesting

Dave says:
Now you try

Rellimursu says:
ok...
ok, here it goes...
here it goes...
mmmmmmmm......
e!

Dave says:
No.
Like this
ë!

Rellimursu says:
é?

Dave says:
é by gum!

Rellimursu says:
è?

Dave says:
ë!

Rellimursu says:
ê?

Dave says:
Well, I guess that'll have to do

Rellimursu says:
k

Posted by: JdB Jan 5 2008, 17:36

Most of these conversations involve D@V£...God Chat Bot v2.0?

Posted by: D@V£ Jan 5 2008, 17:46

QUOTE(JdB @ Jan 5 2008, 16:36)

Most of these conversations involve D@V£...God Chat Bot v2.0?

Posted by: Daniel Jan 5 2008, 18:11

"é by gum"

Posted by: Zipper5 Jan 5 2008, 18:26

The Stupid/Funny community conversations or sentences thread, your one stop shop for every conversation D@VE related.

Posted by: D@V£ Jan 10 2008, 22:09

We're all a very angry bunch round here.

Dave says:
http://forum.armedassault.info/index.php?showtopic=60&st=920&#entry31296
Dave says:
ICP anims.
Dave says:
The last post.
Dave says:
How have people been making animations for ArmA?
Rellikki says:
i've got a better question
Rellikki says:
what animations?!?!?
Rellikki says:
i haven't seen the release
Rellikki says:
but yet people have been taking pictures using them
Dave says:
I DECLARE A STATE OF ANGER!
Rellikki says:

Dave says:

Posted by: Rellikki Jan 10 2008, 22:13

Rellikki says:
you are going to be alright, my friend!

Dave says:
'eh?
Whut?
I was watching TV

Rellikki says:
you've been shot!

Dave says:
Some git's left MSN on!
What's this?

Rellikki says:
you're bleeding!

Dave says:
Shot!?
No wonder I'm bleeding

Rellikki says:
but you're going to be alright!
just hold this active hand grenade for 5 seconds
meanwhile i will walk away

Dave says:
Ok

Rellikki says:
*walks away*

5 seconds later...

Rellikki says:
?
did it do the trick?

Dave says:
Yep!

Rellikki says:
good

Dave says:
By a bizzare incident of Quantum Mechanics the grenade instead released a large number of healing Nanites from the future

Rellikki says:
but now it's time to tell you...
i poisoned the hand grenade!

Dave says:
OHSHIT!
*dies*
Wait a second
People only die from poison after the person who poisons them tells them they've been poisoned
What if they weren't told?!
Would they live!?

Rellikki says:
i suppose so

Dave says:
What if you told someone they've been poisoned, when you hadn't poisoned them...
would they die?!

Rellikki says:
yes!
i'm pretty sure of that

Posted by: D@V£ Jan 10 2008, 22:17

I tried it on my Brother, but he's immune to poison... so now we'll never know!

Dave says:
I'm afraid I've got some bad news.
Dave says:
I poisoned you!
Jon says:
oh noes
Jon says:
yeh well i tryed poisoning me as well but it seems like we both failed

Posted by: NorwayTiger Jan 10 2008, 22:44

So Rellikki had to try it on me, only he failed

Posted by: JynX Jan 11 2008, 03:00

QUOTE(D@V£ @ Jan 10 2008, 21:17)

I tried it on my Brother, but he's immune to poison... so now we'll never know!
(Sad isn't it? I'm talking to him on MSN but he's only upstairs )

Posted by: Rellikki Jan 11 2008, 16:46

That's a funny one, JynX.

Posted by: JynX Jan 11 2008, 17:56

it went in a sort of circle, she asked why euan couldn't get it cos she was actually working unlike us

Posted by: D@V£ Jan 11 2008, 21:27

Posted by: Deadeye Jan 12 2008, 16:12

Should rename this thread? Maybe d@ve vs rellikki comunication thread? Keep em coming

Posted by: da rat Jan 12 2008, 16:50

You poisoned me! You bastard! I knew trusting you was a bad idea

Deadeye:
Poisoned?
Nath:
yeah
Nath:
its really bad
Deadeye:
no problem
Deadeye:
here's the antidote *hands over the antidote*
Nath:
*drinks*
Nath:
tastes like chicken
Nath:
i want a whiskey flavoured antidote!
Nath: (16:24):
*shakes fist*
Deadeye:
ah ok so "normal" stuff isn't good enough for mr. rat
Nath:
i shouldn't need to tell you that!
Nath:
you should already know
Deadeye:
ok then....here's another antidote *hands it over* Drink it !
Nath:
*drinks*
Nath:
this isnt whiskey at all
Nath:
but i am feeling better..
Nath:
more alcodote
Nath:
now!
Deadeye:
haha that wasn't antidote
Nath:

Nath:
what was it!?
Deadeye:
it's bull piss mixed with dave's poison
Nath:
i drink bull piss every day... and i'm immune to dave's poison since i've already beed exposed to it
Nath:
so hah!
Nath:
and now, to poison dave and tomi together
Nath:
*hatches evil plot*
Deadeye:
well seems you won.... *drinks poison* ...DIES
Nath:
prff, that's a stupid way to kill yourself!
Nath:
hari kari is the way to go
Nath:
here, like this *commits hari kari*
Nath:
oh no!
Deadeye:
Can't type I'm Dead !
Nath:
so am I

Posted by: Rellikki Jan 12 2008, 19:58

Rellikki says:
ah, mr. dave
i haven't been expecting you

Dave says:
It's a good stratagy to consider. I might not be coming!

Rellikki says:
yes, yes... you might not be coming
*blows up dave's car*

Dave says:
...
As I said to Deadeye on the matter of such
The jokes on you
I don't own a car

Rellikki says:
yes you do!
i sent you one yesterday
it was yours

Dave says:

My Car!

He was my only friend

Rellikki says:
now...
you will need to give me 10,000 pounds or i will destroy your helicopter
which i am about to send to you

Dave says:
Ok then
But I'll have to get £10,000 first
(psst! Tomi!)
(Can I borrow £10,000? This guy, he's going to blow up my helicopter if I don't get him the money!)

Rellikki says:
ok but you owe me a beer for that!
*gives*

Dave says:
Tah!
...
Oh dear
This £10,000
It appears to be very sick!
I must take it on a holiday to a special health spa in Greece

Rellikki says:

no.
*eats the money and the helicopter*

Dave says:
But...
There was a bomb on the helicopter, remeber?

Rellikki says:
oh...
my...
GOD!
im allergic to bombs!
it gives me pimples

Posted by: JynX Jan 13 2008, 04:01

you two are like a bad Kris wilson comic

Posted by: Rellikki Jan 13 2008, 17:59

Hmm... is that supposed to mean good or bad?
Stay tuned for more crazy conversations between me and Dave! We're having them like... all the time. I actually don't even know why...

Posted by: JynX Jan 13 2008, 20:32

example:

Posted by: D@V£ Jan 13 2008, 23:32

x-ray reveals all!

Dave says:
I was thinking, I'd make this comedy series about Torrez and Richardz and their combined misadventures!
I mean, those two pratically write themselves!

x-ray says:
i feel pretty
oh so pretty

Dave says:
But surely not witty and wise?!

x-ray says:
*sings*
and i pity every girl who isn't me toniiiiiight

Dave says:
I'm glad that there are girls who aren't you actually

x-ray says:

i feel stunning
oh so stunning

Dave says:
Yep, you're incredible lack of being the sort of person who should be singing this song has inflicted D6+2 stun damage on me.

x-ray says:
äh and entrancing

Dave says:
surely ENtrabanting?

x-ray says:
feel like running and dancing for jooooooooy
for i'm loved by a pretty wonderful boooooooy

Dave says:
That's scary.

x-ray says:
its gay, i'd say.

Dave says:
You should let him know your not into that sort of stuff.

x-ray says:
but what if i am?

Dave says:
...

x-ray says:
i love you dave!

Dave says:
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!

Posted by: da rat Jan 13 2008, 23:34

Lmao, you guys are hilarious

Posted by: x-ray Jan 13 2008, 23:35

but...but... i love him!

Posted by: Helping Hand Jan 13 2008, 23:37

Ever thought about doing comedy Dave?

Posted by: D@V£ Jan 13 2008, 23:38

Supplemental:

Posted by: x-ray Jan 13 2008, 23:40

I said "YOU'D be a wonderful wife" =P

Posted by: Helping Hand Jan 13 2008, 23:42

Who wants who's babies here

Posted by: D@V£ Jan 13 2008, 23:42

QUOTE(x-ray @ Jan 13 2008, 22:40)

Posted by: Rellikki Jan 25 2008, 15:09

Posted by: JynX Jan 25 2008, 15:55

aaaw Dave cannae hold is drink

Posted by: NeMeSiS Jan 25 2008, 17:28

Rellikki should listen less Korpiklaani, its unhealthy!

Posted by: D@V£ Jan 25 2008, 18:17

QUOTE(JynX @ Jan 25 2008, 14:55)

aaaw Dave cannae hold is drink

Posted by: JynX Jan 25 2008, 20:36

Bah excuses
I'd like to point out I'm also: 1/16th Irish ( ) and 1/16th French ( I couldnt find the white flag one )

Posted by: D@V£ Jan 25 2008, 22:23

QUOTE(JynX @ Jan 25 2008, 19:36)

Bah excuses
I'd like to point out I'm also: 1/16th Irish ( ) and 1/16th French ( I couldnt find the white flag one )

Posted by: Helping Hand Jan 25 2008, 22:49

Picts and Celts

Posted by: D@V£ Jan 25 2008, 23:00

QUOTE(Helping Hand @ Jan 25 2008, 21:49)

Picts and Celts

Posted by: Helping Hand Jan 25 2008, 23:03

There was a lot of water dividing the Irish and Romans at the time ^^ They built the wall to keep people like brataccas's ancestors out of England

Posted by: Deadeye Jan 25 2008, 23:40

Stupid/Funny community conversations or sentences or quotes anyone?

...

Posted by: D@V£ Jan 28 2008, 22:38

[JdB] +¤|John »†«|¤+ [???] says:
I noticed I have a report from pMASTER

Dave says:
I suggest you ignore it.
It'll show how great a moderator you are, that way Wittmann will never get rid of you and let me take your position!

Dave says:
Investigative purposes!?

[JdB] +¤|John »†«|¤+ [???] says:
the word exists according to my spell checker

Dave says:
From now on your name is SdB
S for Sherlock!
Because you're a great detective

[JdB] +¤|John »†«|¤+ [???] says:
thought it sounded smart

Dave says:
And Wittmann's new name is Wittson
Dr. Wittson

[JdB] +¤|John »†«|¤+ [???] says:
I find Twatson a better name ^^

Dave says:
I was thinking of posting this in the funny conversations thread...

Now I'm going to have to do it.

Posted by: JynX Jan 31 2008, 01:18

Important Biological studies being carried out by ArmA.info members!

Blackscorpy says:
"In the video game, Lara Croft is a 36DD. Angelina Jolie is naturally a 36C, and was padded to a 36D for the movie"

Mark says:
38 E would just be weirld lol.

Blackscorpy says:
Well DD = E depending on the definition

Mark says:
I've seen 34G and 32F in the flesh and they're big enough so I'd be scared by Crofts

Andrew says:
*is tempted to go round the girls in the flat and ask tit size*

Mark says:
Guesstimate easy enough

Andrew says:
meh, not as amusing

Mark says:
Just don't let em see you guesstimate

Posted by: D@V£ Jan 31 2008, 11:59

Markiarty strikes again!

Posted by: Helping Hand Jan 31 2008, 12:40

Hey it would be weird.. Enough to suffocate you.

Posted by: JynX Jan 31 2008, 12:58

I'd be happy to die like that, death by tits!

Posted by: Helping Hand Feb 1 2008, 21:39

Andrew - feck's sake says:
Type 97 in full pride: http://redwolfairsoft.com/redwolf/airsoft/ProductDetail?prodID=23244

Type 97 castrated : http://redwolfairsoft.com/redwolf/airsoft/ProductDetail?prodID=23957

Mark says:
I'll take the long one

Andrew - feck's sake says:
Ofc

Mark says:
Oh dear that came out wrong...

Andrew - feck's sake says:
Funny conversation thread when i get back from work!

Mark says:
I ended up talking to her mate today about toast

Andrew - feck's sake says:
How.....odd

Andrew - feck's sake says:
dare i ask, why toast?

Mark says:
The Industrial toaster in the refectory was playing up and the toast wasn't fully toasted. The lady on the till asked if I'd want it putting through again I said it didn't matter as long as it was warm. Got an chuckle, agreement and a smile from her mate and an amused look by her. Strange goings on before 9am I tells ya!

Posted by: Cervo Feb 4 2008, 21:34

Lord_Impaler (21:31) :
Cervo ?
Cervo [OFP.info] (21:31) :
yes?
Lord_Impaler (21:31) :
I have a wish....
Lord_Impaler (21:31) :
can you rename me at the forum ?
Cervo [OFP.info] (21:32) :
let me check at prices' grid
Cervo [OFP.info] (21:32) :
20 € for JdB !
Cervo [OFP.info] (21:33) :
that's the price
Lord_Impaler (21:33) :
ROFL, never saw any rules like this, can I check it ?
Lord_Impaler (21:33) :
but I guess that your not joking
Cervo [OFP.info] (21:42) :
done
Lord_Impaler (21:42) :
thank you Grand Master !
Cervo [OFP.info] (21:43) :
but you must now tell JdB that I exceptionally changed your name without making you pay, ok ?
Lord_Impaler (21:44) :
Ok sure!
Lord_Impaler (21:46) :
done

Posted by: Helping Hand Feb 4 2008, 21:35

Another name change for lee ?

Posted by: JynX Feb 4 2008, 22:06

The .info consortium are after him, he must remain as unknown as possible !

Posted by: D@V£ Feb 4 2008, 22:30

Whut?
There's a .info consortium!?
I must join this, then I will be able to say "The Consortiums"

Posted by: JynX Feb 5 2008, 02:01

Ah, See i thought they were one in the sa....I've said to much.

Posted by: Rellikki Feb 7 2008, 02:00

Dave says:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/education/7231388.stm

...f*ck...
I don't want to have to get exercise!

Rellikki says:
there is no choice.
pack your lunch pete.
we are going to france

Dave says:
I think you're the first person to have ever said "pack your lunch pete" on the internet
http://www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla%3Aen-GB%3Aofficial&hs=LOa&q=%22Pack+your+lunch+pete%22&btnG=Search&meta=

Posted by: Benoist Feb 7 2008, 03:08

Why Dave apears in an 80% of the conversations?

Posted by: JynX Feb 7 2008, 03:17

It's the D@V£ effect, hang around the Chatter thread and you'll see what I mean whenever he posts or just read one of his readmes.....

Posted by: JynX Feb 8 2008, 16:28

For every sperm cell a male produces that contains an x chromosome he must also produce another that contains a y chromome, if he didn't he wouldn't be a he.......and that wouldn't be on

Posted by: D@V£ Feb 8 2008, 18:48

A more perplexing question about that is how someone without a Y chromosome could be producing sperm...

Posted by: Benoist Feb 8 2008, 18:58

Of course, it would be something strange to see a woman producing sperm (and more odd when she has an orgasm ).

Posted by: Helping Hand Feb 8 2008, 19:15

Meh women can do that to an extent anyway just not semen.

Posted by: da rat Feb 9 2008, 00:23

lol MOVING ON eh

Posted by: D@V£ Feb 9 2008, 01:08

Posted by: JynX Feb 13 2008, 12:35

QUOTE(Deadeye @ Feb 13 2008, 10:05)

QUOTE

A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates.

You may visit the store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch: you may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.


On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs.
The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.
The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking.

"Wow,"she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads: Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework.

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor 3,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.


A new wives store opened across the street.

The first floor has wives that love sex.
The second floor has wives that love sex and have money.

The third through sixth floors have never been visited.

, is there a joke thread?

Posted by: BigglesTrevor Feb 13 2008, 16:22

here is a quick one,

Why did the Clam leave the Club?

It pulled a Muscle.

Posted by: Bence Feb 13 2008, 16:33

another quick one.

Winners don't use drugs. They sell them!

Posted by: JynX Feb 13 2008, 18:16

Glasgow one:

Posted by: Bence Feb 13 2008, 19:32

Ahh that hurts!

Posted by: Deadeye Feb 13 2008, 19:40

Posted by: BigglesTrevor Feb 13 2008, 20:57

whats big, has multi colored balls and if it fell out of a tree would kill you?

a snooker table

Posted by: Blackscorpion Feb 15 2008, 14:03

Posted by: Helping Hand Feb 15 2008, 15:28

What the hell went on last night??

Posted by: JynX Feb 15 2008, 15:45

Dunno, Scorpy got some?

Posted by: Blackscorpion Feb 15 2008, 15:47

...no.

6 drinks though, and bought Mark-knows-who one too, plus got her to taste (my) absinthe.

Posted by: Bence Feb 15 2008, 16:09

Seriously guys, how can drink Absinthe?
The worst alhocol ever, tastes like Petrol! :S

Posted by: JynX Feb 15 2008, 16:36

Got yah beat scorpy, once you get a girl to drink from worse than your dirty pint then you've got me beat

Ouzo tastes worse imo

Posted by: D@V£ Feb 15 2008, 17:47

QUOTE(Bence @ Feb 15 2008, 15:09)

Seriously guys, how can drink Absinthe?
The worst alhocol ever, tastes like Petrol! :S

Posted by: JdB Feb 16 2008, 14:12

QUOTE(D@V£ @ Feb 15 2008, 17:47)

Posted by: D@V£ Feb 16 2008, 15:32

QUOTE(JdB @ Feb 16 2008, 13:12)

Are you sure the Absinthe does that, and not the "manual labor"?

Posted by: x-ray Feb 16 2008, 15:58

Isn't that the movie where nearly everyone loses his/her eyes?

Posted by: D@V£ Feb 16 2008, 17:18

QUOTE(x-ray @ Feb 16 2008, 14:58)

Posted by: Helping Hand Feb 16 2008, 23:39

Was insight an unwanted pun?

Posted by: JynX Feb 17 2008, 03:59

I hope it was unintentional...if not my credibility for the title of "Worst sense of humour in relation to puns" is at risk...

Posted by: D@V£ Feb 19 2008, 22:35

Posted by: Benoist Feb 19 2008, 23:10

Dave our Lord

Posted by: da rat Feb 20 2008, 01:23

I'm still skeptical... What flavour?

Posted by: JynX Feb 20 2008, 01:39

Do we get paid by the hour if we are scientists and for purely theological reasons, why does the lollipop have a flavour?

my...odder side coming out:

Mark: http://images.google.com/images?um=1&hl=en&safe=off&q=vbs2&btnG=Search+Images 2nd row made me think of you

Andrew: if these are crashes yer dead

woop, molecules!

Mark:

Andrew: proteins even, mmmmmhm sweet alpha helical protein structure

Mark: I love it when you speak dirty

Posted by: Helping Hand Feb 20 2008, 12:03

I was in turn linked it from a greater being

Posted by: Blackscorpion Feb 20 2008, 21:29

QUOTE(JynX @ Feb 20 2008, 02:39)

Posted by: Helping Hand Feb 20 2008, 23:54

Tis true. Google DSO and see what happens when you try to find the medal

Posted by: da rat Feb 21 2008, 19:01

Love this one

Posted by: JynX Feb 22 2008, 14:28

Due to many failures in my planned line of work for later life by would be collegues (Dr. Evil, Emperor Ming, Darth Vader, The bond villians association, george w. bush etc etc) I, with others have compiled the new Evil Overlord's Rule of Thumb...

*********************************

IF I EVER BECOME AN EVIL OVERLORD:

1 My legions of terror will have helmets with clear
plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones.

2 My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.

3 My noble half-brother who throne I usurped will be killed, not kept
anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.

4 Shooting is not too good for my enemies.

5 The artefact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the
Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of
Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box.

6 I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.

7 When the rebel leader challenges me to fight one-to-one and asks, "Or
are you afraid without your armies to back you up?" My reply will be, "No,
just
sensible."

8 When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me,
will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot
him.

9 After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately
in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks time during
which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.

10 I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely
necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large button labelled
"Danger: Do Not Push".

11 I will not order my trusted lieutenant to kill the infant who is
destined to overthrow me -- I'll do it myself.

12 I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum -- a small hotel
well outside my borders will work just as well.

13 I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to
prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker
enemies alive to show they pose no threat.

14 I will not waste time making my enemies death look like an accident: I'm
not accountable to anyone and my other enemies wouldn't believe it.

15 I will make it clear that I do know the meaning of the word "mercy"; I
simply choose to show none.

16 One of my advisers will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in
my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.

17 All slain enemies will be cremated, not left for dead at the bottom of a
cliff. The announcement of their death, as well as any accompanying
celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal.

18 My undercover agents will not have tattoos identifying them as members
of my organisation, nor will they be required to wear military boots or
adhere
to any other dress codes.

19 The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any other
form of last request.

20 I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that
such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the
counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan in operation.

21 I will design all doomsday machines myself. If I must hire a mad
scientist to assist me, I will make sure that he is sufficiently twisted to
never regret his evil ways and seek to undo the damage he has caused.

22 I will never utter the sentence "But before I kill you there's just one
thing I want to know."

23 When I employ people as advisers, I will occasionally listen to their
advice.

Posted by: D@V£ Feb 22 2008, 15:06

QUOTE(JynX @ Feb 22 2008, 13:28)

Posted by: JynX Feb 22 2008, 17:13

To hide our true intentions

Posted by: GIJOE94 Feb 24 2008, 12:00

Here's a football joke. (No offence to any aston villa fans out there.)
A man walks into a bar and sits next to his mate. He says: "Evry time Blues score a goal, my dog jumps 10 feet into the air!" His friend reply's: "How high does he jump when aston villa score a goal?". The man with is dog says: " Hang on a second! I've only had him 10 years!"

Posted by: brataccas Feb 26 2008, 00:41

noone is normal on this forum

Posted by: JdB Feb 26 2008, 02:31

QUOTE(brataccas @ Feb 26 2008, 00:41)

noone is normal on this forum

Posted by: D@V£ Feb 29 2008, 15:00

Posted by: Rellikki Mar 1 2008, 16:43

Posted by: Linker Split Mar 2 2008, 21:25

I don't know if it is either funny or miserable, but it's surely worrying
Legend: Green is for the man who is not evil, red is for evil!

Linker Split wrote:
so mapping is more important than moderating?

[JdB] +¤|John »â€ «|¤+ [I44] wrote:
no, mapping is more important than protecting someone that always manages to get himself into trouble (referring to me)

Linker Split wrote:
so you are saying that I don't need protection John, do I?

[JdB] +¤|John »â€ «|¤+ [I44] wrote:
well, for a considerable donation...

Linker Split wrote:
how much?
(after ten seconds Linker Split realized)
so you are similar to Mafia?
(after ten seconds Linker Split realized again)
no wait, you are Mafia
gasp!

[JdB] +¤|John »â€ «|¤+ [I44] wrote:
haven't you ever noticed that the way we treat members is exactly like the mafia?

(while writing this reply to this topic, Linker Split says to John)
Linker Split wrote:
now you'll be on ArmA.info forum
Thanks for the info m8

Posted by: JynX Mar 2 2008, 22:14

Posted by: JdB Mar 3 2008, 23:27

Posted by: D@V£ Mar 4 2008, 00:20

And now presenting; The stuff JdB didn't want you to see!

Posted by: Helping Hand Mar 4 2008, 00:27

Bravo my little pet Welshman, bravo.

D@V£ 1 | JdB 0

Posted by: JynX Mar 4 2008, 01:06

I look away from this place for 2 secs and the welsh revolt...wow how do i miss this stuff!?

Posted by: Helping Hand Mar 4 2008, 08:27

Your not very active on MSN is how.

Posted by: JynX Mar 4 2008, 10:44

not my fault i sleep in till 10 am, miss my morning lectures go to the afternoon ones ain't back till 6 and then sit n talk to the flat mates till 11pm...

well maybe it is

Posted by: Rellikki Mar 4 2008, 22:03

Hmm, I didn't notice you killing me Dave?

Posted by: D@V£ Mar 4 2008, 22:47

QUOTE(Rellikki @ Mar 4 2008, 21:03)

Hmm, I didn't notice you killing me Dave?

Posted by: JdB Mar 5 2008, 00:31

Are you sure you didn't just eat the mushroom D@V£?

Posted by: D@V£ Mar 5 2008, 11:53

QUOTE(JdB @ Mar 4 2008, 23:31)

Are you sure you didn't just eat the mushroom D@V£?

Posted by: Rellikki Mar 5 2008, 23:14

Dave says:
Tell me Rellikki, why is it I always find myself surrouned by people called Jon!?

Rellikki says:
because we-... they want you to join them

Dave says:
Fair enough.
*murders everyone named John*

Rellikki says:

noooo!
*dies*
watch out, the eternity is also named john!

Dave says:
Time is non-linear. So I couldn't give a shit about enternity

Rellikki says:
your mom was named john!

Dave says:
No She wasn't!

Rellikki says:
yes she was!
and your dad too!
and your dog

Dave says:
My Dad's name is Harry
Why is it you think all tehse people are named John!?

Rellikki says:
because they are surrounding you

Dave says:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

Posted by: SaS TrooP Mar 6 2008, 16:19

LoL myahahahahaha.

U are using messenger?

Posted by: Helping Hand Mar 6 2008, 16:42

MSN

Posted by: SaS TrooP Mar 6 2008, 16:57

In fact, what is needed for MSN, cause its nice to finally keep contack with someboty form other country another way than Skype

Posted by: Helping Hand Mar 6 2008, 17:04

Click http://im.live.com/Messenger/IM/Join/.

Posted by: JynX Mar 7 2008, 05:52

Andrew: Rach wasn' pleased 'bout me putting our little cow comment on a more international quote book
Archie: Cow? *checks quote book*
Andrew: Not that one you dolt, I've not been there since I re-setup my Bebo account.
Archie: You've been cheating on the quote book!

Archie: I want food, but I can't be bothered getting dressed and going to the Co-op, It's a horrible black hole.
Andrew: Yes, Edinburgh is that, is it not ?
Archie: You speak of your capital, the pinacle of culture, the cutting edge of research, the jewel of Scotland!
Or as I call it "Little London".
Andrew: not saying much really is it
Archie: Not really. It's a bit grubby.
Andrew: yeah, get dusting!

Posted by: D@V£ Mar 7 2008, 12:13

Posted by: JynX Mar 9 2008, 15:41

This is following Scorpy, Mark and I's discussion of Miss Crofts assets:

Posted by: JynX Mar 15 2008, 06:28

Myself and a mate from highschool discussing another guy from high school's facial hair....

Andrew: The one with the horny phalus bellow his bottom lip if we go for your revised version, which is probably apt for his personality
Archie: There we go. That makes sense. David's chin is a horny phallus, and it apparently has taken over his brain!
Andrew: nay, it is his brain, before he grew his facial hair he had yet to develop one, his phenotype is different to normal humans in that neural tissues only develop externally and in the shape of a horny phallus made of brambles sadly focused more so on sex than most males
Archie: Woah, ok, WAY too complicated a sentence for me to understand
Andrew: Fine, I'll simplfy it:
your idea: facial hair is evil monster taking over his brain shave it off cure the problem
mine: it is his brain and we'd be doing him a favour by removing it via shaving.
ultimate summary: he needs to shave
Archie:Shaving was what I was aiming for
Andrew: with what though i'm thinking machete or chainsaw, though a scythe would look cooler...
Archie: Katana has always been my weapon of choice
Andrew: stuff shaving, kill it with fire! get me my napalm
Archie: Napalm won't work, man. You need Holy Flames.
Andrew: ah ha! I get mine from the Evangelical arms corp!
Archie: I just hold a bottle under the Pope's crapper after he's had a Curry.
Andrew: that would be more holy shit not holy fire tbh
Archie: Yeah, but stick a wad of toilet paper soaked in holy water and light it? You basically get a Holy Fire Cocktail. The Benedict Special.
Andrew: Bah, you and your revolutionary weaponry
Archie: Seriously, I've heard that if you used one on America, it would sink.
Andrew:

Posted by: Helping Hand Mar 16 2008, 00:39

Mark says:
Acg

Dave says:
'eh?

Mark says:
Ach*

Dave says:
Ah.

Mark says:
Aye?

Dave says:
Aye.

Mark says:
'eh?

Dave says:
Aye.

Mark says:
Och aye

Dave says:
Why aye man.

Mark says:
Aye aye skipper!

Dave says:
Aye Cap'n.

Mark says:
Sir iceberg sighted off the port bow!

Dave says:
Fire Torpedoes!

Mark says:
Aye Cap'n

Mark says:
thats going to .info thread

Dave says:
Not if I can help it :

Dave says:
Wait, you post it

Posted by: Deadeye Mar 16 2008, 00:42

Sounds like typical conversation between me and x-ray (only in german)

Posted by: Helping Hand Mar 16 2008, 00:43

I blame those things that have boobs for it. Bad influence

Posted by: Deadeye Mar 16 2008, 00:48

QUOTE(Helping Hand @ Mar 16 2008, 00:43)

I blame those things that have boobs for it. Bad influence

Posted by: Helping Hand Mar 16 2008, 00:50

*Gouges eyes out* Yes (the ones I know at least) are bad influences especially the one I have my eye on *glares down the street* But back to the world of funny conversations.

I smell burning ozone btw...

Posted by: JynX Mar 16 2008, 04:56

No Mark, your just thinking to much...

Posted by: Gunslinger Mar 19 2008, 02:55

Bob is driving too fast down the highway when he is pulled over, by a motorcycle officer.

Officer: Why are you driving so fast? sir.

Bob: well i have a hand gun in my under my seat and my dead wife is in the trunk.

Officer: Ok can i have you step out of the car.

the Officer hand cuffs bob and calls for backup.

Backup: what the problem?

Officer: this man has a gun under his seat and his wife is in the trunk.

the Officer and Backup search and find nothing they go to talk to bob.

Backup: what is the meaning of this. the officer says you had a gun in your car and a body in your trunk.

Bob: ya next he'll try in tell you i was speeding.

Posted by: BigglesTrevor Mar 21 2008, 11:45

Posted by: JdB Mar 25 2008, 02:55

JdB: I am like Draculla, I am most active at night
Cervo: lol
Cervo: so you suck people ?
JdB: that's going right onto the forums!
Cervo: lol
JdB: because I know you didn't mean sucking blood from the neck

Posted by: Benoist Mar 25 2008, 03:28

Do you?

Posted by: Deadeye Mar 25 2008, 11:33

That is unambiguous ambiguous !

Posted by: Gunslinger Mar 26 2008, 02:21

are mildly dirty jokes allowed?

Posted by: JynX Mar 26 2008, 03:52

So long as it sticks to the Forum Rules then I don't see why not...read the first post more closely

Posted by: D@V£ Mar 26 2008, 14:41

I just had a rather Epic Conversation, the likes of which this thread cannot afford to be present without!

Dave says:
Lettuce!

Ryan says:
barbecue!

Dave says:
Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese!

Ryan says:
the lettuce!

Ryan says:
and the cheese!

Dave says:
VERY WELL!

Ryan says:
http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=dTZPbgBSJSM

Dave says:
Har har!
I saw that when it was on TV

Ryan says:
i saw it on TV, and on youtube! har har!

Dave says:
Well, I've seen the one with the Robin Relent Shuttle

Ryan says:
i had 6,000 cups of coffee today, so hopefully i can have an early night

Dave says:
heh

Ryan says:
AWAY!

Dave says:
Heh, exploding car

Ryan says:
i have returned!

Dave says:
Very Good.
Let us have a game of ArmA!

Ryan says:


Dave says:
DAMN!
I meant to say "Lettuce have a game of ArmA!"

Ryan says:
garlic bread have a game of arma!

Ryan says:
then what mission

Dave says:
Quarintine?

Ryan says:
don't think i have it, and it'll probably have to be a small mission!

Ryan says:
(i'm actually tired for once)

Dave says:
Then drink Coffee!

Ryan says:
i did!

Ryan says:
i told you - 6,000 cups!

Dave says:
DRINK MOAR!

Dave says:
MOAAR!

Ryan says:
that'll make me more tired

Dave says:
Now, I have "persueded" wittmann to join
And I can probabley get Jahve to come along too

Ryan says:
cool. back what map

Ryan says:
invite him to this convo damnit!

Dave says:
Ok!

[colour=green]
Wittmann has been added to the conversation.
[/colour]

Dave says:
Wittmanns!

Ryan says:
dan?

Dave says:
(You have to put a camel in it, or else he won't play)

Ryan says:

QUOTE

Dave says:
Now, I have "persueded" wittmann to join
And I can probabley get Jahve to come along too

Ryan says:
like that

Dave says:
Yes. Just like that.

Ryan says:
what map

Wittmann says:
...I have no idea what Im supposed to be playing nor do I recall agreeing to anything

Ryan says:
i have no part in this!

Dave says:
You did agree to it!

Wittmann says:
I know. Its the nefarious Welshman

Ryan says:
and online stalker

Dave says:
You said:

QUOTE

Dave says:
Ok then, we'll comprimise
We play Quarintine, but I'll have Ryan mod you in a Sopworth Camel
Wittmann says:
:lol:

Wittmann says:
...you know he stalks me? Wow, he has a rep

Ryan says:
*stops typing*

Ryan says:
say something dave!

Dave says:
Don't listen to him!
He's a direct descendant of Rasputin!

Ryan says:
but he likes bacon!

Ryan says:
and i do too!

Dave says:
I like Bacon Moar!

Ryan says:
no!

Ryan says:
i like garlic bread

Dave says:
Look into yourself, you know it to be true!

Wittmann says:
Mmm bacon

Wittmann says:
Rasputin? I hate christianity and Im Polish

Wittmann says:
WELSH LIES

Ryan says:
you eat your bacon uncooked!

Dave says:
Damn!
The truth is out!

Ryan says:
little does he know i am speaking of myself

Dave says:
Anyways, for the sake of this exercise let's just assume that everyone agreed to play

Ryan says:
whoops

Ryan says:
play? who said anything about play

Dave says:
You agreed to it, remeber?

Ryan says:
eh, sorry

Dave says:
Very Well!

Ryan says:
use science!

Wittmann says:
But....study....essay....work tomorrow......ArmA not high on 'list of things Id rather have than cancer of the colon

Dave says:
Work!?
All work and no play makes Wittmann a very cancerous persons!

Wittmann says:
with an ANU degree therefore making me better than you

Ryan says:
did you pass 3rd grade grammer

Dave says:
I'll have a degree soon enough...

Ryan says:
with "A" ANU degree

Dave says:
And it'll be a Science degree
Which makes it better than... what are you doing anyway?

Ryan says:
:cool:

Ryan says:
i just want to be a part of this argument!

Dave says:
I just need to distract you two while I raid your collective fridges

Wittmann says:
But he is Welsh! He has to be uneducated! And speak in a funny manner!

Dave says:
What are you studying Wittmann!
It'd better not be something like Economics or Business

Wittmann says:
Nope. BA in International Relations

Dave says:
Wittmann, super spy?

Wittmann says:
Which means I can also be an elitist f*ck and pretentious because I have a fancy sounding degree that really involves turning up...sometimes, to uni

Wittmann says:
Its a good racket We dont actually do much and gets a fancy degree thingy and govt jobs that pay well!

Dave says:
Rocket!?

Wittmann says:
But your stuck in Canberra with politicains then as pennance. And no, we fired all the rockets at the other good rackets

Wittmann says:
politicians* grah, speel gud yesh

Dave says:
Government Job... or... Cushy Government Job?

Wittmann says:
Public service is always cushy. Lots of money for doing nothing

Dave says:
http://www.flashpoint1985.com/cgi-bin/ikonboard311/ikonboard.cgi?;act=ST;f=67;t=72291
What about something like this then?

Ryan says:
no!

Wittmann says:
Only if I can speak like 'Shean Connery. Shhhuper Shhpy'

Dave says:
Fair enough!

Ryan says:
:lol:

Dave says:
But we need more people...

Ryan says:
it's a terrible mission

Dave says:
It is?
I've never tried it, but it does sound fun...

Ryan says:
sure, when you have to find 1 person across the whole of sahrani!

Ryan says:
boring

Dave says:
Good point...

Ryan says:
did you need 1.09 to install 1.11

Dave says:
Nope

Dave says:
You need to remove 1.09 before installing 1.11 though

Ryan says:
anyone like the xfiles

Ryan says:
mp mission here of it

Dave says:
Sounds like a Plan

Ryan says:


Dave says:
Urm... wasn't what I said a good thing?

Ryan says:
hurt my feelings!

Dave says:
Whüt?!

Ryan says:
bully

Dave says:
What's happening!?
I agreed with you!

Ryan says:
i wasn't talking to you!


The.D was added to this conversation. Handwriting is no longer supported because not all participants can view handwritten messages. Handwritten messages will be sent as text.


Ryan says:
this should be ur display pic, dave
http://www.armedassault.info/ftp/pics/addons/RichardezQG1.jpg

Dave says:
VERY WELL!

Ryan says:
looks like you

Dave says:
I always thought Torrez looked more like me, but what the hell

Ryan says:
never!

Dave says:
'kay

Ryan says:
NEVER!

Dave says:
'KAY!

Dave says:
Gold plated sunglasses!

Dave says:
Then, wherever I look I shall see riches

Ryan says:
what if it's only gold on the outside!

Dave says:
Then it wouldn't really be completely gold plated, would it?

Ryan says:
put it on backwards!

Dave says:
Wait, the gold would still be opaque, so it wouldn't matter.

Ryan says:
but all glasses are transparent!

Ryan says:
it wouldn't be glasses if it wasn't transparant

Dave says:
Not if they're gold!

Ryan says:
transparant gold

Dave says:
Not Gold as in the colour, but Gold as in the element

Ryan says:
shoot!

Dave says:
'kay
*shoots*

Ryan says:
gold borders!

Ryan says:
frame

Dave says:
No no no, I want the glass Gold plated

Dave says:
I want the whole thing dipped in molten gold!

Ryan says:
then it would melt!

Ryan says:
it wouldn't be glasses then would it

Ryan says:
science!

Dave says:
Gold doesn't have that high a melting tempreture, I'm sure, I think it's lower than plastic

Ryan says:
exactly!

Dave says:
So the plastic wouldn't melt, and when it came out the gold would solidify, given me gold plated sunglasses!

Ryan says:
you smell!

Ryan says:
i'm pretty sure gold has a higher melting temp than plastic

Dave says:
Proper Gold has a very low melting tempreture

Ryan says:
very well!

Ryan says:
google time

Dave says:
1337K!

Dave says:
Gold is 1337

Ryan says:
1064.18 °C

Dave says:
1337K

Ryan says:
i am 1337!

Dave says:
Not as 1337 as gold!

Ryan says:
no

Ryan says:
i am 7331

Dave says:
teel?

Dave says:
As in, the colour Teal?

Ryan says:
no

Ryan says:
i have no idea

Dave says:
As in the time 73:31?
Which would be in about 4 days time?

Dave says:
Just over 3 days I think, I can't be bothered with the maths

Ryan says:
3 days and 1 hr and 31mins

Ryan says:
maths!

Dave says:
Anyways, if my glasses were already silver then I could easily gold plate them

Ryan says:
but not the glass!

The.D says:
good lord

The.D says:
what's going on here

Dave says:
We're discussing how I'm going to get gold plated glasses

Ryan says:
it's impossible!

Dave says:
It is not!

Dave says:
What about Electrosis?

Ryan says:
if you want gold for the glass, then it wouldn't be transparant, thus not being glasses!

Ryan says:
(unless you had a tiny camera on it)

Dave says:

Look here, if they're glasses underneath, and gold on top, then they're gold plated glasses. The whole point is a can't see out so I see riches everywhere!

Ryan says:


Dave says:
(What's wittmann doing? He seems to have gone quiet all of a sudden...)

Ryan says:
then it isnt glasses!

Dave says:
Yes it is!

Ryan says:
you cant see out of it!

Dave says:
That's not a requirement of Glass!

Ryan says:
it is!

Dave says:
You can't see out of stained glass glasses, can you?

Ryan says:
you can!

Dave says:
You can't see out of inverse one way glasses!

The.D says:
hm is tim here for decorative purposes

The.D says:
or is he trying to convert us?

Ryan says:
glasses are for vision correction!

Dave says:
Tim?

Dave says:
Who's Tim?

The.D says:
tim, the enchanter

Dave says:
Sunglasses aren't for vision correction! That's what we're talking about anyway!
I don't wear glasses!

The.D says:
lord above, my ass

Dave says:
And if I did, I'd wear contact lenses!
And they'd be gold plated!

The.D says:
war below

Ryan says:
then you can't see out of it!

Ryan says:
removing a glasses purpose - to correct vision!

Dave says:
But they'd be gold plated!

Ryan says:
but they wont be glasses!

The.D says:
dave, can you sign add ons?

Dave says:
Not yet.

The.D says:
aw

Dave says:
But I could lürn!

The.D says:
lürn

The.D says:
well

Ryan says:
dave is a christian!

Dave says:
No I'm not!

The.D says:
doesnt work for me as i cant install da programizzle on this shizzle

Ryan says:
you are!

The.D says:
no, dave is too intelligent

Dave says:
No I'm not, and Wittmann is a Catholic, so nyah!

Posted by: Deadeye Mar 26 2008, 14:45

Wow i wasted 3 minutes of my life to read through this .....stuff!

Posted by: Helping Hand Mar 26 2008, 14:57

Ditto. Uselessness from Dave once again.

Posted by: JynX Mar 26 2008, 14:59

Dear god...I don't quite understand how the universe can support such randomness...and cast doubts upon the idea that the universe can become further disordered...

Posted by: pMASTER Mar 26 2008, 15:13

How dare you? He's is providing an insight into the abysses of the human soul to us!

Posted by: JynX Mar 26 2008, 17:55

did i say once that it was a bad thing?

Posted by: D@V£ Mar 26 2008, 18:17

QUOTE(Helping Hand @ Mar 26 2008, 13:57)

Posted by: Helping Hand Mar 26 2008, 19:18

Because it's 1337K?

Posted by: D@V£ Mar 26 2008, 19:52

QUOTE(Helping Hand @ Mar 26 2008, 18:18)

Posted by: Rellikki Mar 26 2008, 20:15

Dave says:
Vote for me as King of the Moon!

Rellikki says:
no
monarchy is from ass
*slap*

Dave says:
Ah yes, but this is no normal monarchey!
This is Moon-Monarchy!

Rellikki says:

why not president?

Dave says:
Who wants to be Moon-President?!
All you do in that job is sit on a chair while the Moon-Senate throw Moon-Potatos at you!

Rellikki says:
unless you're a dictator

Dave says:
Yes, well, that's why I'm running for Moon-King!

Rellikki says:
how about queen?
or princess?

Dave says:

Because the Moon-Queen is dead. I killed her.

Rellikki says:
prince?

Dave says:

Moon-Prince? Do you have any idea how ridiculious that sounds?

Rellikki says:
governor?

Dave says:
I can't be Moon-Governer!
you're Moon-governer

Rellikki says:
i quit!

Dave says:
You can't quit!
YOU'RE FIRED!

Rellikki says:
fire this
*drops his pants*

Dave says:
NO!
Don't do it!

Rellikki says:
*fart*

Dave says:
*Fire*

Rellikki says:

AAAAHHH MY ASS IS ON FIRE

Dave says:
Well, you did ask for it...

Posted by: pMASTER Mar 26 2008, 20:15

QUOTE(JynX @ Mar 26 2008, 17:55)

Posted by: D@V£ Mar 26 2008, 20:34

Dave says:
I will be King of the Moon!
And there's nothing you can do to stop me!
Jahve says:
as long as i can be financial minister of the moon
Dave says:
DEAL!

Posted by: pMASTER Mar 26 2008, 20:42

Jahve sagt (20:53):
I knew you would ask this
Jahve sagt (20:54):
Wich is why i devised a cunning answer
Andi sagt (20:54):
So what?
rellikki@kotinet.com sagt (20:54):
IM SORRY but i must go and masturbate
rellikki@kotinet.com has left the chat.
Jahve sagt (20:54):
let me just bring it out from under my robe, i wrote it down
Andi sagt (20:54):
What the heck?!
Dave sagt (20:54):

Jahve sagt (20:54):
heck the what
Dave sagt (20:54):
f*ck the f*ck?!
Andi sagt (20:54):
This must be put into the forums.
Dave sagt (20:54):
Yes. It must.

Posted by: D@V£ Mar 26 2008, 21:25

pMaster says:
Oh, hold your horses!

Dave says:
*slap*
No beastiality

pMaster says:
Bastard!

Posted by: pMASTER Mar 26 2008, 21:26

Richard Widmark is dead!

Posted by: pMASTER Mar 29 2008, 14:44

Andi sagte:
You should be awarded the nobel prize.
Dave sagte:
Yes. I should Give me your nobel prize.
Andi sagte:
How bad that I don't own one.
Andi sagte:
My genius has always been ignored with outstanding success.
Dave sagte:
Look, didn't I say help me find this picture or shut up?
Andi sagte:
Look, I shall force you to go offline to be left alone for your arrogance!
Andi sagte:
Nyanyanya!
Dave sagte:
You shall do no such thing!
Andi sagte:
I will, oh yes I will. You show a distinctive lack of manners.
Andi sagte:

Dave sagte:
I don't need manners!
I'm Moon-King of the Moon!
Andi sagte:
Attaboy!
Dave sagte:
To hell with this!
I'm going offline by my own accord

Posted by: Jahve Mar 29 2008, 14:47

Posted by: D@V£ Mar 29 2008, 22:01

'tis true. We have the same birthday too.

(On a side note, neither of them managed to get me that picture! )

Posted by: Helping Hand Mar 29 2008, 23:30

Neither I take it means me as well. I said go look at dA...

Posted by: JynX Mar 30 2008, 04:25

Please don't tell me we've got those on dA now...

Posted by: D@V£ Apr 1 2008, 14:56

Dave says:
You will help test zombie mission online, yes?
Nath says:
when tovarisch komeraad?!
Nath says:
for I am working right now
Dave says:

Dave says:
Who works on April Fools day?
Nath says:
why, fools of course!
Dave says:
Historically April Fools Day was the day Jesters didn't have to work
Nath says:
well then you learn something new every day I guess
Dave says:
Yes. Now, the thing we shall learn, is that you don't have to take all your clothes off before you sign into MSN
Nath says:
you dont!?
Nath says:
f*ck

Posted by: Helping Hand Apr 1 2008, 16:59

Wait what do you two get up to with webcams? *shudders and induces amnesia via bright light*

Posted by: Benoist Apr 3 2008, 03:00

Strange conversations that I have (translated):

Posted by: Lordwatson Apr 3 2008, 13:33

Did you ever get ANYONE to test that mission Dave?

Posted by: D@V£ Apr 3 2008, 14:22

QUOTE(Lordwatson @ Apr 3 2008, 13:33)

Did you ever get ANYONE to test that mission Dave?

Posted by: Helping Hand Apr 3 2008, 14:25

Yes. Me and Zipper 5...

Posted by: da rat Apr 3 2008, 17:00

I was working, but not at work

Posted by: Rellikki Apr 7 2008, 22:37

Rellikki said:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Xp-DL6t4G4
sherlockbot!

Dave said:
*Solves the mystery of Rellikki*

Rellikki said:
no
my mysteries shall remain unsolved.
*suicide*

Dave said:
Aha!
A clue!
Why isn't IE working anymore

Rellikki said:
because IE isn't supported.

Dave said:
Oh.

Hey, I thought you were dead!
This is clearly a clue!

Rellikki said:
a clue?
more like...
GLUE
*glues dave's mouth*

Dave said:
Mmmh!
Mmmh-mmh! mm mimmmet mmlmmmr mmmm'm mmt mm mmm-mm-mm!

Rellikki said:
i don't believe it.

Dave said:
Mm Mrue!
*unglues mouth*
And now I can get IE on t'internet again!

Rellikki said:
internet this
*glues IE*

Dave said:
Now why did you have to do that?
Now I have to destroy you

Rellikki said:
destroy this
*shows himself*

NO!

Dave said:
*destroys*

Rellikki said:
noooooo! i hadn't finished my breeeeaaaaad!!!

Dave said:
It's my Bread Now

Rellikki said:
bread?
more like...
A THREAT!
*bread explodes*

Dave said:
Argh!
I'd just eaten that!
*explodes*

Posted by: Helping Hand Apr 9 2008, 20:50

Oh My...

Dave says:
I'm omnidexterious

Mark says:
You can use your penis and feet to write?

Dave says:
Yes

Posted by: pMASTER Apr 9 2008, 20:58

OMG.

Posted by: da rat Apr 9 2008, 23:03

I thought everyone could...?

Posted by: D@V£ Apr 9 2008, 23:34

QUOTE(da rat @ Apr 9 2008, 23:03)

Posted by: Helping Hand Apr 13 2008, 19:18

Posted by: D@V£ Apr 13 2008, 19:22

I doubt that!

Posted by: Helping Hand Apr 13 2008, 19:40

Touché!

Posted by: JynX Apr 14 2008, 18:15

Scorpy has a revelation...

Posted by: Blackscorpion Apr 14 2008, 18:23

They almost pay you to go to university, you need explaining!

Posted by: D@V£ Apr 15 2008, 23:12

The Search is On!

Dave says:
Sarah Conner?
Rellikki says:
NOOOO

Posted by: Rellikki Apr 16 2008, 00:18

NOOOO

Posted by: JynX Apr 16 2008, 00:22

Death

Posted by: da rat Apr 16 2008, 00:24

Yuhees?

Posted by: GIJOE94 Apr 20 2008, 14:59

A realy dumb Irish man walkes into a car showroom. He points to a new jaguar and asks the manager: "How much is this car?" The manager replies "$15,000 sir." the appaled Irish man says "How much?! I've only got $75. Haven't you got a car worth that much?" the manager says "Actualy we have, but there's one problem. It has no doors." the Irish mann replies "How stupid! How am I suposed to get in?!"

Posted by: JynX Apr 21 2008, 00:40

Never let your mates introduce you to people...

Posted by: Rellikki Apr 23 2008, 18:56

Posted by: Ryan_D Apr 23 2008, 19:03

Liar! This is the real one.

Posted by: Blackscorpion Apr 28 2008, 23:41

Posted by: JynX Apr 29 2008, 14:43

Bah, as I said, 1am 3 coffees per hour since 10pm, whilst revising genetics probabability problems, where whales reproduce is not my first priority

also if you weren't aware...http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monotreme is an egg laying mammal, namely: Platypuses and Echidnas

Posted by: Blackscorpion Apr 29 2008, 16:20

I know the weird Aussie (or New Zealand... can't open the link) animal that lays eggs... but that's pretty much the only one AFAIK...

Posted by: JynX Apr 29 2008, 20:22

Echidna's also do and there are five living species of mamal that lay egg so there!

Posted by: JynX Apr 30 2008, 13:54

Mark says: Oh what a wonderous day

Andrew/Andy says: O Rly?

Mark says: Ya rly

Andrew/Andy says: No Wai?!

Mark says: Ya Wai!

Andrew/Andy says: Srsly?

Mark says: Srsly indiid

Andrew/Andy says:

Posted by: Blackscorpion May 6 2008, 14:28

Blackscorpy sanoo (16:20):
you on laptop?
JynX sanoo (16:22):
hmm
JynX sanoo (16:24):
yup
Blackscorpy sanoo (16:25):
that took a while to figure out

Posted by: Helping Hand May 6 2008, 15:10

I think maybe he took it literally and sat on it

Posted by: JynX May 6 2008, 19:38

I think he was doing something more important at the time than talking on MSN, I could be wrong though

Posted by: da rat May 7 2008, 18:06

Posted by: D@V£ May 8 2008, 18:23

This thread is dying! It cannot be!

Ok, so here's a joke;

Posted by: Rellikki May 9 2008, 23:28

Posted by: JynX May 10 2008, 02:46

I once defended the notion of the possibility of sane life in these forums...

Posted by: Blackscorpion May 15 2008, 21:24

Posted by: Helping Hand May 15 2008, 23:12

/ What the Heckler and Koch?

Posted by: D@V£ May 15 2008, 23:45

I call PM necromancy.

Posted by: Deadeye May 16 2008, 15:24

The first PM I ever received was from brataccas

Posted by: JdB May 16 2008, 16:31

QUOTE(Deadeye @ May 16 2008, 16:24)

The first PM I ever received was from brataccas

Posted by: Blackscorpion May 16 2008, 18:17

Oldest BIS one dates back to 2005... I'm guessing that the oldest PMs I'd have would be from now-deceased Il2Skins and my first HGs forum account.

Posted by: JynX May 16 2008, 19:02

If we're reminising about oldest PM's mine'd be the archives department or personell department CO of http://www.nrnr.org complimenting some work i'd done the previous week. Did more work as a recruit than as a comissioned officer there

Posted by: JdB May 18 2008, 00:38

Deadeye: you know what ucks the most...I need to build a stuate till monday... (lost a bet)
JdB: stuate???
Deadeye: *statue
JdB: made of what?
Deadeye: wood
JdB: ...right
Deadeye: remeind me to upload pics !
Deadeye: I'll buold it now !
JdB: while drunk? that doesn't sound like a good idea...
Deadeye: It does indeed!
Deadeye: and if one line of this conversation ends in the qoute thrad you get Pred for 72 hours !
Deadeye: (is it worth it?)
JdB: not yet, not shocking enough
JdB: if I quote you, it will be something that ruins your reputation for ever, so the PR won't matter
Deadeye: if I'd get more shocking I'd have to lie
JdB: oh, rather disappointing
JdB: well, I could of course falsely quote that the statue needs to be a representation of your own wiener, but that you couldn't find a block of wood smaller than 3cm
Deadeye: 48 PR
JdB: meh, I won't settle for anything less than 72

Posted by: D@V£ May 18 2008, 00:40

Drunken Admins! What fun!

Dave says:
I can give you my Home Phone, but you won't be able to call me on it until I get back from university
But first, first you must do me a favour... yes?

deadeye5@gmx.de (E-mail address not verified) says:
what

Dave says:
IP Ban a list of people who I feel the community would be better off without

deadeye5@gmx.de (E-mail address not verified) says:
no can't do that

Dave says:
What if I took JdB off the list?

Posted by: Deadeye May 18 2008, 01:17

Deadeye has never talked to these fellas!

Posted by: D@V£ May 18 2008, 02:05

We replaced this man's regular coffee with the strange feeling something is always wrong:

Dave says:
BI released a new video of ArmA2!
http://youtube.com/watch?v=eBGIQ7ZuuiU

Rellikki says:
you bastard

Posted by: JdB May 24 2008, 16:45

"Stupid/Funny community conversations or sentences" and "Jokes thread" threads merged, renamed and pinned.

Posted by: D@V£ May 24 2008, 18:35

Some things never change

Dave says:
Check out the teaser trailer for my MDU project!
http://youtube.com/watch?v=eBGIQ7ZuuiU
Rellikki says:

Posted by: D@V£ May 28 2008, 19:53

Apologies for the double post, but it has been more than 2 days...

Posted by: Rellikki May 28 2008, 21:49

Rellikki says:
some day i sell DNA
and you won't stop me

Dave says:
Heh... you're using this thread against me are you?
Well, you can't stop me, you can't!
I'm too inebriated to be stopped. Scientific fact that is,

Rellikki says:
?
it doesn't matter
because you can't stop ME

Dave says:
Maybe no man can stop you...
but...
SCIENCE can stop you!
TO THE LAB! *Dun-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-naaaah*

Rellikki says:
not so fast
for i am a scientist!

Dave says:


Rellikki says:
scientists are immune to science used in offensive way

Dave says:
But are you a mad scientist?

Rellikki says:
no.
i am an INSANE scientist

Dave says:
OHSHIT!
*explodes*

Posted by: Benoist May 29 2008, 02:55

Jua

Posted by: da rat May 30 2008, 02:16

Note, the next person to post is officially gay. Thank you for your co-operation.

Posted by: D@V£ May 30 2008, 02:18

Posted by: da rat May 30 2008, 02:19

Read the post before Dave's to discover the truth

P.S. /win

Posted by: D@V£ May 30 2008, 02:21

QUOTE(da rat @ May 30 2008, 02:19)

Read the post before Dave's to discover the truth

P.S. /win

Dave says:
Ah yes, but when you typed that...
Dave says:
Then you hit the post button...
Dave says:
YOU POSTED AFTER YOU TYPED IT!

Posted by: da rat May 30 2008, 13:20

It's to late for you Doctor J Davidov, the entire forum already knows your secret.

Posted by: Ryan_D May 30 2008, 15:37

Cole says:
Ey
Ryan(H) says:

Ryan(H) says:
hi
Cole says:
?
Ryan(H) says:
:'(
Cole says:
wha?
Ryan(H) says:
so mean to me
Cole says:
me?
Cole says:
wtf

Posted by: Ryan_D Jun 4 2008, 17:12

I wish Dave was on for this one, but oh well.

Ryan(H) says:
i'm a toilet bowl! :-O
Cheeze Werken is gezond " dus laat het over aan de zieken " (Tired !!!) says:
LOL

Ryan(H) says:
i'm a toilet bowl! :-O
Timothy (Going to heaven is like doing the impossible.) Had a good time with Mark today. says:
toilet bowl?

Posted by: D@V£ Jun 4 2008, 19:33

Sarah Conner?

Posted by: Deadeye Jun 4 2008, 20:54

QUOTE(Ryan_D @ Jun 4 2008, 18:12)

I wish Dave was on for this one, but oh well.
I'm a toilet bowl! :-O

Posted by: Ryan_D Jun 5 2008, 04:59

Awesome!

Posted by: JynX Jun 5 2008, 17:48

QUOTE(D@V£ @ Jun 4 2008, 19:33)

Sarah Conner?

Posted by: Ryan_D Jun 5 2008, 19:10

Couldn't resist posting this.

(8:52 PM) Cole: SWEET TITS
(8:52 PM) Cole: Theres a giant storm here
(8:52 PM) Ryan(H): quiet you! you're bringing back bad memories
(8:53 PM) Ryan(H): you live in czech, right?
(8:54 PM) Cole: about tits?
(8:54 PM) Cole: or the storm?
(8:54 PM) Cole: yea czech republic
(8:54 PM) Cole: lightnings keep hitting houses around
(8:55 PM) Cole: SUPERSONIC BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM
(8:55 PM) Cole: lol
(8:55 PM) Ryan(H): tits is a sexual word, it's bringing back bad memories
(8:55 PM) Ryan(H): lol
(8:55 PM) Cole: you been raped?
(8:55 PM) Cole: lol
(8:56 PM) Cole: KAPOW
(8:56 PM) Cole: f*ck YEAH
(8:56 PM) Ryan(H): STOPPPPPPP
(8:56 PM) Cole: AIM IT HERE, GOD BOY
(8:56 PM) Ryan(H): LMAO
(8:56 PM) Ryan(H): kidden, of course
(8:56 PM) Ryan(H): ing
(8:57 PM) Cole: I'll wear a kitchen foil suit and run on the roof
(8:57 PM) Ryan(H): awesome
(8:57 PM) Ryan(H): do it where the lightning hasn't struck yet (apparantly it doesnt strike in the same place twice (war of the worlds reference! ))
(8:58 PM) Cole: rofl yeah
(8:58 PM) Ryan(H): according to this weather site
(8:58 PM) Ryan(H): it's -50c in antarctica
(8:58 PM) Cole: lol
(8:59 PM) Cole: awesome
(8:59 PM) Cole: *moves there*
(8:59 PM) Ryan(H): what city u in?
(8:59 PM) Cole: Brno (or however you call it in english lol)
(9:00 PM) Ryan(H): A Few Showers. Morning Clouds. Warm.
(9:00 PM) Cole: LOL
(9:00 PM) Cole: RIGHT
(9:00 PM) Ryan(H): har har, that's your weather tommorrow
(9:00 PM) Cole: lemme do a video feed
(9:00 PM) Cole: ah.
(9:00 PM) Cole: tomorrow
(9:00 PM) Making a Video Call to Cole ...
Hang up (Alt+Q)
(9:00 PM) We couldn't find a webcam. Make sure that your webcam is plugged in. If you don't have a webcam, go here to buy one.
(9:00 PM) Cole: and now?
(9:00 PM) Ryan(H): lmao
(9:00 PM) Ryan(H): it doesn't say
(9:00 PM) Ryan(H): only forcast
(9:00 PM) Cole: there should be something like "HOLY SHIT EVACUATE THE BUILDING"
(9:00 PM) You have canceled the Video Call.
(9:01 PM) Ryan(H): and your friday weather
(9:01 PM) Ryan(H): Morning Clouds. Warm.
(9:01 PM) Ryan(H): now to check my weather... i could just get up and look outside, but i'm lazy, yaknow?
(9:01 PM) Ryan(H): Wind Speed 7.4km/h (4.0kt)
(9:07 PM) Cole: yay my wet pizza should be here soon
(9:07 PM) Ryan(H): lmao
(9:07 PM) Ryan(H): wet pizza tastes better, trust me i know
(9:08 PM) Cole: well, depends on what do you "wet it" with
(9:08 PM) Cole: lol
(9:08 PM) Ryan(H): ROFLMAO
(9:08 PM) Cole: beer could be good
(9:08 PM) Cole: but girl cum could be even better? rofl
(9:08 PM) Ryan(H): girl cum?
(9:09 PM) Ryan(H): why not... man cum?
(9:09 PM) Cole: ew
(9:09 PM) Cole: you have that
(9:09 PM) Ryan(H): no lol
(9:09 PM) Cole: im not gay - do not want
(9:09 PM) Ryan(H): tis ok, at least the d doesn't hate me
(9:09 PM) Cole: rofl?
(9:09 PM) Ryan(H): im not gay
(9:09 PM) Ryan(H): i always go too far tho with these jokes
(9:10 PM) Cole: lool
(9:10 PM) Cole: you do
(9:12 PM) Cole: wheres my pizza guy
(9:13 PM) Ryan(H): did you order pizza hut?
(9:13 PM) Cole: nah, we dont have that in czech republic
(9:13 PM) Cole: yet
(9:13 PM) Ryan(H): nooooo
(9:13 PM) Ryan(H): dominoes?
(9:13 PM) Cole: what? lol
(9:13 PM) Ryan(H): (they're like pizza hut)
(9:13 PM) Ryan(H): (but shitter)
(9:13 PM) Cole: oh we do! theres one in Prague but thats 200 km away
(9:13 PM) Ryan(H): lmao
(9:13 PM) Ryan(H): bomb it
(9:14 PM) Cole: nah, Its called Pizza Zakki - czech only
(9:14 PM) Ryan(H): rofl
(9:14 PM) Cole: Bomb Prague pizza hut?
(9:14 PM) Cole: lol
(9:14 PM) Ryan(H): our pizza hut store is like 15m away from a dominoes
(9:14 PM) Ryan(H): it's a competition
(9:14 PM) Cole: lolz
(9:16 PM) Ryan(H): fancy arma in 10-15mins?
(9:16 PM) Ryan(H): (dan has been bugging me all week)
(9:16 PM) Cole: not sure when this pizza guy comes and i want to enjoy my meal in peace
(9:17 PM) Ryan(H): so turn the volume down
(9:17 PM) Cole: if he brings it wet, no tip for him! :<
(9:17 PM) Ryan(H): lol np
(9:17 PM) Cole: rofl
(9:17 PM) Ryan(H): lolol
(9:35 PM) Ryan(H): send a slice this way
(9:38 PM) Cole: no
(10:15 PM) Ryan(H): what pizza did you order? hawaiwen?
(10:17 PM) Cole: nah, Salami.. some freaky uberquality taste salami, cheese, crazy HOT pepper and some spice
(10:17 PM) Cole: yummy
(10:18 PM) Ryan(H): pepperoni?
(10:20 PM) Cole: maybe, dunno, tastes awesome
(10:20 PM) Ryan(H): http://www.pizzahut.com.au/menus/take_away_wa/2?store=36744
(10:20 PM) Ryan(H): http://www.pizzahut.com.au/menus/take_away_wa/1?store=36744
(10:20 PM) Ryan(H): whoops
(10:22 PM) Cole: mmm
(10:22 PM) Ryan(H): SHUTUP!
(10:22 PM) Ryan(H): i'm working tommorrow anyway, i get free pizza
(10:22 PM) Ryan(H): although my family fights over it
(10:23 PM) Cole: lol
(10:23 PM) Ryan(H): BBQ Chicken Lovers
(10:23 PM) Cole: lol
(10:23 PM) Ryan(H): which one in the list looks most like urs?
(10:24 PM) Cole: Pepperoni Lovers does
(10:24 PM) Cole: add chili pepper
(10:24 PM) Ryan(H): fine
(10:24 PM) Ryan(H): tommorrow i'm going to make myself one of them - with tripple everything!
(10:25 PM) Cole: lol you work at pizza hut?
(10:25 PM) Cole: HOLY SHIT
(10:25 PM) Cole: lol
(10:25 PM) Ryan(H):
(10:25 PM) Cole: you do pizzas there?
(10:26 PM) Ryan(H): yesh yesh... yum
(10:26 PM) Cole: lol I'd love a work like that
(10:26 PM) Cole: how much they pay you?
(10:26 PM) Ryan(H): 8.90 an hour
(10:27 PM) Ryan(H): australian dollars!
(10:28 PM) Cole: AUD is the shortcut for australian dollars right?
(10:30 PM) Ryan(H): yesh
(10:30 PM) Cole: thats nice
(10:31 PM) Ryan(H): http://www.pizzahut.com.au/menus/take_away_wa/3?store=36744
(10:31 PM) Ryan(H): see those icecreams... i'll be taking home a pack of them
(10:31 PM) Cole: mini magnum? Nice
(10:31 PM) Ryan(H): muahaha
(10:32 PM) Cole: they give you all that or you steal?
(10:32 PM) Cole: rofl
(10:32 PM) Ryan(H): lolol
(10:32 PM) Ryan(H): do i say?
(10:32 PM) Cole: yes
(10:32 PM) Cole: rofl
(10:33 PM) Ryan(H): lol
(10:33 PM) Ryan(H): uhm
(10:33 PM) Ryan(H): sweat
(10:33 PM) Ryan(H): no i dont steal!
(10:33 PM) Ryan(H): beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep
(10:33 PM) Cole: rofl

Posted by: Zipper5 Jun 5 2008, 19:48

What you get with Cole, Ryan and myself in the same conversation:

Ryan(H) says (21:10):
http://forum.armedassault.info/index.php?showtopic=1266&st=220&gopid=43415&#entry43415
Zipper5 says (21:11):
rofl
Zipper5 says (21:12):
who is Cole?
Ryan(H) says (21:13):
this funny guy
Zipper5 says (21:13):
lol
indeed
does he have an online alias I would know?
Ryan(H) says (21:13):
yes
Zipper5 says (21:13):
tell me
Ryan(H) says (21:14):
i've invited him to enough convo's tonight, i'll have to ask him (he's not replying btw)! :-O
or another time
Zipper5 says (21:14):
indeed
Ryan(H) says (21:14):
wtf
Zipper5 says (21:15):
indeedledoodly?
Ryan(H) says (21:15):

meh
i'll invite him anyway, but he might block me
*
* Cole was added to the conversation. Handwriting is supported only with people on your contact list.
*
Zipper5 says (21:16):
lol
Cole says (21:16):
I wish I could decide if I want to join ryans uberchats or not
lol
Ryan(H) says (21:16):
zipper5 forced me to invite you cole, sorry for if any inconvencience... zipper5 is very immature for his age (6)
Zipper5 says (21:16):
lol, I wonder if he actually believes you
Ryan(H) says (21:16):
how old are you, anyway? wtf
Zipper5 says (21:16):
me? 15
Ryan(H) says (21:17):
har har, i'm 1yr older
Zipper5 says (21:17):
damn you
Cole says (21:17):
lies ryan
Ryan(H) says (21:17):
2 in 2 months
Cole says (21:17):
youre six
Zipper5 says (21:17):
lol
Ryan(H) says (21:17):
the truth is out
Cole says (21:17):
if anyone would care, im 16
Zipper5 says (21:17):
you're both 16 then
Ryan(H) says (21:17):
he's the same age as me, so i think
Zipper5 says (21:17):
oh noes?
Ryan(H) says (21:18):
let's tease zipper5, cole
Cole says (21:18):
no you
Ryan(H) says (21:18):
for being younger
Cole says (21:18):
*pokes ryan in the eye*
Ryan(H) says (21:18):

Cole says (21:18):
I like younger.. girls! like 15
lol
Ryan(H) says (21:18):
wtf
Zipper5 says (21:18):
I like older girls...
like 16
lol
Ryan(H) says (21:18):
lolol
Cole says (21:18):
zipper incase youre a girl.. a/s/l?
Ryan(H) says (21:18):
are you a girl, zipper5?
Cole says (21:18):
rofl
Zipper5 says (21:19):
no
Ryan(H) says (21:19):
doesn't matter
ahem... potential threesome
Cole says (21:19):
ew
EW
Ryan(H) says (21:19):
rofl
Cole says (21:19):
F*** YOU RYAN TOILET
Zipper5 says (21:19):
... :|
Ryan(H) says (21:19):
lmao
i'm speechless too, zipper5
Zipper5 says (21:20):
hm
I'm not so sure I'm speechless because of Coles comment... *ahem*... :|
Ryan(H) says (21:20):
damnit cole
Zipper5 says (21:21):
hm
you guys like wet girl cum pizzas...
Ryan(H) says (21:21):
keep reading
Zipper5 says (21:21):
even when she's a butt-ugly bitch of a girl? Lol
Ryan(H) says (21:21):
read the next line
Zipper5 says (21:22):
I did
lol
Ryan(H) says (21:22):
(6)
Cole says (21:22):
ugly?
no.
Zipper5 says (21:22):
you guys don't like Dominoes it seems...
Cole says (21:22):
ugly girls are like elephants
Zipper5 says (21:22):
lol
Cole says (21:22):
I never even knew what Dominoes is
Ryan(H) says (21:22):
lol
Zipper5 says (21:22):
rofl
Ryan(H) says (21:22):
dominies is gay
not that i mind, but it still suck
Cole says (21:22):
it sucks because you work at pizza hut
Cole says (21:23):
if youd work at dominoes, pizza hut would suck
f*ggot
Ryan(H) says (21:23):
quite true, your point?
Cole says (21:23):
howgh
my point is that you are a toilet
unflushed one.
Ryan(H) says (21:23):
pizza hut will always win, for i used to work at dominoes!
lol
Cole says (21:24):
lol, thats the reason why dominoes suck
you worked there, destroyed everything
Ryan(H) says (21:24):
lmao you smart arse
Zipper5 says (21:24):
lol he turned your words around and used them against you. He is indeed a SMART arse
Ryan(H) says (21:24):
he does it all the time
Cole says (21:25):
I know, I'm so cool
Zipper5 says (21:25):
S-M-R-T - I mean S-M-A-R-T
Ryan(H) says (21:25):
lol
Cole says (21:25):
Zipper want me to sign your tits?
Im famous
Zipper5 says (21:25):
:|
*runs*
Cole says (21:25):
jk lol
Ryan(H) says (21:25):
u didn't ask me?
Cole says (21:25):
wait I have candy!
ryan because you suck
Zipper5 says (21:25):
I would show you a picture of my girlfriend if I could find one...
Ryan(H) says (21:25):
lolol
Zipper5 says (21:25):
and she's 16
lol
Ryan(H) says (21:25):
why not show him a pic... of your boyfriend? they're easy to find (6)
Zipper5 says (21:26):
:@
Cole says (21:26):
lol, show us
fap material?
Ryan(H) says (21:26):
lol
Zipper5 says (21:26):
lol
do it and I chop it off
Cole says (21:26):
dont you lol me, kids!
Zipper5 says (21:26):
be warned!
Cole says (21:26):
it what
Ryan(H) says (21:26):
still single, but i'm looking!
Zipper5 says (21:26):
the fapper
Ryan(H) says (21:26):
ahem...
Cole says (21:26):
ryan youre so blind youll never find anything
Ryan(H) says (21:26):
i'm looking......

ahem
Cole says (21:26):
maybe an old shoe
Ryan(H) says (21:27):
maybe you
teeheehee (6)
Cole says (21:27):
Zipper5 : no dont touch my fapper
Zipper5 says (21:27):
lol what could he be looking for?
Cole says (21:27):
lol
Zipper5 says (21:27):
he will never find it!
Cole says (21:27):
elephant girls!
Ryan(H) says (21:27):
wrong again
elephant boys
Zipper5 says (21:27):
rofl
Ryan(H) says (21:27):
ohshit, it's 2:27am
Zipper5 says (21:28):
:|
where do you live, Ryan?
Cole says (21:28):
its 20:28
Ryan(H) says (21:28):
moon
Zipper5 says (21:28):
Cole's much closer to me
it's 21:28 here
Cole says (21:28):
Czech Republic
Ryan(H) says (21:28):
why is the last 2 numbers the same as mine
Zipper5 says (21:28):
where do you actually live, Ryan?
Cole says (21:28):
because you suck ryan
he lives in the toilet!
*flushes*
Zipper5 says (21:28):
lol I'm never going to get a real answer
Ryan(H) says (21:28):
moon... moon internet has to travel through tubes... it's slow
Cole says (21:29):
a toilet called australia
ryan got owned
Ryan(H) says (21:29):
rofl
Zipper5 says (21:29):
really? He's Australian
Cole says (21:29):
ye
Zipper5 says (21:29):
hm
Ryan(H) says (21:29):
cole you smartarse
Zipper5 says (21:29):
that would explain a lot...
Ryan(H) says (21:29):
lol
wacked out aussie
Cole says (21:30):
I prefer ass
not arse
wait
Zipper5 says (21:30):
goddamnit, my index finger is killing me. Was playing basketball today at school and the asshole hits my hind right as I go to grab the ball and pushes my finger back... I think I sprained the bastard
Cole says (21:30):
that sounded..
weird
he hit your hind?
Zipper5 says (21:30):
ROFL
Ryan(H) says (21:30):
arse sounds better
Zipper5 says (21:30):
*hand
Cole says (21:30):
Damn, did it crash or the pilots ejected?
Ryan(H) says (21:30):
lol zipper
Zipper5 says (21:30):
ironic how it just happened to be Hind that I wrote
...
Ryan(H) says (21:30):
lol
Zipper5 says (21:30):
eugh, I can barely type
Ryan(H) says (21:31):
excellent, i shall torture you by asking you questions
yo zipper5, how old are u
Cole says (21:31):
15
Ryan(H) says (21:31):
there... that shut him up
ok now i'm bored
Ryan(H) says (21:32):
sorry!
talk!
u bastard
Zipper5 says (21:32):
sorry, was getting a drink
Cole says (21:32):
k kids im off to some phonesex with my girlfriend and then sleep
uh
Zipper5 says (21:32):
I am indeed 15
rofl
Zipper5 says (21:33):
enjoyz
Cole says (21:33):
you know i was joking, right?
Ryan(H) says (21:33):
girlfriend?
Cole says (21:33):
phonesex sucks
Zipper5 says (21:33):
boyfriend instead!
who is Ryan!
zomg!
Cole says (21:33):
ryan II.: yes, something youll never have
NO WAY
Ryan(H) says (21:33):
zipper5 has got it
Cole says (21:33):
ew get off me ryan II.
Ryan(H) says (21:33):
lol
Cole says (21:33):
um
Zipper5 says (21:33):
that's your guys' version of phonesex?
how boring...
Cole says (21:33):
why did I name you ryan II. anyways
Zipper5 says (21:33):
*puts images into Cole's head*
Ryan(H) says (21:33):
my clone will hold you while i rape
Cole says (21:34):
RyanTheAsshole would be better
k, off now
*ejects*
Zipper5 says (21:34):
indeed, he has an asshole
Ryan(H) says (21:34):
nooo
Cole says (21:34):
cya guys
Zipper5 says (21:34):
you should know
lol
Cole says (21:34):
ew
Zipper5 says (21:34):
bye
Ryan(H) says (21:34):
ryanthewackedoutaussieasshole is better
cya
Cole says (21:34):
*slaps zipper with a fish*
Zipper5 slaps Cole
Ryan(H) says (21:34):
a "fish"
*
* Cole has left the conversation.
*
Ryan(H) says (21:34):
he enjoyed that
Zipper5 says (21:34):
indeed
Ryan(H) says (21:35):
YOU enjoyed that!
Zipper5 says (21:35):
noes
Ryan(H) says (21:35):
very well... i must go to bed...
Zipper5 says (21:35):
rofl
right as Cole goes off to have phonesex with his "girlfriend"...
Ryan(H) says (21:35):
i hate sleeping in the morning... that's why i'm going to sleep through it
wonder why we both leave at the same time..
Zipper5 says (21:36):
lol
all right, see you later
Ryan(H) says (21:36):
bye!
Zipper5 says (21:36):
:-O:-O:-O
Ryan(H) says (21:36):
bye
Zipper5 says (21:36):
bye
Ryan(H) says (21:36):
good bye
Zipper5 says (21:36):
buhbye!
Ryan(H) says (21:36):
wait, it's 2:36am.. that means it's the morning now, and i hate sleeping in the mornings wtf
Zipper5 says (21:36):
lol
Zipper5 says (21:37):
epic fail
FAIL
Ryan(H) says (21:37):
AWAY! (brb)
Zipper5 says (21:37):
FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIL
LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
Ryan(H) says (21:37):

bye
bye
byee
bye
bye
Zipper5 says (21:37):
bye
Zipper5 says (21:37):
lol
Ryan(H) says (21:37):
ok, bye
now
Zipper5 says (21:37):
GO ALREADY! :@
lol
Ryan(H) says (21:37):
good bye, now
bye (6)
Zipper5 says (21:37):
to the thread!
*copes and pastes*
*copies
Ryan(H) says (21:38):
stop keeping me awake, or the morning will eat me
Zipper5 says (21:38):
must... keep... Ryan... awake
Ryan(H) says (21:38):
post the thread (6)
in the thread
Zipper5 says (21:38):
but his temptation to have phonesex with Cole is too great!
lol
Ryan(H) says (21:38):
lolol
nonono
not phonesex
real sex!
Zipper5 says (21:38):
buttsechz
Ryan(H) says (21:38):
(damnit, you got me going again)
Zipper5 says (21:38):
rofl
Ryan(H) says (21:39):
now, byebye!
Zipper5 says (21:39):
sionara
Ryan(H) says (21:39):
oh, but first, i have to logout of the forums, or the whole will blow up
*world
Zipper5 says (21:39):
indeed
Ryan(H) says (21:40):
now, bye
Zipper5 says (21:40):
bye
Ryan(H) says (21:40):
(if you post it, include every word from start to finish)
bye!
now, bye
goodbye
Zipper5 says (21:40):
lol
I should
Ryan(H) says (21:40):
goodnight, moring..
Zipper5 says (21:40):
see you later
Ryan(H) says (21:40):
ohshit, it's morning wtf
for real now, bye
Zipper5 says (21:40):
I shall never be rid of you
ok, lol
Ryan(H) says (21:41):

(6)
bye now

Posted by: JdB Jun 5 2008, 20:26

The start of this topic reads:

Posted by: pMASTER Jun 7 2008, 16:34

The very best conversations from G-B.org, translated into English

<avenger> Yeah! Two weeks of sun, beach, sea... yeah!
<tabea01> Nice =) Hey, gotta ask you something, do you still love me?
<avenger> Of course I do, why do you ask?
<tabea01> Good, I have to confess something...
<avenger> Something bad?
<tabea01> What? Well, it depends...
<avenger> You're using my computer?
<tabea01> Yes I do but I meant something else, I can't wait till you come home
<tabea01> Well ...
<tabea01> I'm pregnant.
<avenger> ... Don't ever shock me again in that way!!! I thought you could have deleted my hard drive or something like that!
<avenger> Hey that's great, congrats Who is the father?
<tabea01> ...
<tabea01> YOU ARE THE FATHER, YOU MORON!!!

Posted by: JynX Jun 7 2008, 16:49

All excellent reasons not to use chat rooms

Posted by: da rat Jun 7 2008, 22:47

Funniest thing to do on chatrooms is sign in with a name like: "SeXi_TeeN" and see how many private chats invites you get in 10 seconds

Posted by: JynX Jun 8 2008, 03:17

Found a new one: go find an emo-esque, or entirely emo chat room.
Find the shortest amount of time of non-stop abuse does it take to have some twat threaten suicide.
I've found constructive arguments against their right to life very effective. (20 mins excluding coffee break)

Posted by: Ryan_D Jun 8 2008, 10:43

Little Johnny strikes again

Posted by: Zipper5 Jun 8 2008, 13:54

__________
Rellikki has been added to the conversation.
__________
Ryan(H) says (15:29):
:@
Rellikki says (15:29):
no. :@
__________
Rellikki has left the conversation.
__________
Ryan(H) says (15:30):
well, i'll leave before you (6)
oh

Ryan(H) says (19:51):
i've always wanted to be in one of those rellikki vs dave chats (6)
Zipper5 says (19:51):
lol
Ryan(H) says (19:51):
they look so cool in that topic
you know what i mean, a threesome

jk
Zipper5 says (19:52):
to the thread! :-O

Ryan(H) says (19:52):
:-O
Zipper5 says (19:52):
well to the thread... again...

Posted by: Ryan_D Jun 9 2008, 11:28

Heh...

(12:55 AM) Nath has been added to the conversation.
(12:55 AM) Ryan(H): nath
(12:55 AM) Zipper5: da rat shall substitute for Dave
(12:55 AM) Zipper5: now have your Dave vs Rellikki talks
(12:55 AM) Zipper5:
(12:56 AM) Ryan(H): it just isn't the same!
(12:56 AM) Zipper5: make it work :@
(12:56 AM) Rellikki: :@
(12:56 AM) Zipper5: well, he's AFK anyways
(12:56 AM) Zipper5: :-O
(12:56 AM) Ryan(H): alright, ill give it a go
(12:56 AM) Zipper5: lol
(12:56 AM) Ryan(H): nath, you can't escape me, for i have a table! :-O
(12:56 AM) Rellikki: f*ck you ryan :@
(12:56 AM) Ryan(H): it isn't the same
(12:56 AM) Zipper5: lol
(12:57 AM) Zipper5: now you're all stuck together
(12:57 AM) Ryan(H): RELLLLIKKKKKI
(12:57 AM) Zipper5: *RUNZ*
(12:57 AM) Rellikki: f*ck you ryan :@
(12:57 AM) Ryan(H): not so fast, only i may leave first
(12:57 AM) Zipper5: *RUNZ AGAINZ*
(12:57 AM) Ryan(H): damnit, you bet me :@
(12:57 AM) Zipper5: lol
(12:58 AM) Zipper5: I am running very fast right now... and I can't stop... :|
(12:58 AM) Ryan(H): tubby?

Posted by: pMASTER Jun 9 2008, 12:10

Once more G-B.org

Posted by: Rellikki Jun 10 2008, 20:55

Rellikki says:
STOP RIGHT THERE!
get me a french guy

Dave says:
'kay

Rellikki says:
and serve him to me right here on this conversation

Dave says:
I'm sorry, but we just gave away our last french guy.

Rellikki says:
you don't understand...
when i tell you to get me a french guy, you will get me one.

Dave says:
No, you don't understand
I'M BRIAN BLESSED
HELLO

Rellikki says:
hello, who is this?

Dave says:
I'M BRIAN BLESSED. HELLO!

Rellikki says:
hello
get me a french guy

Dave says:
No, YOU get ME a French guy, or else I will destory...
Your Mother

Rellikki says:
you don't understand...
when you'll destroy my mother
you'll destroy her.

Dave says:
No, I think I understood that bit pretty well.
That's kind of what I had in mind...

Rellikki says:
mind this
*takes a dump into dave's mouth*

Dave says:
I don't have a mouth.

Rellikki says:
*drills a mouth on dave*

Dave says:
In fact, I don't exist at all
So I don't know who your ravenging there, but I'd advise against it, they might be a machosist.

Rellikki says:
bastards..
oh, there's my french guy
farewell mr. dumpy mouth.

A few seconds later...

NOOO, HE'S GONE

Dave says:
Ha!
And that's what happens when you try to LASER me

Rellikki says:
im sorry? i didn't try to laser you
i do not have a laser
however, my gun does:
*lasers dave*

Dave says:
Now you shall pay the piper
As your punishment
You must catalogue every difference between the tracks aa_death_theme_ii and aa_death_II

Rellikki says:
yes. the volume of the intro is different
and many other things that i don't know how to explain
THERE.

Dave says:
Curse you and your limited vocabulary!

Rellikki says:

Posted by: Ryan_D Jun 11 2008, 19:42

Ryan(H) says:
today, or yesterday, i woke up it was 9am, then i woke up again at midday :-O
Ryan(H) says:
ok, i didn't make much sense there
Imy(squad_e) says:
lol
Imy(squad_e) says:
today i woke up, to see if i could wake up
Ryan(H) says:
lol
Ryan(H) says:
one time i woke up so i could go back to bed! :-O
Imy(squad_e) says:
:-O
Imy(squad_e) says:
i went to sleep, to see if i could sleep till the morning i wake up
Ryan(H) says:

Ryan(H) says:
yeah, well... once i went to bed, and i never woke up
Imy(squad_e) says:
still looks it too
Ryan(H) says:
i have told the furture, for i am about to go to bed! :-O

Posted by: D@V£ Jun 16 2008, 12:12

I just got this in an Email;

Posted by: pMASTER Jun 16 2008, 14:34

Scary...

Time for another hilarious quote from G-B.org

<Nimm> Hey, Harald, don't you think you've forgotten something when you came to me for your cds?
<Horaz> I think I've got everything with me...Cigaretts, keys, my money, my jacket - What do you mean?
<Nimm> Hmmm, how about your daughter?
<Horaz>... Shit I'm on my way!!!! Sorry, dude!
<Nimm> No problem...

Posted by: Blackscorpion Jun 16 2008, 16:29

Posted by: Helping Hand Jun 18 2008, 21:10

Dave says:
Checking forums.
Dave says:

Dave says:
You bastard!

Posted by: JdB Jun 18 2008, 21:22

Deadeye: wow HH is already busy...
JdB: I know, I am guiding him
JdB: I shall call him....MINI-ME!
Deadeye: I know, collecting allies for the revolution eh ?
JdB: yup

Posted by: Helping Hand Jun 28 2008, 21:01

Mark - The Demure Chibi. says:
http://i90.photobucket.com/albums/k278/mez101/PDinvite3small.jpg suggestive image ^^
Dave says:
Porn Disco?
Dave says:
What a wonderous age we live in
Mark - The Demure Chibi. says:
We should go lol
Mark - The Demure Chibi. says:
you can be the ho

Posted by: Rellikki Jul 1 2008, 03:14

Some really weird Iraqi kid contacted me some time ago... Said that he found my MSN address from google. Here's one conversation I just had with him:

Murtada says:
i speake with you and u listen to a music

Rellikki says:
yes..

Murtada says:
hahahahah

Rellikki says:
what?

Murtada says:
hahahaha=lol
=laugh

Rellikki says:
i know
but why are you laughing?

Murtada says:
i laugh cause
i speak and u listen to a music

Rellikki says:
um, yeah
what about it?

*Murtada has signed off*

Posted by: pMASTER Jul 1 2008, 03:42

No, it is actually WAT nowadays.

Posted by: Rellikki Jul 1 2008, 03:51

Damnit... and I even failed understanding that Murtada guy... *suicide*

Posted by: D@V£ Jul 2 2008, 22:17

WARNING. This conversation contains graphical scenes of "serjery" from the outset. You have been warned.

Posted by: pMASTER Jul 3 2008, 11:44

Thank you for stealing 30 seconds of my I could have spent elsewhere.

Posted by: D@V£ Jul 3 2008, 14:21

QUOTE(pMASTER @ Jul 3 2008, 11:44)

Thank you for stealing 30 seconds of my I could have spent elsewhere.

Posted by: Deadeye Jul 3 2008, 15:04

QUOTE(D@V£ @ Jul 3 2008, 15:21)

Now who's the hero?

Posted by: pMASTER Jul 3 2008, 16:01

QUOTE(D@V£ @ Jul 3 2008, 15:21)

Better to look at it this way:
I took 30 seconds of your life which you could have spent on DRUGS!

Now who's the hero?

Posted by: pMASTER Jul 5 2008, 20:59

Posted by: da rat Jul 5 2008, 21:29

Hatsecks.

Posted by: D@V£ Jul 6 2008, 00:14

QUOTE(da rat @ Jul 5 2008, 21:29)

Posted by: pMASTER Jul 6 2008, 00:36

The sheer number of occasions in which D@V£ leaves me without a single clue what the frigging heck is talking about is absolutely fascinating. Please tell me you don't feel very different.

Posted by: pMASTER Jul 7 2008, 12:44

G-B.org again

<Fafnir> It's not funny that you think of "erotic" if you hear the verb "ironic"
<hergipotter> It's not funny that you think "erotic" and "ironic" could be verbs


<sLipo> Had some lessons cancelled today, well and whilst I was waiting on the railway station, a granny looked at me and asked "Why aren't you in school?"
<sLipo> I said "Why aren't you in the nursing home?"


<mav> What is a man's best friend, a woman or a dog?<darkstone> A dog of course.
<mav> Why?
<darkstone> Imagine the following: You put your woman and your dog into the trunk of your car.
<darkstone> If you open the trunk again after let's say one hour, which one of both will be more happy to see you?
<mav> Right...


<riFem> Really, this is so stupid, one should think something like that could not really happen
<riFem> Well, we were sitting in the train back to Germany, next to us there were two English teens
<riFem> We were really drunk, the music was on, and we kept drinking
<riFem> Then we made a pillow fight with cookies and threw things out of the train...
<riFem> All of a sudden, one of these English girls heads toward the door to another wagon
<riFem> About a minute later, me and a buddy of me follow her
<riFem> Well and we find her talking to a train guard
<riFem> "They're drinking alcohol, throwing things out of the window, they're smelling, having turned on loud music" blablabla
<riFem> The train guard spots us, and says "Hey guys, come on here."
<riFem> And we thought "sh*t, we're f*cked now".
<riFem> The train guard: "I don't speak English, could you translate what she's saying?"
<riFem> DING DING DING *SMILE*


<markus> Bye Tina!
<Tina> Bye, Markus!
markus Quit
<st3f!x> Godlike...
<k0r> Indeed it is. When do want to tell him that Tina is a bot?
<st3f!x> No hurries. Maybe he asks her out


<luke> Wait a minute, I recognized something.
<luke> In 1981, Prince Charles married, Liverpool won the UEFA Cup and the Pope died
<luke> In 2005, Prince Charles married again, Liverpool won the UEFA Cup again and the Pope died - AGAIN
<luke> Maybe one should notify the Pope the next time when Prince Charles marries and Liverpool wins the UEFA Cup?

<Dantohr> How cool is that?
<KonBon.de> What?
<Dantohr> What happened today in school! Well, a teacher sat in the canteen and ate his lunch. A student took a seat next to him without asking. The teacher became angry and asked "Since when do eagles and pigs eat together?"
<KonBon.de>
<Dantohr> It turns even better!
<Dantohr> The student answered "Well, then I shall fly to the next table".


<Mickey> Heard a great joke today.
<123> So?
<Mickey> Fritzchen gets home early and by accident he sees his father naked in the bathroom
<Mickey> The father is of course very embarrassed
<Mickey> Fritzchen asks "What is that thing there" and points with his finger towards his fathers manhood
<Mickey> The father replies "Oh well son, that's a penis".
<Mickey> The next morning Fritzchen meets his friends and asks them: "Do you know what a penis is? That's a ridiculously tiny dick."

Posted by: enad1 Jul 14 2008, 19:06

Hopefully its alright to post conversations with non-community members.
*Talking with my 10 year old nephew who likes Rap music.

Me: What are you listening to James?
James: lil. john. hes so cool!
Me: oh.....wait what is he saying......skeet skeet skeet?
James: Yeah. Can you leave.
Me: Wait....what does skeet mean?
James: *whispers me the answer*
Me: Woah! Why are you listening to music like that!
James: Cause its gangsta.
Me: Shut up. Your 10.
James: Ok. Ill turn off this song. But listen to this one!
*turns on a song that starts out saying "move bitch get out the way"*
Me: Thats very nice.......now turn it off.
James: No. Ludacris is awesome!
Me: Whos Ludacris?
James: The rapper. He has an afro and is so cool.
Me: I can have an afro too......*walks out of the room sad*

For those who don't know what skeet means, it means sperm. I know what your thinking....I thought the same.

Posted by: Helping Hand Jul 14 2008, 19:17

It's fine to post them I'd think as long as it's not anything conflicting with the forum rules.

Posted by: enad1 Jul 14 2008, 20:48

Ok thanks!

Posted by: Ryan_D Jul 16 2008, 09:23

Found this is chatlog.

(5:35 PM) Dave:
If cheese could talk, it'd be awesome cheese!
I don't think it'd taste so good though D:

(5:35 PM) Ryan(H):
what about cheese on toast!?

(5:36 PM) Dave:
[hmm] Well, I don't see anyway cheese on toast could taste bad...

(5:36 PM) Ryan(H):
what if it's burnt?

(5:36 PM) Dave:
It's still good

(5:36 PM) Ryan(H):
no!
i actually had left cheese on toast in the oven today for too long, i had to give it to the dog - which he didn't like it either

(5:37 PM) Dave:
Well then...
You should have grilled it

(5:37 PM) Ryan(H):
i was trying to with the oven

(5:40 PM) Dave:
Well then
You should be made to use a microwave

(5:40 PM) Ryan(H):

how can you grill with a microwave

(5:40 PM) Dave:
You can't burn it in the microwave!
Just... microwave it to melt the cheese. You have to pre-toast the bread and it goes a tad soggy, but it's still good, you know?

(5:41 PM) Ryan(H):
what if it's in there for too long?

(5:41 PM) Dave:
The bread goes very soggy. That is all.
Yip yip yip yip D:

Posted by: D@V£ Jul 16 2008, 16:50

Yip Yip Yip D=



....



On a side note, I wholly endorse cheese on toast. It's bloody great.

Posted by: Helping Hand Jul 16 2008, 17:00

Mark - The Demure Chibi. says:
I'm being collected and taken to a secret location in around half an hour

Dave says:
Aha! Har har har har har!


Mark - The Demure Chibi. says:
I'm taking my Axe

Dave says:

Oh?
A cutlass no' good enuff fer ya, 'eh?

Mark - The Demure Chibi. says:
It is but it's a bit big tae hide in my wee coat lass.

Dave says:

I'm not scottish.