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> US Presidential Erections, The - Vote For JdB's moderating to go Nuclear - poll
US Presidential Elections
Who should be the next president of the USA?
Obama [ 3 ] ** [25.00%]
Romney [ 1 ] ** [8.33%]
JdB (just imagine the reign of terror I could unleash with a superpower) [ 4 ] ** [33.33%]
A zombie (at least he'll have an excuse for not using his brains) [ 3 ] ** [25.00%]
D@V£'s pet mutated sheep (unremarkable but fair) [ 1 ] ** [8.33%]
Total Votes: 12
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JdB
post Nov 5 2012, 23:23
Post #1


Hipster addonmaker
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The safety of the entire world is at stake, choose wisely! ohnoo.gif


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pMASTER
post Nov 5 2012, 23:34
Post #2


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(X) pMASTER (he's a real politician already and professional crazy basterd!) mad.gif


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D@V£
post Nov 5 2012, 23:48
Post #3


Gee, I wish we had one of them doomsday machines.
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I'd vote for JdB. Those damn rebellious colonials deserve the worst leader they can get! tongue.gif


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QUOTE(Major Mike Shearer)
We can categorically state that we have not released man-eating badgers into the area.
QUOTE(Brace Belden)
A machine gun is like a woman, I donít understand it, Iím afraid of it, and one day Iíll accidentally be killed by one.
 
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pMASTER
post Nov 6 2012, 00:10
Post #4


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Point taken. Also, why would I want to govern the US-of-fucking-A. Granted they have a nice view every here and there, but that's about it... the rest is shitty cars, pissy beer and plastic women in addition to religious right wing nutjobs and delusional liberals. And about two thirds of the world hate them.


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JdB
post Nov 6 2012, 02:49
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QUOTE(pMASTER @ Nov 6 2012, 00:10) *
Point taken. Also, why would I want to govern the US-of-f*cking-A. Granted they have a nice view every here and there, but that's about it... the rest is sh*tty cars, pissy beer and plastic women in addition to religious right wing nutjobs and delusional liberals. And about two thirds of the world hate them.


In this order:

- Outlaw American beer;
- Outsource beer production foreign companies;
- Promise the armed forces a 50% budget increase, pay for this by stopping all welfare but don't tell anyone that last bit just yet;
- Support of the armed forces and the armaments industry now guaranteed;
- Drunken citizens won't even notice the revokation of their civil rights and the martial law that replaces it;
- Tell people their welfare is gone, but that beer is now heavily subsidized (still cheaper than wellfare and healthcare for those that can't afford it since the average life expectancy will also go done because of side-effects of alcohol abuse. Two crates of beer costs about $12, a day of hospital admittance several thousand dollars);
- With wellfare gone, the reason for socialist and liberal parties existing is gone. Dissolve all such parties, imprison all active members;
- Dissolve and imprison any other party that objects to the previous measure;
- Anyone not employed is to be put to working on public works to keep them busy (no revolting), fed and keep the country in working order;
- This will improve the state of public transportation and will reduce the dependancy on oil and other fossil fuels. Discourage ownership of cars by increasing the tax by 75%. Most of the cars in the US are from US brands so that should finish them off if the withdrawl of heavy government bail-out funds hasn't already;
- Yes, that might upset the oil industry, but since their main puppets the politicians are gone and the armed forces they used to support the interests of the oil industry are on my side, they really don't stand a chance;
- Prostitution and the production of porn are now illegal in the whole of the US. Puts too much of a strain on health care and security services, and with the population drunk regularly there really is no reason for either of them because of alcohol fueled orgies. Also plastic surgery is made redundant because of the very simple rule: "After half a crate of beer, every women starts to look attractive";
- Gay marriage and abortion are now legal in the whole of the US. Do whatever the hell you want as long as you're not trying to undermine my rule or authority of the state, which again equals ME;
- All crimes against the state are now punished by death, the term "crimes against the state" is to be used as a blanket for virtually everything. Bullets are cheaper than prisons;
- Bulldoze gettos and other problem areas according to a scorched earth policy (leaving nothing standing, regardless of whether it's an object or something that draws breath);
- If other nations object to this and may decide that it's a just cause to "liberate" the people of the US, my next speech will coincidentally be made from a nuclear launch site where I just happened to be inspecting a mere fraction of our huge inventory of nukes. It's not a threat but rather a message. The nuance? Not sure to be honest ... ;
- Have religious structures redesignated as practice structures for novice demolition teams;
- People won't go to underground churches on Sundays because they've got a massive hang over from the weekend before;
- Have all words referencing to Gods and prophets in all literature and popular media changed to characters from Harry Potter, no one will notice the difference since Harry Potter actually sounds more realistic than most religious texts;
- Have J.K. Rowling killed before she can file for a copyright infringement lawsuit;
- Make education cheaper, but make sure they only learn what they need to, not useless things like world events, politics and human rights;
- All of these measures will likely decrease the population of the US, reducing the strain on resources like oil, food and water. In case of too much depopulation, lower age of conscent to 14, outlaw abortions as needed;
- If the working population drops below requirement, import people from the Philippines, Thailand or another place that perceives child labor as a learning experiece rather than a bad thing.

This post has been edited by JdB: Nov 6 2012, 03:23


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D@V£
post Nov 6 2012, 17:38
Post #6


Gee, I wish we had one of them doomsday machines.
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QUOTE(pMASTER @ Nov 5 2012, 23:10) *
right wing nutjobs ... And about two thirds of the world hate them.

I dunno, it seems your nations have more in common than you'd think tongue.gif


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The Rules - Nothing too complicated, follow these and we'll have no problems.
Moderation Feedback Thread - Tell everyone how much you hate me love me secretly fear that Mark is watching you while you sleep. secretly wish that Mark is watching you while you sleep.
Site Issues Thread - Complain about site issues here. We might even fix them!
Community Chatter Thread - Furthest Mud-sling gets a free subscription to "JdB Monthly".

QUOTE(Major Mike Shearer)
We can categorically state that we have not released man-eating badgers into the area.
QUOTE(Brace Belden)
A machine gun is like a woman, I donít understand it, Iím afraid of it, and one day Iíll accidentally be killed by one.
 
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pMASTER
post Nov 7 2012, 05:49
Post #7


Gentleman Usher of the Coffee Stain
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Bah. It's settled. Now Obama will send his crew to us again to tell us that debts are the only way to solve the... debt crisis.
QUOTE(D@V£ @ Nov 6 2012, 17:38) *
I dunno, it seems your nations have more in common than you'd think tongue.gif
Yep... "dunno". No real right wing whatsoever here, much less right wing nutjobs.


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R.I.P. Jacky *1996-Ü2014
 
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D@V£
post Nov 7 2012, 15:02
Post #8


Gee, I wish we had one of them doomsday machines.
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QUOTE(pMASTER @ Nov 7 2012, 04:49) *
Yep... "dunno". No real right wing whatsoever here, much less right wing nutjobs.

Present company excluded, I assume? tongue.gif


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The Rules - Nothing too complicated, follow these and we'll have no problems.
Moderation Feedback Thread - Tell everyone how much you hate me love me secretly fear that Mark is watching you while you sleep. secretly wish that Mark is watching you while you sleep.
Site Issues Thread - Complain about site issues here. We might even fix them!
Community Chatter Thread - Furthest Mud-sling gets a free subscription to "JdB Monthly".

QUOTE(Major Mike Shearer)
We can categorically state that we have not released man-eating badgers into the area.
QUOTE(Brace Belden)
A machine gun is like a woman, I donít understand it, Iím afraid of it, and one day Iíll accidentally be killed by one.
 
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pMASTER
post Nov 7 2012, 18:15
Post #9


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QUOTE(D@V£ @ Nov 7 2012, 15:02) *
Present company excluded, I assume? tongue.gif
weirdsmiley.gif


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JdB
post Nov 7 2012, 20:37
Post #10


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QUOTE(pMASTER @ Nov 7 2012, 18:15) *
weirdsmiley.gif


There are no right wing nutjobs here, we are just a collection of people that feel that late 19th century policies are better than todays flawed ideas of equality and social caring.


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Rewan
post Dec 17 2012, 11:52
Post #11


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I didn't see that thread earlier (damn me !)

But I got a hunch that answer 4 and 5 would give the same result. unsure.gif


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Hornet85
post May 5 2013, 13:50
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i go for the Zombie they are used to have presidents like that just look at the Bush familie


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Flyer
post Mar 19 2017, 10:33
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Well, I guess you did not foresee that orange persiflage of president in 2017... --> So Zombie would be the correct answer for the new presidential term

This post has been edited by Flyer: Mar 19 2017, 10:33


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JdB
post Mar 19 2017, 17:07
Post #14


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QUOTE(Flyer @ Mar 19 2017, 10:33) *
Well, I guess you did not foresee that orange persiflage of president in 2017... --> So Zombie would be the correct answer for the new presidential term


No, short-tempered clowns were obviously not considered for the poll.


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