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Posted by: pMASTER Mar 24 2009, 17:35

I've answered 26 phone calls today, in words twenty-six calls which all were not for me but for my mother's business or for my brother. Some pretty annoying people were amongst the callers and more and more it started to piss me off. Just now I was sitting on the bowl and some of these nitwits called again and again. I'm not kidding, the telephone rang about sixty times before I even had hitched up my trousers. Ridiculously angry I jumped to the phone and screamed "Why can't I have a peaceful dump in here fucking hell!".

*hearable shock at the other end of the line*

"Uhm..."

*silence*

"This is constable Schmidt from the Aschaffenburg police departement."

And I went like " !!!"

The upshot was they wanted to notify us that someone had touched up my brother's car on a parking lot.




Very well then, folks. Unfurl your dirty laundry!

Posted by: pMASTER Mar 26 2009, 00:03

Cowards!

Posted by: Helping Hand Mar 26 2009, 00:09

Not another one o-O

Posted by: Benoist Mar 26 2009, 02:36

Alcohol induced experiences also count?

Posted by: pMASTER Mar 26 2009, 03:05

Alcohol, anger and sexual elatedness are the basic recipes for embarrassing situations!

Posted by: JynX Mar 26 2009, 03:37

Actually can't think of any, if you can see the funny side to everything that happens to you embarrasing situations just don't seem embarrasing

Posted by: pMASTER Mar 26 2009, 09:47

I can laugh at people who slip with their skateboards, too!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hYqtzTcx5Xg

Posted by: BigglesTrevor Mar 26 2009, 11:21

the last biker is hilarious. Always wear a helmit!

Posted by: LT. Drake Jackson Sep 3 2009, 03:04

Um... something dirty from me... my "bad things"... Not obviously refered to the clothes I have to wash tomorrow... Umm...

Perhaps...
Me talking to a colombian girl trough MSN, worth embarrasing, I forgot her age and Im supposed to be a 15 years old boy for some of them... for others like bigger women or something like that, 18-29 and I have write it somewhere safe away from my girlfriend who read the armedassault.info forums luking if I say or not if I have another woman... I wont leave that kind of dirty laundry here, but... (With silence voice) I have "played with fire" in the history test of today, no copy, I was doing things like I was copying when the teacher didnt look to me... XD so fun we couldnt stop laughting after class... I have had to punch myself and bite my hand like "The godfather 1" to dont laught of that when I was doing the test.

Thats my dirty laundry of today.

Posted by: Benoist Sep 3 2009, 05:15

Since we are at it:

I touch in an unapropied manner two girl friends of a friend, which I knew from just 4 days.
The worst part is that I don't remember doing it.

Posted by: Blackbuck Sep 3 2009, 13:42

You were most likely drunk... Hooray for being sober (most of the time) to remember the moments then regret you remember.

Posted by: pMASTER Sep 3 2009, 14:23

Oh well...

Posted by: Blackbuck Sep 3 2009, 15:44

Oh dear. Did Andi make a mess of himself again? D:

Posted by: pMASTER Sep 3 2009, 23:33

Nope. It's still the same old picture from that one marvelous friday with x-ray, where 110 bucks were spent on booze alone.

Posted by: Benoist Sep 4 2009, 02:35

Ah... I'll never delete that picture, it's in my HD, my back up and in a diskette. Just sitting there... waiting for the moment to shine, it's my secret weapon to take down the 4th Reich.

Ah, two another moments:
Alcohol induced: After a blackout I found myself in a taxi without money (all spend on alcohol). I was extremly paranoid and I though the guy was taking me to a shady cabin to harvest my organs. I relaxed only after I look out of the window, we were in my neighbourhood. The problem now was how the hell I'm going to pay him. I searched through my pockets and I only found 14 pesos (the fare was of 30). When we arrived I gave the last remaining bills I had and I said "Sorry man, that all I got", or I tried to say that, because It sounded more like a series of growlings. He looked at me and said: "Kid, go to sleep... Please"
After I inserted the key in the lock I was proud of myself to be able to find my home.

Non-Alcohol induced: Long time ago, before I started posting here, I had felling and I loved a girl. I had no better idea than confess my love to her, something she promptly said "No, get out". That was not the worst part, because after that I had ANOTHER of my greatests ideas, I went and tried to beat the crap of the jock she was making out. Take a guess, a skinny little guy with 14 years against a well build 18ish guy. He didn't even had to hit me, he did a move and after 5 seconds I was in the ground with his hand in my neck and my lungs empty.
And that's why now I go from whore to whore, they are easier.

Gosh, this last one is sad.

Posted by: Hornet85 Sep 4 2009, 08:36

iam 17yr old, siting on the bus home from school. (Bus is prity full)
A girl comes op to me and starts kissing me, i wher like wtf.
But shes hot so i go one and kissing her back.
After like 4min we are starting to have sex in the back of the bus.
Some one sees this and tels the driver.
The driver slams the brakes and comes running back in the bus.
He starts yelling wtf are you kids up to.
Then he takes a good look at the girl and says Mia is thats you?
Then he turns to me and say i will f*cking kill you, wtf are you doing raping my litle girl back in my bus.
Shes only 14 ffs, il call the police.

Then the girl turns and say dad iam 16 so f*ck of and get a life!
Then she kissed me and asked me to come with her home.
At that time every one in the bus wher looking at us XD

It wher realy fun going to school for the next 2years...

Posted by: LT. Drake Jackson Sep 6 2009, 05:55

Ok... something in my mind says that I dont have to believe you... anyway, that was really dirty.

My turn to move the horse in this chess game.

Long time ago... I still remember it like it was yesterday...
After a small party that ended nearly 12 o'clock becouse my friend parents were going to come, Me and some friends gone to have fun at a good club... Only I and my friend David where the only ones that werent drunk
Me becouse I dont drink, and my friend David becouse he has to drive. After party the club I me and David where leaving the buddys at home, only one left without counting me... We passed near the house of a bad arse foe of mine...
I said to David:
Hey stop the car for a minute can you?
David: yes for shore but what you going to do?
When the car stoped, I go out, and start to find some stones, my friend said me to dont do it or he will leave me this time.
I didnt make case to him, picked up some stones and trowed them to the bastard's house, obviously, some windows got broken by that attack, the car of my friend gone, and me alone now...
Good! and the worst of all, I heard that a police car was getting near, saw it, s**t! gone running!
I have jumped about two fences of houses, gone inside a back garden of one house, and finally got bitten by my neightbour's dog, who didnt recognised me... I have runned like I have never have done it before, to avoid the police I have had to run about 17 squares (1,7 kilometers if you dont understand) to avoid the police and get inside my home after that...
Survived... And thank god my parents wherent at home!!! Otherwise a dark future whould be coming...

Posted by: NeMeSiS Sep 6 2009, 21:06

I say Too Epic to be True.

Posted by: pMASTER Sep 7 2009, 00:11

Here comes a great one.
I took part in the organization of a visit of our governor this weekend. He's also our party chief and always has quite a personal security detail with him. Anyways, we had two entrances in the conference center where the governor would deliver his speech: One for the VIPs and one for ordinary people. I had some door stewards with me to direct the people to either of the two entrances in accordance to their status. Unbeknownst to me and somehow also unbeknownst to him, one of my colleagues tried to divert the SWAT guys of the governor's security detail to the public entrance. When they commentlessly refused to do so he threatened them to stay back and called me as a reinforcement so to say, causing major stir because they didn't realize his position just as well. It wasn't before the governors arrival a few seconds later that I realized what just happened. At least all of us could laugh about that when they took their fingers off their batons and guns.

Posted by: LT. Drake Jackson Sep 15 2009, 19:05

I would like to see certain person I know from Argentina drunk and trying to make a joke to those SWAT guys but at a night club a short time ago...
(Dont worry Benoist, you arent the one).

So here is my dirty clothes.

I use to hear metal when Im with my "Metalero" friends when going to the study on morning, dark and cold mornings from the winter... Oh yes, 6:55 AM five black-dressed guys walking in group to our cells(lol I mean "high school" XD), one of us brings its celular phone with some black or Nu metal songs and while we walk we hear some music really loud, something that certain neighbours dont like at that hour.
One day (Dont remember exactly) we were walking down to study at a cold and dark night before the sun show up, somebody brought with him a http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1c6VXfcoeB0 from the anime series "death note"... We dont watch it, we think its bad total madness... but anyway the song was really good so it didnt matter too much to us... we where on the way, a cop car was near patrolling, following us from a scuare away...
When someone said "Want a good run guys? the last one buys a coke". And I said "yes! when we start?" and before I could say "Start" that "someone" took a stone and throwed it to a car, the car rear window got destroyed, cops hear the broken glass and we had to run so fast and try to avoid beeing cough by cops, thank god no one from us got coucht...

PS: Metalero is "most-kind-of" Metal adict, and before you ask, yes, the song was making somekind of crazyness on us, dont even think about asking what kind of things we have done at that moment, thats really embarrasing... lol

Posted by: SGJackson Aug 18 2010, 19:02

Hum... old topic to post on but a real one hopefully someone else will post too and this topic will come alive again

Let's see:

1) At 6 yrs old I felt CRAZY about strawberries... I went out from school and I'd just stared a long time to some strawberries from a store, the I just grabed one :S When I was 'successfully' leaving, the store owner comes to me running and grabs my arm... My heart was blewing off o.O!
So he says to me: "That ain't a good strawberry, here, have this one " and I was like WTF??!?!?! And so I ate it on the road home

2) At 8 yrs old I had a discussion with another kid... He really got angry.. Like 1 month after, it turns out that he was a friend of one of my friends, we crossed him on our way to the cyber, along with 3 other hot chicks ¬¬ :@. He saluted my friend and, Idk why, but I told him "Hey... Remember me?" (with pride), and so he trows away it's cane of coke and come right at my face o.o!
We fought really bad, so he grabs me by the neck (choking me) and puts me in the middle of the street, so that the car coming will run me over!! The car didn't realized it 'cause I was too close to it. So I reacted and I cracked this a-hole's face with my head... we managed to dogde it, then he grabs a huge rock and trows it right at my face o-O, I dodged it, and so he grabs me and trows me to the sewers entry (that day was raining and the street was full of water) and when he grabs another rock a homeless guy trows its shopping cart toward the kid, and the kid goes running to idk where... oh, yeah, he spits on me first ¬¬, and my 'good' friend leaves with him o.O
So, there I was, crying outloud in the middle of the street... no body cared. so when I went back home me and my dad went out for that kid, right when my dad steps in front of him (just to scare him) he starts crying outloud and the chicks looked eachother and walked away from him and he was there crying outloud xD!

3) When I was 10 yrs old (really, the 2-year difference btween story is real ) I didn't realize that google or internet explorer kept all the pages and words that I searched for... I was with a friend and well... we started "searching" (o.O O.o o.O O.O ), so I walked him to his house, and when I went back my dad and my brother were searching for something in the web and saw everything that I saw!!!
Then when they asked 'Who searched for this?!' I (really, not proud of myself for that) blamed my friend :S:S but actually my dad knew that he didn't do it, so he gave me the speech and all that sh*t.

4) At 11 yrs in school I put my balls in place and asked a girls if she wanted to date me (yeah, it was the fashion at that time) and I gave her a neckless... She said yes, but when I tried to put it on her neck, I just couldn't!!!! and she had to put it on herself :$:$
Then, in the next recess, she comes to me and says: "Ignacio, sorry but I have so many people asking me this, and if I say yes to you then it wouldn't be fair for the other guys... Sorry" and she gave me the neckless back. I was like "WHAT THE F*CK?!?!".

5) At 13 yrs old (actual age, a few months ago) me and 2 more pals went to the house of one of 'em, we didn't know what to do, so then, when they were entertained with PC, I found a scotch! So I started drinking it without permission (those guys tolerate everythin) so I went back in the room and said "want some?" and there was a minute of silence u.u..... "HELL YA!" they said! and we went to a chinise supermarker that belive me, the sell you ANYTHING! So we bought 3 Frizzès, 3 Dr Lemon (vodka, tequila, vodka) and we started partying like HELL! One of them were super wasted, so he starts spinnin' in a PC chair... so he hits his head REAL HARD agains a wardrove xD
And he goes on the ground lauguing alot but without moving, and so we all got on the floor and started lauguing!!
then my dad arrived, he sais "What's that smell?" and I go like "Hum... perfume! Perfume and toothpaste!" and I can't belive he bought it... the I had to go swimming and I was totally wasted... I did embarrassed myself there alot!

6 and last) 2 Days ago there was a chick that was SO hot and went to my grade (but she entered later than me), so I was CONVINCED that I will go to talk to her and ask for her mail... But when I was getting near her, I said "NO WAY!" and tried to run o.O but a pal grabbed me and trowed me at her!!
So she was looking at her phone and didn't even realized I was there! So I stared there like for a minute or 2, paralized... And her friend looks up and sees me... she went like "HOLY SH*T! WHO THE F*CK ARE YOU?!?!" And even I got scared... So she sees me and I just didn't kno what to tell her! So I did what I see in the movies.... I said "Hey, would you give me your phone number?" And she just laughed and kept staring at her phone... then she looks up again and sais "What the heck are you still doing here?!" and I said "Waiting for you to give me your phone number..." and she answered, just to get me out of there "Everybody has it, ask to one of your friends..." And well, I leaved and then sent a friend of mine that also is friend of her to get her phone.. and she successfully gave it to me

Well, I really wrote all that I considered embarrassing moments... I may've made it too long but, I really didn't want to erase

BB!

Posted by: Indigo Nov 7 2010, 19:52

When your sister yells "YOU TOOK MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY!" in front of my mother, to my best friend.