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Posted by: Elliot Carver Apr 27 2007, 09:20

lo folks,

Right, this is how it works. You come in pick up anything you want and do something with it.
*Spawns into the big white, never ending room. It has walls and a roof and is quite big. hmm i pick up a chair and sneaky sneaky up behind DaRat and break the chair over his head*
....begin

rock on,
carver

EDIT:

The guideline:

People on people. Small arms and equipment that a man could carry on a battlefield allowed. No combat vehicles, cas ect. Use of environment and prepared positions allowed. Think of it as a role-playing sort of Americas Army match with the aim of fun and some continuity, so its fun for everyone and the madness can continue creatively.

-Admin

Posted by: Wittmann Apr 27 2007, 10:58

Witty is seriously considering picking up the 'lock post' icon and beating carver with it repeatedly. What the hell is this?

Posted by: Blackscorpion Apr 27 2007, 13:46

Uh, prowrestling?

*Spawns outside the big white room, into a forest. Picks up a long, carved wooden stick and starts looking for prey.*

Posted by: D@V£ Apr 27 2007, 20:02

*Spawns 400 angry Panda bears*



*with guns*

Aw c'mon, you know, most countries give you a right to Arm Bears... or is it bear arms... one of the two.

Posted by: Old Bear Apr 27 2007, 20:33

Don't involve the bears in your disputes, they are innocent animals !

Posted by: Elliot Carver Apr 28 2007, 02:01

*pulls out duel UMPs's and dives for cover in a slowmo fest hail of bullets and tracer rebounding behind him, the clack clack of the reciever on the UMP's muffeld only by the ripping muzzle flashes dispencing its payload. clack clack .... click >< mag out... LOADING...**throws empty mag at Witty** this dude is the throwing stuff thread! A feast of text based RP and random acts of degrading violence on your fellow man! ... what you mean im insane? Last forum i was on this got over 500 pages i kid u not either!*

Posted by: Blackscorpion Apr 28 2007, 14:59

*Jumps from behind Carver, wearing composite samurai armor and wielding a katana and a Glock 18C. Runs towards Carver, preparing to strike with the katana and firing bursts with the Glock.*

Posted by: Deadeye Apr 28 2007, 15:56

*opens a door out of wood, recognises that there are SCRATCHES in the doorframe. Screams : "Oh my god...there are scratches in the doorframe". Then realises that Carver and Blackscorpy are trying to massacre each other. Dives ,pees in pants, runs away and buys some panda-bear-with-guns-ice-cream from D@ve*

Posted by: Blackscorpion Apr 28 2007, 16:15

*Puts his Glock aside for a moment, pulls an RGO fragmentation grenade out of nowhere, pulls the pin and tosses the nade towards Deadeye. Takes out the Glock again and continues towards Carver.*

Posted by: D@V£ Apr 28 2007, 20:38

*Rapples down through a nearby skylight, carrying an FN-Fal and CILLIT BANG grenades*

(Apt readers may notice that it's hard to find skylights in forests, well, this is a special forest, where skylights have been placed at various intervals throughout, allowing us to simulate this effect.)

Posted by: Elliot Carver Apr 28 2007, 20:46

*Sees the nade and spins round to the sight of Blackscorpion charging towards him. Carver camly places the UMPs on the floor. He stands, reaching up and breaking off a largish bamboo stick. He removes the excess and admires his handy work. He suddenly spins the weapon, up over his head, down by his side with ease and round finishing with it extending away from him along his arm. Carver stands, his long black hair flowing in the wind and his trench coat flapping revealing his muddy army boots he eyeballs his victim and prepares for combat...*

Posted by: Blackscorpion Apr 28 2007, 20:51

*Stops, by rather similar motion brings the katana to a standby position, and takes aim towards Carver.*

Posted by: Elliot Carver Apr 28 2007, 21:08

*Carver drops his weapon, clentches his right fist and wraps it in the plam of his left infront of him and bows, aknologing his target. With his eyes shut for a pause he awakens!*

*Turning his back Carver, using his left foot, flicks up his weapon from the ground and grabs it with his right hand as he launches himself from the rock behind him up into the air off his right foot. Arching through the air, back flipping once and twisting through 180 degrees to the left over Blackscorpion, Carver brings the stick weapon down with force towards its mark...*

((In the background music starts playing ... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2gyzBPixzKA ))

Posted by: Blackscorpion Apr 28 2007, 22:07

*For a moment distracted by the deceptious move by Carter, raises his katana to a defensive position ready to take the strike while at the same time shifting aim along the now-moving Carter and firing half-suppressive fire in full automatic.*

Or alternatively...

*Tosses HH towards Carver.*

(*puts some Rob Dougan slowbeat playing in his music player*)

Posted by: Elliot Carver Apr 28 2007, 22:48

*Carver bringing his weapon down to bare on Blackscopions blocking Katana as he completed his 180 twist landing with a forward roll. Using the momentum he rose back to his feet spinning left placing his left hand on his right sholder swinging the stick in a defencive blocking move against Blackscopions tracking firearm...*

Nb: dude sweet RP, i love doing this ... tell me anytime if your not happy with something i do, rock on

Posted by: Blackscorpion Apr 28 2007, 23:15

Well I can't actually say I'm happy with somebody waving a bamboo stick infront of my face.

Loving it.

*In order not to loose his primary firearm, quickly evades the strike while dropping the pistol hand and releasing the now-empty magazine and swiftly holstering the gun. Grips the sword with both hands and takes a classic combat stance, simultaneously trying to counter Carver's "bamboo ballerina".*

Where is everybody, lol?

Posted by: Elliot Carver Apr 28 2007, 23:36

'bamboo ballerina' rofl! I think we shall have to include the others and see what happens ^^

*Noticing D@V£ rapelling through the tree skylight, Carver Gripping the stick with both hands he moves forward, weight on his right foot, leaning in with his right sholder blocking out the Katana with the top end of the stick forward and sweeps the bottom underneith left in an attacking move...*

Posted by: Helping Hand Apr 28 2007, 23:37

QUOTE(Blackscorpion @ Apr 28 2007, 22:07)

Posted by: Blackscorpion Apr 28 2007, 23:42

*Swings the katana down, cutting off (katanas have been prooven to cut .50 BMG bullets in half) the end of the stick. Brings his armpad to counter the strike while throwing few shurikens towards HH.*

Posted by: Helping Hand Apr 28 2007, 23:43

*owie* (shurikens are ment to maime not kill remember) Good job i'm wearing a vest *ducks behind table to reload and lobs a frag out towards carver and bs*

Posted by: Elliot Carver Apr 28 2007, 23:53

woop welcome to the show HH

*Carver, watching the Katana swing down past his right arm brings the lower end of his bamboo stick past Blackscorpions armpad and over between the fighting pair down behind BS's weapon trapping it, the end of the Katana digging into the ground. Carver luches forward and nutts BS using the forward momentum to push the two over as the nade detonates a few meters behind them. Earth debris rain down on the pair as they fall to the deck...*

Posted by: Helping Hand Apr 28 2007, 23:56

*legs it to avoid sudden death and retrives his primary from the car* http://img147.imageshack.us/img147/1615/g36cropegermanyab2.jpg *Hides out of sight, starts listening to iPod killing soundtrack waiting for relli*

Posted by: Blackscorpion Apr 29 2007, 00:03

*Takes out his tanto knife, pushing aside Carter. With the other hand, throws a white phosporous grenade towards HH's car, setting it on fire.*

Posted by: Helping Hand Apr 29 2007, 00:06

*Runs toward scorpy brandishing a Wakizashi*

Posted by: Elliot Carver Apr 29 2007, 00:10

Id just like to say i think the OT forum is alive again ^^ no need to thank me hahaha

*Grabs out BS's Glock as he falls, squezing the trigger aimed at the white plume of firey phosporous. The petrol tank takes a direct hit resulting in a fireball rising into the sky setting fire to surround trees and HHs position. Twisted metal shards zip past embeding themselves in the white room off to our left. Carver, rasing an eyebrow, picks himself up off the deck and clamly picks up his stick dropping the empty glock. Brushing off his left sholder he brings the weapon down over his right knee snapping it in two. Wielding the pieces right hand recoild up by his sholder the left ready to slash out he once again eyeballs BS and waits...*

Posted by: Helping Hand Apr 29 2007, 00:16

*Gingerly gets to his feet shakes debris from hair and looks in coat for a suitable weapon*


*Finds it in the form of a x26 taser and promptly shoots carver in the googlies. Then helps scorpy to his feet and runs for dear life away from JdB*

Posted by: Elliot Carver Apr 29 2007, 00:20

*carver stands there completely unaffected..."balls of steel"*
...ok lol i dont think i can get away with that

*Carver falls, the pain overloading his nurvous system he hits the ground with a thud occasionaly twitching*

Posted by: Blackscorpion Apr 29 2007, 00:22

You know I never actually reloaded the Glock... I just holstered it. Meh lets say there was a round in the chamber.

*Tosses some shurikens towards HH again, and then towards Carver, and then pulls out his other (you really thought I wouldn't have a spare?) katana, taking a defensive battle stance once more.*

Posted by: Elliot Carver Apr 29 2007, 00:23

Rofl i like the fact that even tho im on the deck unconscious you still feel threatened enough to take up a defencive position against me

Posted by: Helping Hand Apr 29 2007, 00:24

*soundtrack kicks in. Challanges bs with a pair of Stilettos*

Posted by: Blackscorpion Apr 29 2007, 00:28

Meh was typing the answer, then got carried away and posted about 10 mins later than meant.

*Throws more shurikens towards HH*

Posted by: Helping Hand Apr 29 2007, 00:31

*Hits them with swords*. *Digs hole and retires from the evenings fighting*

Posted by: Rewan Apr 29 2007, 00:38

Drop an Atomic bomb at battlefield

end of story

Posted by: Helping Hand Apr 29 2007, 00:39

We gots a forcefield. Nothing gets in or out till one of us survives, a bit like battle royale only no colars and we bring our own "toys".

Posted by: Blackscorpion Apr 29 2007, 00:41

*Looking blatantly at HH, he sheaths both the tanto and katana. Takes his SR-3 Vikhr compact carbine from his leg holster, extends the stock and fires towards HH*

Posted by: Elliot Carver Apr 29 2007, 00:43

lols only messing buddy oh and my bad with the unloaded glock >< cheers
[edit] timeframe b4 the Rewans thermo nuke blast [/edit]

*Carver awakens. He digs the stick in his right hand into the ground and uses it to pull his wobbly body back to its stance. He rests for a moment on his right knee, pulling the two prongs from his rather sore nether region he dropped them on the floor. Rage flows through Carvers veins. Strength and power return in what seemed an instant unknown to the pair off to his right. A small leaf flutters across the path in front of him, he watches it as the wind starts to pick up. It is soon joined by a few other leaves, the trees start to swey in the wind as it gains in streangth. Carvers hair starts to wip sideways as clouds start rolling in rotating as dust and debris rotate around cavers cyclonic mahem. Lighting streaks across the sky and strikes down through carvers hands now lifted above his head the rawr of the wind masking the eletrical crackling. All that can be seen of carver are his glowing blue eyes as a tree up roots and is lifted up the twister into the sky...*

Posted by: Blackscorpion Apr 29 2007, 01:59

*Seeing that HH has atleast partially vanished and Carter, nor anyone else, is nowhere to be seen, he holsters the Vikhr again and takes off his helmet, looking up to the dark sky and letting the rain wash his face. Pulls his shemagh keep his neck warm and to cover his mouth, and collects few of his shurikens, his other katana and his Glock. Notices some minor damage on his body armor, but is too tired to even take the centerpiece off, instead finding himself a good, covered tree branch well but not too much above the ground, and climbing there. Pulls the shemagh to cover most of his head and starts to sleep...*

Posted by: Elliot Carver Apr 29 2007, 03:08

*Realising that no one else was all that impressed with his god like tantrum Carver stoped and steped out of the newly dug crater in the ground where the twister had risen. He stood for a moment, composing himself as the rain fell, dripping off the rim of the hat he was now wearing. He noticed BS up a tree looking alittle cold over to his left and thought to himself he didnt quite fancy that. He walked for a few miles west up the mountain side, the little white box room now hidden in the heavy downpour. After several hours Carver came across a small log cabin hidden by trees. The sun had set ages ago as carver stepped through the old door into the pitch black room ... suddenly the light came on and carver looked over to see a stunningly hot chick in a black bakini with long dark flowing hair next to the light switch. She slowly took off her bra and slipped into the hot tub next to the other 3 chicks already in. "what took you so long?" she said "Lets get you out those wet clothes!"*

whaaat?? im not sleeping in a tree in the rain in an RP with no rules
Untill tomorrow
Carver

Posted by: Wittmann Apr 29 2007, 03:50

Walks up behind Carver. Says 'you wanker' and swots him over the back of the head then races him to the bath. Dives into the bath and holds hand out. A scotch on the rocks is placed there.

Well isnt this much nicer than trying to kill each other

Posted by: Rewan Apr 29 2007, 09:51

*Throw an Champagne bottle over Witty who begin to drink and then shot him with Gauge .12*

Posted by: Helping Hand Apr 29 2007, 10:31

The whole point is to make it last as long as possible so killing witty isn't very smart is

Posted by: Rewan Apr 29 2007, 11:35

Who said that I was smart ?

Posted by: Blackscorpion Apr 29 2007, 11:54

Meh, I shall remind you that we've shot quite a few shots so far... plus do we have some sorta respawn?

*Wakes up at early dawn, collects his stuff and starts checking his gear of choise for the day. Takes off the slightly damaged armor centerpiece and the other external armor plates. Takes his light leather trenchcoat (similar to Gambit's coat or the one Algren wears in The Last Samurai) and ties it lightly but firmly around his waist with a belt. Packs his backpack and jumps down from the tree, and starts to follow a small trail in the woods, finally ending up at a small stream of water. Takes some water into a pot, makes a fire and starts to cook himself some rooibus tea and to roast some half-dried meat. Is just finishing his breakfast when he hears a shot from few miles away, causing him to quickly finish it and start moving towards the sound quickly but silently.*

Posted by: BigglesTrevor Apr 29 2007, 12:30

*Trevor takes pistol and shoots himself in the face as a result of not understanding this topic*

Posted by: Helping Hand Apr 29 2007, 12:55

*medipack to BT* It's a hypothetical battle to the death.

Posted by: Blackscorpion Apr 29 2007, 13:10

*Still running towards the cabin. Notices HH and without stopping, throws few shurikens at him.*

Posted by: Helping Hand Apr 29 2007, 13:30

*Hits them with the stiletto he still holds*

Posted by: Elliot Carver Apr 29 2007, 14:55

*Awakend by the sound of a shot gun blast Carver reaches under the covers and pulls out his deagle. "Nooo not again" whispers a weak female voice "i cant go again...." the female voice stoped as she passes out from exhaustion. Carver, creeping over the wooden floor peers through the keyhole of the bedroom door. He sees no sign of Rewan but he notices a small silver ball of mercury like liquid on the floor below him, it starts to move as it dissapears under the door. Carver opens the door to the main room to the mess of Wittys face all over the walls. Other bits of the silver liquid were all moving around Witty towards him. Off the walls, accross the floor and out the hot tub, up his body and rebuilt his face. Carver walks over to Witty and pokes him in the forehead "sweet trick". With that Carver finishes Wittmanns beverage, holsters the deagle and opens the door to the cabin. Glancing back in "I've got unfinished business...later Charles!" with that he vanishes into the mountian misty forest.*

[@BS i got work to do but ill reply laters, rock on buddy ^^ ]

Posted by: Blackscorpion Apr 29 2007, 15:05

WTF lol?

*Arriving at the cabin, he pulls out his katana and smashes the door in half, sending some pieces of wood inside the cabin. Upon seeing one passed out and two half dead brunettes, he gazes at the last one, "Damn" being his only though for the moment. After a like-eternity, in reality 30 seconds intimate session, he drags the women out and ties them to a tree, hanging from their legs upside down. Smells the air and notices the notable stinch of champagne-covered Carver (as a result from Rewan's bottle), and starts to run towards it after tossing a thermite and a WP grenade in the lodgecabin.*

Posted by: Rewan Apr 29 2007, 16:50

*Notice Black who is running after Carver and send bees after him*

Posted by: Old Bear Apr 29 2007, 17:12

first bears then bees ( bees = honey) it's too much

* awakes a bit irritated from siesta, slaps Rewan with a very large trout, and taking his grenade launcher sprays the vicinity with sleeping gas canisters.
Then Witty a bit dizzy, gets up from the mess he was soaking in and said " ... oh shit somebody has spoiled my new body armor and ... stole my booze, .....".*

Posted by: Blackscorpion Apr 29 2007, 18:13

*Notices the buzz and tosses yet another WP grenade behind him, burning some of them and keeping the rest away. Fires few shots towards the Frenchies with his HK417.*

Posted by: D@V£ Apr 29 2007, 18:33

*Recovers from having feet cut off*
*Leaps into action! Attacks Blackscorpy with CILLIT BANG grenade!*

Posted by: Blackscorpion Apr 29 2007, 18:53

*Turns his gun towards Dave and throws an RGO defensive grenade towards at him, while evading the Cillit Bang nade.*

Posted by: Helping Hand Apr 29 2007, 18:56

*Watches from a distance after returning with some toys. Then calls in a MOAB to erase the forest*

Posted by: D@V£ Apr 29 2007, 18:58

*Jumps out of way of Grenade; throws FN-Fal at scorpy*

Posted by: Helping Hand Apr 29 2007, 18:59

*WatchesMOAB destroy forest while listening to learn to fly on his iPod*

Posted by: Blackscorpion Apr 29 2007, 19:02

*Evades FAL and shoots towards Dave. Grenade explodes 5m away from Dave (they only have a fuse of about 2s), sending heavy shrapnels all over the place, even hitting the thrower himself.*

Posted by: Helping Hand Apr 29 2007, 19:04

*Rushes towards the stunned scorpy and peppered D@V£, grabs scorpy and shoots at dave while running*

Posted by: Blackscorpion Apr 29 2007, 19:07

*Due to wearing a Kevlar/Nomex/silk vest, the shrapnels had practically no effect and Scorpy is this still consceous. Hits HH with the rifle buttstock and starts running.*

Posted by: Helping Hand Apr 29 2007, 19:08

*gets up and peppers bs in the back one of the glocks and a FN57*

Posted by: Blackscorpion Apr 29 2007, 19:15

*Covers in a ditch and throws a flashbang, RGO and WP grenade at HH, then returning fire with the HK417.*

Posted by: Rewan Apr 29 2007, 19:17

*Wake up and then fire with M249 on Scorpy and HH*

Posted by: Helping Hand Apr 29 2007, 19:17

*Gets blown serveral metres across the open ground and crawls into a hole regaining sight and hearing.*

-----

QUOTE(Rewan @ Apr 29 2007, 19:17)

Posted by: Blackscorpion Apr 29 2007, 19:20

*Tosses a thermite grenade and few WP nades towards holed HH, and starts suppressive sniping towards Rewan.*

Posted by: Helping Hand Apr 29 2007, 19:22

*runs while putting on respirator/rebreather. then checks self for damage and puts tac vest on and loads up with gear*

Posted by: Blackscorpion Apr 29 2007, 19:24

*Gets his Glock and Vikhr ready for defense, keeps shooting at Rewan*

Posted by: da rat Apr 29 2007, 19:24

What the HELL!? Was I in a coma or something? I woke up in some big white room, littered with bloodstains, scratches, piss-and-shit-stains and assorted other messeries!

*builds an insurmountable fortress comprised of old CRT monitors, IT technicians and matchsticks (see below for detailed diagram) and prepares to wait until such a time as this conflict passes*

Posted by: Helping Hand Apr 29 2007, 19:25

*picks up his 36 and concentrates on rewan {breathe in, breath out, fire} rewan drops to the ground a lifeless corpse. then goes to da rat being a fellow brit and asks for sanctitude*

Posted by: Blackscorpion Apr 29 2007, 19:30

*Seeing that Rewan falls on the ground and HH is not to be seen, check quickly for any damage and then heads towards Da Rat's fortress*

Posted by: da rat Apr 29 2007, 19:35

HH, BS, come on in! The BBQ's almost ready. How's fried rat sound?

*fries a rat, throws it over the wall and waits for an explosion*

HH, you can use the ramparts to snipe from, just be careful not to slip on a match, it could be disasterous

Posted by: D@V£ Apr 29 2007, 19:35

*Recovers from Explosion, looks around, grabs piece of shrapnal, and eats it, regaining strength!*

*Looks around, grabs FN-Fal and empties magazine in Scorpy's general direction*

Posted by: Helping Hand Apr 29 2007, 19:36

*looks for dave through the scope of the 36, finds him and shoots at him scaring him off*

Posted by: da rat Apr 29 2007, 19:38

*deploys thousands upon thousands of rats from a trap door at the foot of the wall, who clamber over D@VE and eat him alive*

Posted by: Helping Hand Apr 29 2007, 19:40

To bad we have respawn he'll be back :| *Settles down to clean the 36 and do a gear check*

Posted by: D@V£ Apr 29 2007, 19:41

*Causes the rats to have indigestions. All the rats are sick simultainiously and I reform; a la terminator.*

*Eats the rats. +5hp*

*Enters trap door and prepare to destroy RATMAN!*

Posted by: da rat Apr 29 2007, 19:43

The trap door is a one way street!

*D@VE arrested by the Heddlu *

Posted by: Helping Hand Apr 29 2007, 19:43

*gets the http://img266.imageshack.us/img266/8715/fnpistolmagextkq9.jpg out at shoots D@V£ between the eyes* No welsh in the english / finnish sanctuary!

Posted by: da rat Apr 29 2007, 19:46

HH, BS, hold the fort. You can use a matchstick or an IT consultant to brace the gate if you need to. Gotta work on my Graphics project

*teleports away*

Posted by: D@V£ Apr 29 2007, 19:46

Hmm... it's a good thing I'm wearing this steel skull plate.

Yep, right here.... *tries to remove steel skull plate, only to realize he forgot to put it on today*


Feck.

*dies*

Posted by: Helping Hand Apr 29 2007, 19:52

*Calls in a MULE loaded with supplies*

Posted by: D@V£ Apr 29 2007, 19:52

*decomposes*

Posted by: Helping Hand Apr 29 2007, 20:00

*Unpacks all the gear from the MULE*

- 2000 rds of 5.56
- 400 rds of 5.7
- 5KG of Semtex
- 10x M67
- 2 x M18 Claymores
- 10 tins of Spam
- 4 packs of Fig biscuits
- HK417 with a2 style stock, AG416, 12" barrel and Scmidt & Bender scope.
- 1000 rds of 7.62
- 20 M433 HEDP and 10 M576 12"
*Eats tea (Spam and Fig biscuits) *

Posted by: Blackscorpion Apr 29 2007, 20:01

*Still outside the fortress, pulls some Semtex out of one of his bags, and attaches it to the wall of the fortress, along with the detonators. Rigs few thermite and WP grenades to go off at the explosion, sets the timer to 15 secs and starts running like mad away from the fortress.*

Posted by: Helping Hand Apr 29 2007, 20:03

*Watches the explosion while chowing down on spam*

Posted by: Elliot Carver Apr 29 2007, 20:03

*Carver stops running. He realises that hes run abit far and that his targets have fled. He looks down at the white room but fails to see anyone. He pulls out his Binos and looks but there isnt anyone around. Unable to snipe at anything outside Carver decides to improve his view. He rolls over and takes the mortar tube off his back. Sets it up and zeros it in on the roof of the white room. 'phoooph' *loads* 'phoooph' *loads* 'phoooph' *loads* the first salvo on its way to the target Carver rolls back and looks through the scope of his L96 set up on the intended target to snipe through...*

Posted by: D@V£ Apr 29 2007, 20:07

*Comes back from the dead as a zombie. Sneaks up behind behind Mark*

Posted by: Helping Hand Apr 29 2007, 20:09

*turns and shoots the m576 buck he has loaded in the 417 at dave's head taking it claen off*

Posted by: Blackscorpion Apr 29 2007, 20:09

*Briefly enjoys the fireworks, and then scans his surroundings. Hears a series of explosions about half a mile off his location. Notices HH with a blue SPAM can, and takes out his HK417 again.*

Posted by: Helping Hand Apr 29 2007, 20:11

*picks up the spam can and runs and eats. sees carver on a distant hill because of the glint of his scope* *launches an m433 in his direction*

Posted by: Elliot Carver Apr 29 2007, 20:13

*The first salvo of mortars land short *thud* *thud* *thud* blowing the door to the white room off its mounts. Carver looking in through the door with his scope takes aim and fires blowing a large chunk of D@v£s left torso across HH the shot ringing out across the mountain side*

NB: have you seen the anims on the BWMods new vid?

Posted by: D@V£ Apr 29 2007, 20:13

*Secretly content that the buckshot has nearly certainly spattered infected blood into Mark's Spam*

*Wishes he remebers not to continually type out secrets*

Posted by: Helping Hand Apr 29 2007, 20:15

Can't say I have must check.

*M433 hits severl feet away from carver felling a tree which pins him to the ground. Mark heads to carver bradishing a stiletto nad promptly stabs him in the arse and walks off leaving the stiletto in place having broken the hilt*

I'm immune to all viruses like that be it the t virus or RAGE or whatever.

Posted by: Elliot Carver Apr 29 2007, 20:20

What is it with you and damaging my lower region?

*remembering the rather painful tazer shot Carver again rolls around in alot of pain, the stiletto end poking out his left buttock. He reaches over and picks up a primed mortar and lobs it over in the direction of HH before crawling on his elbos into a bush to recover the hilt ><*

Posted by: Helping Hand Apr 29 2007, 20:22

*hearing the incoming mortar round mark dives covering his head letting his LVL IV vest take the damage*

Posted by: Blackscorpion Apr 29 2007, 20:22

*Seeing HH at the distance, quickly changes the carbine barrel of his HK417 to the very long 24" DMR barrel, loads up the rifle with solid boattails and starts shooting.*

Posted by: Helping Hand Apr 29 2007, 20:25

*considering a mortar round just hit mark crawls into the hole left with grazings on his ass cheeks from the 7.62. he grabs carver's L96 and fires at scorpy's crotch*

Posted by: Elliot Carver Apr 29 2007, 20:26

*having recovered the hilt from his arse Carver put it in on of the free pockets on his south african assault vest. He stands noticing HH in his hole to his right he charges across the small tree lineed grassy area and rugby tackles Mark*

Posted by: Helping Hand Apr 29 2007, 20:27

*grapples with carver and mages to pull out the other stiletto and thrusts it between carvers ribs. carver collapses on mark. then curses ive his grazed buttocks*

Posted by: Elliot Carver Apr 29 2007, 20:30

*He rolls over as another shot from BS zips feet over their heads. "Those shots are really in keeping with his name sake huh Mark? " said carver. "want a rollie?"*

edit: 100th post in this thread! thats got to be a record for this forum...100 posts in 24h since posting ^^

Posted by: Blackscorpion Apr 29 2007, 20:31

*Luckily, having not removed all of his armor plates, the bullet hits the crotch plate, shattering it and sending small pieces of both the plate and the bullet flying all over. While feeling lucky not to loose his "treasure", falls on the ground with a big, painly grin on his face.*

Posted by: Helping Hand Apr 29 2007, 20:32

Shouldn'y ye be gasping for breath with that http://www.trueswords.com/images/prod/c/TS-KSTLMNST18_540.jpg embedded between ya lungs?

Posted by: Elliot Carver Apr 29 2007, 20:33

rofl ... *and grasps...wheeze... for breath....cough.... while saying it*
"you can have that stiletto back now if ya like since im offering you a smoke"

edit: thats not a stiletto! http://z.about.com/d/shoes/1/0/0/N/sexy_stiletto_sandals.jpg this is a stiletto - i honestly thought you were meaning these lol

Posted by: Helping Hand Apr 29 2007, 20:35

*Gets up gasping for breath after the encounter with carver and walks off taking carvers equipment leaving carver a first aid kit. while walking off he sees dave and what appears to be a dalek*

Posted by: Elliot Carver Apr 29 2007, 20:37

*Carver unready to be beaten pulls out his deagle from the cabin and puts a shot just left of HH's ear*

Posted by: Blackscorpion Apr 29 2007, 20:37

*Feeling quite furious and still in pain, takes some amfetamine from his pocket, eats them and starts to feel better almost instantly. Unwraps an RShG-1 thermobaric rocket launcher from the top of his backpack, prepares it and shoots it at a parabelic track towards HH and Carver.*

Posted by: Helping Hand Apr 29 2007, 20:41

*turns to carver thinking how ungratefull he his for the medikit and unholsters an MP9 emptying a burst into carvers lower body as the thermo hits mark gets sent flying by the shockwave into a tree and falls to the ground smouldering*

Posted by: Elliot Carver Apr 29 2007, 20:46

*Luck with Carver the hole saved him from a death as HH seemed to take most of the hit. Using the medkit carvers life bar gained a bit of HP. He dragged himself up to the l96 lying on the floor next to a smoldering HH and took aim, zooming in on BS. He scoped to the left slightly pulling the trigger he hits the ammo pouch of the RShG-1. BS is engulfed in a huge explosive fireball that knocks in half the white room as it rises in a small mushroom shape skywards...with that Carver collapses on the butt, lifeless.*

lols we all get to repsawn ^^

dudes ill brb in about an hour - tv is calling me futurama ftw!

Posted by: Helping Hand Apr 29 2007, 20:48

*stands up and hobbles to the MULE, grabs the x26 shoots carver in the crotch to stop him following me only to realise he's dead and walks away leaving carver with with a pair of glocks crossed across his chest*

Posted by: Blackscorpion Apr 29 2007, 20:55

I'd prefer to be in the forrest, not in a white room... plus the RShG-1 is a sealed tube, like M136/AT4. But oh well...

*Spawns into the battlefield with pretty much the same gear, but more ammo and new armor.*

Posted by: D@V£ Apr 29 2007, 20:55

*Comes forth with Dalek Minions*

What? Didn't you know Dave was shorthand for Davros?

EX-TER-MIN-ATE!!

Posted by: Helping Hand Apr 29 2007, 20:57

*Fears for his life and takes a small sperical object from his pocket then throws it to D@VE then runs*

Posted by: D@V£ Apr 29 2007, 21:00

*Hits sphere with Baseball bat at Scorpy*

Posted by: Helping Hand Apr 29 2007, 21:01

*The sphere explodes in a bright blue amience The daleks suddenly explode and D@VE is returnedto his human state*

Posted by: Blackscorpion Apr 29 2007, 21:02

*Throws the small object with a shuriken. Then takes out more Semtex and throws it around with short fuses, the explosions forming sort of a trench between the Daleks and him. Takes HK417 and shoots Dave, aiming at the head.*

Posted by: D@V£ Apr 29 2007, 21:04

Curses...

Oh well...

*Takes bottle out of pocket and drinks*

Mmmmmmmm! Toilet Duck!

*Throws empty bottle over shoulder and dives into nearby foxhole*

Posted by: Blackscorpion Apr 29 2007, 21:07

*Throws a Model 308-1 Napalm grenade at Dave.*

Off to play FDF, probs.

Posted by: Helping Hand Apr 29 2007, 21:08

*standing foxhole behind dave with the fabram pointing at dave wonders what effect the toilet duck will have *

Posted by: D@V£ Apr 29 2007, 21:11

*Dives*

Oh Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
ii-

[intermission]

-iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip!

*Lands on top of passing lorry and makes escape*

Mwahahahaha!!!

I shall return! :devil:

Posted by: Blackscorpion Apr 29 2007, 21:13

*Takes a SMAW out of his backpack, loads it with an HEDP round and shoots at Dave's lorry, blowing it up and resulting a big grin at his face.*

Posted by: D@V£ Apr 29 2007, 21:15

*Is saved by suddenly jumping at the precise moment and landing on his cruiseship 10 miles away*

Tally-ho!

(Didn't you say you where leaving? )

Posted by: Helping Hand Apr 29 2007, 21:16

*jams to bob marley*

Posted by: Blackscorpion Apr 29 2007, 21:22

Nah, waiting for mission to end. Plus I'd say 10 mile jumps are against the rules (yees, we do have SOME rules I'd expect!), eh?

*Hears music and turns around seeing HH jamming. WHile feeling tempted to jam with him, takes his bow, sending a titanium-tipped arrow right through his elbow. "Damn, missed".*

Posted by: Helping Hand Apr 29 2007, 21:26

*feck, balls, poo owwie with good arm shoots bs in the crotch with the x26 and administers first aid to arm*

Posted by: Blackscorpion Apr 29 2007, 22:02

You forgot I'm still wearing the armor plate. Which is non-conductive.

*Looks plainly at HH, and cuts the wires. Takes another arrow, with a big cutting head, and sends it flying, now aimed at HH's other arm. "What're you gonna do, bleed on me?"*

Posted by: D@V£ Apr 29 2007, 23:07

*Cunning smirks, in the knowledge that now Blackscorpy has been infected by Mark, who was infected by me earlier when he spattered my blood in his spam*

*Drinks a Martini and plays some mini-golf*

Posted by: Blackscorpion Apr 29 2007, 23:10

*Cuts Dave's golfball in half with his arrows. Then sends a flaming arrow towards Dave himself.*

Posted by: Helping Hand Apr 29 2007, 23:33

*respawns*

*Using NVG to find him HH Aims at scorpy with a flaregun and shoots scorpy in the face with it. he then runs from the evenings fighting and hides in the remains of the woods*

Posted by: Blackscorpion Apr 29 2007, 23:42

How can you respawn if you're not dead?

*Puts the bow away, switches to Vikhr. TAK-TAK-TAK-TAK. Goes back to his tree and starts sleeping again.*

Posted by: da rat Apr 29 2007, 23:44

*constructs 2 cabins and a catflap inside fort*

*sleeps*

Posted by: Elliot Carver Apr 30 2007, 00:03

*respawns up near the smouldering remains of the log cabin...Carver looked down onto the dark mountain side below. Wood smoke filled the vally as flames licked up from the remaining side of the white room. A white glow off to the right could be seen as the flare stuck in BSs face fizzled out. Enjoying a fresh trench coat and new deagles Carver walked over to the old remains of a previous spawn of BS. He reached down and pulled from the body the Katana that he had fought against the day before. Carver slipping it in the holder on his back was glad that it wasnt raining tonight. He turned and walked back into the respawned log cabin, stepping into the dark...suddenly a light came on. A blonde girl, topless with pigtales was stood at the lightswitch. "I could get used to this" said carver as he walked towards the tub...*

Posted by: Rewan Apr 30 2007, 00:05

*respawn on a tree near fortress, and call an Satellital Bombing on "Darat's Fortress"

A big laser blast the base, then hide in a secret cave that no one will discover !*

Posted by: Elliot Carver Apr 30 2007, 00:14

*Green light floods in through the cabin windows for a second. Carvers like wtf was that? 0_o He goes to get out the tub but the redhead grabs his hand. "Its just a Satellital Bombing" she says. Carver thinks for a second then sits back down again. After all these girls should know...they are billionare supermodel scientists! *

[next carver replay = 18:30pm GMT 1/5/07]

Posted by: Rewan Apr 30 2007, 00:20

*Get out of his hole 'cuz he see Bear spoiling around and get to a new one that no one will ever repel me*

Posted by: Old Bear Apr 30 2007, 00:20

*"Hey, son it's my secret cave, and my time for a little nap" ... expels Rewan from the Holy Hole, throwing after him canned trout tins.*

Posted by: Rewan Apr 30 2007, 00:24

*Call for a Satellital Bombing on Bear hideout and then teleport himself with a cheat on a little island far far away in "Forget Me World"*

Posted by: Old Bear Apr 30 2007, 00:48

*look around at the whole mess around, a big crater, lots of bits and pieces, used weapons and ammo boxs, pools of blood, soaked bandages, a burning truck , smoking remains of two cabins and a fort made of disused computers.
A guy with a scorched face and burned hair runs carrying a nice shapped blonde on his shoulders ... nice bouncing view, four or five torn, blooding guys are running after him throwing curses and howls.*

Posted by: Blackscorpion Apr 30 2007, 07:26

*Is awakened by noises from the cabin. Takes his SMAW and loads it with a thermobaric round, while loading a WP round to his grenade rifle. Fires the WP round through a window, and shortly after sends the SMAW warhead on its way. BOOOM the cabin suddenly has a huge bit missing, and the rest is on fire.*

I prefer brunettes.

Posted by: Helping Hand Apr 30 2007, 11:29

Brunettes and redheads FTW. *Yawn, what'd i miss? Wakes up to find the area in ruins. Finds rewan and shoots him in the crotch with the x26 then picks him up and buries him*

Posted by: Blackscorpion Apr 30 2007, 11:32

*Revenges the flare by shooting a WP nade with his M79 at HH's crotch.*

Posted by: Helping Hand Apr 30 2007, 14:14

*keels over and roles over in pain from the impact allthough the plate stopped the damage to a certain extent*

Posted by: Blackscorpion Apr 30 2007, 14:34

*Load a thermite grenade and shoots it, then a WP grenade, and then switches back to SMAW and TB round. Fooooosh... Ka-BOOM!*

Posted by: Helping Hand Apr 30 2007, 14:39

Thats just downright mean! *having recovered from the first nade he roles into one of the field's many craters and lobs a pair of HG85s over his shoulders*

Posted by: Blackscorpion Apr 30 2007, 15:17

*Shoots a time-delayed thermobaric round over the field and quickly covers behind the branches.*

Posted by: Helping Hand Apr 30 2007, 15:20

*yells oh f*ck and covers him self in a fire retardent blanket*

Posted by: Blackscorpion Apr 30 2007, 15:24

*Seeing the overpressure created by the TB round missed a bit, switches to bow. Takes a bit of Semtex from his bag, wraps it around the small-headed (lighter) arrow and puts a small timer in. Sets a very short time delay and shoots at HH's hole.*

Posted by: Helping Hand Apr 30 2007, 15:27

*yells several german expletives and dies*

Posted by: D@V£ Apr 30 2007, 15:27

*Happily content that is a good few miles away from combat. Suddenly realizes that he forgot to hire a captain and ship has been running across ground for the last few hours.*

*Jumps overboard and uses a portable black hole I rushed out and bought to redirect scorpy's arrow back at himself*

Posted by: Helping Hand Apr 30 2007, 15:38

*respawns on the edge of the battle field clad from head to toe with gear*

Posted by: Rewan Apr 30 2007, 17:30

*respawn near HH and then catch his crotch with fishing rod and then send the croch far away, finnaly go over the mess forgeting HH who is crying on ground* $

Posted by: Helping Hand Apr 30 2007, 18:33

You do know that the crotch is the whole area around your genitals don't you rewan?

Posted by: D@V£ Apr 30 2007, 19:37

Well, he's not that old

*Throws black hole over shoulder and draws Rapier from sheath*

Avast Ye!! Arrr!

Posted by: Helping Hand Apr 30 2007, 19:48

*Thinks WTF and pulls out his Wakizashi (Medium length Japanese Sword) and Runs toward D@VE but trips sending the sword flying hiting D@V£ in the leg*

Posted by: D@V£ Apr 30 2007, 19:49

Arrrr!!! -gh!

*removes legs and replaces with a pegleg I rushed out and brought*

*Opens fire with Musket*

Posted by: Helping Hand Apr 30 2007, 19:53

*Seeing how inaccurate the musket was mark stands up takes out raiseshis FN57 and fires down the barrel of the musket from point blank rendering it uselessexcept for the purpose of a club. D@V£ then hits me with it*

Posted by: Helping Hand Apr 30 2007, 19:54

Huh wtf ?

Posted by: D@V£ Apr 30 2007, 19:55

*Why yes I do*

Yarrrr!!

*Begins reloading Musket*

Posted by: Helping Hand Apr 30 2007, 19:58

*stumbles to feet with bruised head and snacks D@V£ with the butt of the 57 and punches him in the nose*

Posted by: D@V£ Apr 30 2007, 19:59

*Sets parrot on ye!*

Arrrrr!!!

*Continues reloading musket*

Posted by: Helping Hand Apr 30 2007, 20:00

*beats parrot to the ground and promptly shoots it with the 57 then again beats D@V£ with the 57 to no avail then un holsters the x26 taser and shoots him in the nose*

Posted by: D@V£ Apr 30 2007, 20:00

Argh! My Nose!

*Finishes reloading musket and fires again*

Posted by: Helping Hand Apr 30 2007, 20:03

*misses again from <10M. Mark waves cookie at D@V£ and throws off a cliff*

Posted by: D@V£ Apr 30 2007, 20:04

A pox on you!!!

*dives of Cliff into certain death*

*Remebers on way down that git Galilio found out I'd never be able to catch the cookie, shoots self in head with grief... well... Musket*

Posted by: Helping Hand Apr 30 2007, 20:05

*peers over the edge and sees D@V£ splashed liberally over the place*

Posted by: Blackscorpion Apr 30 2007, 20:33

*Sneaks up behind HH and pushes him off the cliff.*

Posted by: da rat Apr 30 2007, 20:35

*sneaks up behind da rat and pushes him over the cliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiff..... splat*

Posted by: Blackscorpion Apr 30 2007, 20:37

*Watches after Da Rat, fairly stunned, takes another WP grenade, takes the pin off and tosses it towards the 3 guys. Sighs and walks away.*

Posted by: D@V£ Apr 30 2007, 22:01

*Returns with Tiger II Tank*

*Brings gun to bear on Scorpy and fires*

Let's see you work your way out of this one

*Drives off into sunset!*

Posted by: Rewan Apr 30 2007, 23:33

*Call an AirStrike on D@ve pos, the place is bombed by a B-52 armed with 84 Mk82*

Posted by: D@V£ Apr 30 2007, 23:40

Mwah! Luckily in the time the Airstrike will take to arrive I will be able to drive at a rather slow speed into a rather large dugout. :evil:

*Brings gun to bear on Rewan and opens fire, following with a burst from the MG*

Posted by: Helping Hand May 1 2007, 07:34

*Having respawned again mark runs to the back of the tiger and plants a pair of 10KG satchels charges on the engine and turret ring and then retreats behind the berm / dugout and blows the tiger 2 to the next dimension*

Posted by: Wittmann May 1 2007, 10:54

Walks by D@VE and HH. Stops for a second, swigs a replacement stubby of Crown Lager he has acquired. Shakes head and walks off to find a pub. Drops a Kukri between to two on the way to reignite the squabble over a weapon.

Posted by: Old Bear May 1 2007, 13:19

*making some flintstone arrow heads with his special pebble. Having got a glimpse Witty on his way to pub, put arrow heads in leather pouch, throw some medecine powder on grisly remains at the foot of cliff, singing softly a spell : "ArmArmArmArmA".
Then run after Witty howling : "hey boy, let's have one drink together !".*

Posted by: Rewan May 1 2007, 13:20

*respawn, take the heavy blaster and shoot BS who was approaching of Witty, then run away for prevent a WWB*

Posted by: D@V£ May 1 2007, 16:48

*jumps of out burning wreck of tank, having survived using a bombsuit which I rushed out and brought*

Hmm...

*Looks up at B52*

Ah yes.

*Prepares for imminent death*

Posted by: Helping Hand May 1 2007, 17:25

*Joins witty in the pub for a drink*

Posted by: Blackscorpion May 1 2007, 17:56

As I wasn't after Witty, Rewan never shot me in the first place. But he calls his father "Bull Shit" instead?

*Emerges from a bush nearby the pub and takes aim with M79. DUM, ta-clack, DUM, the pub is filled with WP... and on fire, with bottles of various alcohol mixtures blowing up inside.*

Posted by: Helping Hand May 1 2007, 18:02

*Drags an unconscious witty out of the burning pub clutching an mp9 in his other hand and sprays in the direction of thefleeing scorpy*

Posted by: Blackscorpion May 1 2007, 18:06

*Loads the M79 with HE-Frag grenade and shoots towards HH from 300m. Rinse, repeat.*

Posted by: Helping Hand May 1 2007, 18:20

*Uses witty as a human shield. shoulders the 416 and shoots at scorpy hitting the M79*

Posted by: Blackscorpion May 1 2007, 19:01

*M79 flies off, but is undamaged. Switches to HK417 and starts shooting at HH through Witty.*

Posted by: Helping Hand May 1 2007, 20:11

*Witty turns to swiss cheese. Mark discards the corpse and returns fire with the AG-416 loaded with an M1060*

Posted by: Blackscorpion May 1 2007, 20:16

*Takes careful but quick aim and blows up the round mid-air. "It's just a very small clay disc!"*

Posted by: Helping Hand May 1 2007, 20:17

*screams to BS that D@V£ is behind him. BS turns and mark launches another M1060 then runs away*

Posted by: Blackscorpion May 1 2007, 20:24

*Dives for cover, and after the grenade (unharmlessly) explodes, takes M79 and shoots at HH.*

Posted by: Helping Hand May 1 2007, 20:33

*Nade fails to explode*

Posted by: Blackscorpion May 1 2007, 21:26

*Nade hits HH to his right leg. Switches to HK417 and starts shooting through his 5x ACOG.*

Posted by: Helping Hand May 1 2007, 21:54

*goes prone making a harder target and aims at scorpy with carver's captured l96 firing at his now depledted crotch plate*

Posted by: Blackscorpion May 2 2007, 16:21

Uhhh... I'm behind cover, what're you gonna do, use a bunker buster... bullet?

*Annoyed by Mark's dirtshooting, aims at his head and pulls the trigger.*

Posted by: Elliot Carver May 2 2007, 17:30

*meh im a seagul* got to restart (my excuse for having a social life atm rofl)

Posted by: Helping Hand May 2 2007, 17:38

*dies*

Posted by: Red Square Monkey May 2 2007, 19:59

*drops by and says "hai guyz icecreamz for evrybody" and runs off again*

Posted by: D@V£ May 2 2007, 20:46

*Jumps out from behind Blackscorpy and runs after RSM, intent on stealing his icecreams!*

Posted by: Helping Hand May 2 2007, 21:33

*respawns ahead of RSM and says hi seeing him sprinting at full pelt away from D@V£ and promptly trips D@V£ up ^^*

Posted by: da rat May 2 2007, 21:37

FORM OF A COW!! [echo]cow cow cow cow....[/echo]

*Fills glasses aplenty for the beleaguered warriors*

Posted by: Helping Hand May 2 2007, 21:49

*enjoys glass of milk and pins D@V£ to the ground to stop hi sodimising the moo moo*

Posted by: Blackscorpion May 3 2007, 17:41

*With everybody chasing RSM or otherwise concentrating on milk, jumps up from bushes and throws shurikens and RGN grenades at everyone. After the way is... clear, picks up a glass, fills it with milk, drinks it and goes back into the forest.*

Posted by: Helping Hand May 3 2007, 17:53

*Sad that the nade broke his glass of milk HH retreats to the forest to engage in a deadly game of cat and mouse most likely with him as the mouse*

Posted by: da rat May 3 2007, 18:31

T3H M1LKI WAS T3H P01ZONN1!!!!1!!1!!


I R WINNAR!

Posted by: Helping Hand May 3 2007, 19:05

*You tried to kill me :| takes out his 57 and walks to da rat levels the gun and shoots him between the eyes then keels over in pain*

Posted by: Blackscorpion May 3 2007, 20:21

*Rises from behind the bushes with a bow, but seeing HH on the ground with a painful "grin" on his face... just shoots at his crotch with a flaming arrow, whistling "Great Balls of Fire". Goes back to forest.*

Posted by: Elliot Carver May 3 2007, 21:24

*Carver respawns...He has been away drinking in a Pub in the far away land of Yeovil with his old buddies from wars past. He stood looking into the night sky under the trees, the shadows masking his presence. He pulls down his Nvg's and watches BS enter the forest about 50ft in front of him a little down the ridge. The smell of HH's crispy crotch drifts upward towards the moon...*

Posted by: D@V£ May 3 2007, 21:38

*Gets up and springs into action*

(I've got a great sound effect for that, awesome beyond belief... I can't really type it, but you'll have to imagine it... it is awesome.)

*Fires the Laser gun which I rushed out and brought at Carver!!!!*

Posted by: Elliot Carver May 3 2007, 21:59

*alerted to his presence by an awsome 'badoing' sound Carver throws himself left and rolls behind a tree as the laser shot decapitates the tree in which he was standing infront of. Throwing off his trench Carver moves left drawing his deagles. He sees D@V£'s shadow and opens fire....*

Posted by: Helping Hand May 3 2007, 22:51

*Awakens and walks towards scorpy's forest hel bent on killing him he takes a palm top out his pocket notes down some co ordinates and walks away*

Posted by: Elliot Carver May 3 2007, 23:37

*Carvers shots apparently missing D@V£ he changes direction and runs back deeper into the trees, grabbing his trench coat as he flashes past. After an uneventful jog for a mile or so up the Mountain Carver paused to catch his breath. He remembered the last few nights in the log cabin before BS destroyed it. Wondering if BS was jealous of his cabin feaver Carver decided to have a night like BS's and sleep up a tree. He reached up and started climbing a largish tree. Higher and higher he clambered up, through the darkness, towards the stars. He found what looked like a nice pearch about 20ft off the ground and it looked safe and secure for the night. He lent back on the tree trunk and streched out with a big yawn...*click* the stick he was streching against moved up an inch. Suddenly the branch Carver was settled on tillted up and a door opened in the trunk. Carver slid backward rapidly trying to grapple anything but it was no use. He steered himself through 180 degrees as light approached. He shot out the end of the tube rolled head over heels drawing both deagles ending up on one knee. His jaw fell to the ground...In front of him was a fantasy wonderland of rockpools, waterfalls and hundreds of scantaly clad women...Two topless blondes appeared from the sides and picked him up, smiling, they led him away asking "did you bring wood?"... *

Posted by: D@V£ May 3 2007, 23:50

(Actually it's more of a: "Hup! Twang!... Bwah" sound, but I'll let it slide )

*Follows Carver into fantasy wonderland intent on doing some Damage to their Paradise.*

It's not that envious of their perfect existance. I'm just a Sociocide

Posted by: Elliot Carver May 4 2007, 00:00

Your here to damage our paradise? Look if you have to whack something do it over there where i cant see

Posted by: Rewan May 4 2007, 15:32

*Get in the F-117, takeoff, go on warp to portal for assault the Wonderfull world !*

Posted by: D@V£ May 4 2007, 16:39

Yes! Let the invasion begin!!!

*Shots up in air a few times with FAL*

*An great army emerges from the Portal to invade the Fantasy world!!!*

Posted by: Rewan May 4 2007, 17:09

*See the D@ve army, then arm H bomb, MACH-4, Bomb launched !

Fly away !!!! *

Posted by: Red Square Monkey May 4 2007, 18:47

*drops icecream cluster bombs everywhere, intended to kill both Rewan and Dave* (OMG LIEK WHEN YOU SET THE OFP RESISTANCE TO "FRIENDLY TO NOBODY")

Posted by: Helping Hand May 4 2007, 21:06

*Anti rewan shield kicks in*

Posted by: Red Square Monkey May 4 2007, 23:44

*shield is pretty useless for cluster bombs, because the icecream bomblets will bounce over the shield *

Posted by: D@V£ May 5 2007, 12:53

*Uses STAR WARS! anti missile system and various other AWESOME LASERS to destroy the clusterbombs and nuclear missiles inflight, greatly strenghening Morale among troops*

Posted by: Wittmann May 5 2007, 13:45

Respawns. Cracks open a bottle of fine scotch, sits back to enjoy the fireworks. Has ban hammer sitting next to him so most are too afraid to disturb in case of retribution Willing to share the whiskey though.

Posted by: Rewan May 5 2007, 15:50

*Arm 8*50mm cannons of my X-152, fire at D@ve army: more of 75% of losses in the army, then escape though laser and missiles and protect witty Home against D@ve Zombies*

Posted by: Helping Hand May 5 2007, 20:00

*Sets up a deck chair by Witty and cracks open a bottle of Kalashnikov Vodka and speaks to witty about using the ban hammer towards Rewan*

Posted by: D@V£ May 5 2007, 20:15

*Looks at Rewan puzzlically, wondering why he's wasting his ammo on those zombies, when his army is in fact the Vikings*

*Pulls out comically large revolver and shoots Rewan in the head.*

*Five times.*

Posted by: Rewan May 5 2007, 20:20

*D@ve forget that my canopy cannot be destroyed with a revolver ! Attack Vikings then eject and sleep*

Posted by: Helping Hand May 5 2007, 20:22

Rewan why can't you just be sensible like the rest of us I.E. stop with all the 1337 crap.


That is all.

Posted by: Blackscorpion May 5 2007, 22:34

*Loads incendiary round to his HK417 and shoots at HH's vodka bottle, setting the liquid in fire. Takes bow and shoots a titanium tipped arrow through Witty's head. Comes to both, picks up the whisky bottle and puts it in his backpack. Goes back to forest.*

I'm pretty much a non-alcoholic, but respecting most Scottish stuff, I wont waste a whisky bottle.

Posted by: Helping Hand May 5 2007, 22:46

*Rolls on the floor to put out vodka inferno and heads to the forest into his newly prepared revetments*

Posted by: D@V£ May 6 2007, 00:03

Mwahaha! Little does Rewan realise that my Revolver was not comically sized for no reason! 480mm SABOT FTW!

*Fires last round of Comically large revolver into forest randomly and orders massive army to "go fetch"*

*Charges after Mark & Scorpy*

Posted by: Helping Hand May 6 2007, 00:06

*D@V£'s army marches right over marks revetments into the carefully palce minefield with no less than 8 claymores all aiming towards a central point one of D@V£'s grunts picks up a claymore wondering what it is as mark squeezes the clacker*

Posted by: D@V£ May 6 2007, 00:08

Heh, lucky I didn't follow them.

*Reloads Comically sized revolver and shoots at Mark*

Posted by: Helping Hand May 6 2007, 00:09

I'm in a set of revetments that you can't even see so what you shooting at?

Posted by: Blackscorpion May 6 2007, 00:11

*Jumps out of the bush with his armor and tanto blade, attacking Dave.*

Posted by: D@V£ May 6 2007, 00:11

The chip I implanted in your skull while you weren't looking and can see in the HUD of these sunglasses I rushed out and brought

*Fires a few more times in Mark's general direction*

*blocks scorpies attack with Comically sized handgun*

Posted by: Helping Hand May 6 2007, 00:12

*It's a good thing I was wearing a helmet which you implanted into which i discarded sometime ago for my other one which i rushed out and bought*

Posted by: D@V£ May 6 2007, 00:14

Curses!

*Fires comically sized revolver at Blackscorpy*

Posted by: Helping Hand May 6 2007, 00:15

Lol i'm off to play som GR with scorpy have fun with that revolver there D@V£

Posted by: Blackscorpion May 6 2007, 00:17

*With the revolver not blocking his strikes, pushes the revolver away with other hand and stabs Dave with the tanto blade.*

Posted by: D@V£ May 6 2007, 00:18

*Pulls blade from chest and cuts Scorpy's head off in final act of defiance*

*Dies of stab wound overdose*

Posted by: Lt. Earth Apple May 6 2007, 00:29

*spawning and falling asleep, wainting on oponent*

Posted by: Wittmann May 6 2007, 13:32

Meets up with HH. Greets D@VE. Decides enough is enough. Forms the 'Sod off and surrender already, your French y'know!' allaince to hunt down Rewan. Also now targeting Scorpy for not leaving the drink alone...you dont spill ones liquor without apologising or buying the next round...

Kits up with an L1A1 and waits for the others to gear up...

Posted by: Blackscorpion May 6 2007, 14:40

Who said I spilled anything? It fell upright on your lap. And use the stars!

*Stunned by Dave's ability to turn the blade off his hand, respawns and finds his decapitated body. Searches through the backpack and takes some extra ammo and the whisky bottle. Wanders around a bit, and notices Witty, HH and Dave standing in the open some distance from himself. Prepares SR-3, grenade rifle and Glocks ready for action, and takes some important items ready for use. Takes an RGO grenade, tosses it at the threesome, changes to his customized M79 and sends an WP nade on it's way. Takes cover and loads the rifle with a tungsten buckshot... and waits.*

Posted by: Wittmann May 6 2007, 14:57

After the grenade falls short the trio split and take cover. The WP explodes harmlessly behind by some 20m's or more, its apparent Scorpy is not used to this weapon. HH in his typical fashion begins firing off ridiculous quantities of ammunition to such an extent a platoon of marines was unable to replicate it later and conceded with a congratulatory 'oorah dude' to HH at a later date. Dave begins charging screaming what seems to be a horrible cacophony of swedish, viking and welsh obscenities and Witty begins laying down accurate supressing fire with the SLR. Unfortunately a second WP round lands nearby, and while it leaves the trip unharmed it has created a smokescreen that obscured Witty and HH's fire. Dave charges on. Witty swears and fixes a bayonet. HH rises, trips over a small mountain of mags and realises he has used all his primary ammo and so pulls two pistols from within his cloak. There is seriously something wrong with this dude...the two charge through the smoke and begin to follow the assault on the ears that is Dave's war cry... Blacky no doubt by this stage has found some bloody good hearing protection or else has had to flee due to an intense headache from the proximity of this fearsome individual!

Posted by: Helping Hand May 6 2007, 15:56

How many did i use?

Posted by: Blackscorpion May 6 2007, 16:00

Dude, I'm Finnish... we "received" the biggest arty concentration in the world in July 1944, and held the line. Dave is nothing compared to what my grandfathers endured...

*Hearing the guys closing, throws an RGO grenade towards the sounds. Waits few seconds (RGO has a short fuse), rises and acquires target: Dave. Sends dozen heavy tungsten balls towards him, ducks back and grabs his SR-3 while reloading the M79.*

Posted by: Helping Hand May 6 2007, 16:07

*Leads the charge. Holsters his pistols and takes off his shoulder His milkor MGL40 and starts to fire HE nades a scorpy's positon*

Posted by: Blackscorpion May 6 2007, 16:12

*Annoyed by the explosions, waits until HH needs to reload, rises and shoots few bursts at HH's crotch. Tosses yet another RGO and gets back down.*

Posted by: Helping Hand May 6 2007, 16:14

*Thats the 2nd crotch plate you've destroyed! Loads the milkor with bukshot and runs to scorpy's hole thign and pumps teh hole with 6 rounds of 40mm buck*

Posted by: Wittmann May 6 2007, 16:15

Witty checks on Dave. He is bleeding heavily and coughs up blood. 'Witty' he croaks. I lean in closer. 'Yes, my brave comrade?' I ask.
Dave chokes out with his dying breath from his perforated lungs:

'She is your f**king queen! HA!' and collapses.

Witty rises. 'Goodbye my brave Welsh companion.'

The 'corpse' mutters something rather nasty at Witty after this with a second apparent dying breath as Witty returns to battle.
HH has Scorpy pinned, or so he thinks. Scorpy relocated to a second hole. They are throwing Nades at one another's position like mad.
Witty flanks and manages to get behind Scorpy.

'Got you now!' he yells in victory.

*click*

Stoppage. Witty racks the bolt back quick as lightning and taps the magazine and Scorpy looks on stunned for a second.

*Click*

One of the shotgun pellets fired at Dave has dispersed and hit the weapon, jamming it. Witty thrusts the bayonet towards Scorpy who has had time to recover and produces a damned katana. He parries and the two are locked...stalemate.

Posted by: Helping Hand May 6 2007, 16:17

*Watches in amazement pulls out his stilettos and joins the battle*

Posted by: Blackscorpion May 6 2007, 16:17

*Seeing HH running towards him, kicks Witty back and with a powerful strike cuts his L1A1 in half. Leaps back, takes his 2nd katana and goes defensive, looking at both with a big grin.*

Posted by: Helping Hand May 6 2007, 16:19

*Holding his stilettos he realised that they are a bit shorter than a 42" katana and decides to run and find his Katana and Wakizashi*

Posted by: Blackscorpion May 6 2007, 16:32

*Almost faster than a human can see, sheats his Katanas, throws a napalm grenade between him and Witty and taks his bow. Shoots and arrow towards fleeing HH.*

Posted by: Helping Hand May 6 2007, 16:36

*The arrow hits a tree by him. He turns round looks and runs to his revetments beckoning witty*

Posted by: Wittmann May 6 2007, 16:43

Witty, now down to his secondary, draws a Colt M1911 and runs like the wind, half crouched, avoiding the small blaze where the napalm burns with the heat of a furnace. He dives into the revetment next to HH and after taking a second to get his wind back, racks the slide, chambers a round and props up ready to fire at Scorpy should he come near, knowing full well that Scorpy has got to get close if he it to hit anything with the old yet reliable Colt.

He unclips 2 frag grenades, all he has left, and hands them to HH.

Posted by: Helping Hand May 6 2007, 16:50

*Dissapears into the revetments and appears with a pair of HK417s (20" Barrel and 50rd Drum) hands one to witty and smiles thne keeps an eye out for scorpy. BTW witty we got a Gimpy too*

Posted by: Blackscorpion May 6 2007, 16:52

*Seeing both of them gone, picks his still loaded M79 and starts blasting the forest into pieces with the heavy tungsten buckshots. After some shots, drops his backpack and HK417, along with his bow. Puts on most of his "vital" armor plates. Checks his guns, puts few RGO and WP nades ready for quick pull, along with the M79 hanging on his shoulder, and takes the SR-3, extending its buttstock. Starts walking towards Witty and HH.*

Posted by: Wittmann May 6 2007, 16:52

Witty turns the safety to semi and cocks the weapon, and begins observing the front while HH settles behind the MG. Where was the little Finnish bast...aha, there. Movement. Was it him? Witty and HH duck low and wait for Blacky to walk into an area where he would have minimal cover. Then, the gun would open up...

Posted by: Helping Hand May 6 2007, 16:54

*Waits for him to come in range for grazing fire and tells witty to pen up with the Gimpy. Then carefully aims through his nightforce scope breathes in then out slwolyand squeezes the trigger aiming at scorp's head from ~200 M with AP ammunition*

Posted by: Blackscorpion May 6 2007, 16:58

*Hearing some noices nearby, quickly drops stance, loosing some hair thanks to HH's good but a tad late aim. Rolls behind a tree (I'd never fight in the open, anyways), and after diggin it up, tosses a napalm nade towards HH, followed by another 40mm buckshot.*

Posted by: Helping Hand May 6 2007, 17:09

LoL in true SF style the revetments are built to take this into account with a sloped floor. * the nade rolls to the side and down a small gap exploding napalm up into the air burning wity's clothes making him rather annoyed*

Posted by: Wittmann May 6 2007, 17:25

Well there goes a rather nice bit of my trousers. Witty sighs. They weren't cheap. Witty lets rip once again with the GPMG and sustains 2-3 second bursts intermittently, pinning Scorpy down, stopping only to change belts. The barrel of the weapon is soon glowing red. HH stops and gets a bag or marshmallows out, affixes one to a bayonet and hovers the sugary treat near the barrel. Witty slaps him over the back of the head and glares. HH sullenly goes back to firing aimed shots, sulking. Mutters 'I swear if he weren't an admin...'He drops the marshmallow bag on the floor and starts to ponder. How to get Blacky?

Posted by: Helping Hand May 6 2007, 17:27

*D@V£ apepars in the revetments and starts to eat the marshmallows. Mark smacks him on the head and tells him to attack scorpy. Mark then replaces the fudged barrel on the gimpy and switches to the milkor again, lauching m1060 thermobaric nades at scorpys pos*

Posted by: D@V£ May 6 2007, 17:29

*Grabs Flintlock Musket*

Avast ye!

*Fires musket in around about Marks Scorpies direction*

Posted by: Wittmann May 6 2007, 17:33

Dave has vanished into the wilderness to stalk Blacky, muttering something about zompocalypse and the queen...meanwhile back in the revetment the spend casings and belt links are piling up and the gun is on its ump-teenth barrel as the hours go buy. HH by this stage has plugged in an ipod and is firing to the beat while Witty fires a furst with his right hand and fetches crisps from a packet on the revetment wall with his left, humming 'Oh what a lovely war' the whole time.

Posted by: D@V£ May 6 2007, 17:34

It's coming I tells'ya!! Zombies! To the hills I say!!!

She is your Queen Dammit!

*Fires Musket at Mark Scorpy again*

Posted by: Helping Hand May 6 2007, 17:39

*gets out a broom and sweeps the casings and belt links into some baskets and tips them over the side of the wall. goes back into the armury and brings out another 2000 rounds of 7.62 a dozen or soo 40mm and an iPod for witty*

Posted by: Wittmann May 6 2007, 17:50

Witty starts listening to the doors and Cream loudly while continuing to fire like its Nineteen Sixteen and he is wearing a pickelhaube. Even when he pauses his hands and shoulders are shaking from the near constant kick of the big gun. Witty has also by this stage carved his initials in a series of trees to his front with the MG, and has cut a few down with sustained bursts. Boredom and firepower and not a healty combination.

As if to prove the point a lark alights on the stump of one of the shattered trees and begins gaily singing. A stattaco burst rips out and feathers explode around the trunk. HH stares at this sight, glances at witty, and quickly looks away, seriosuly pondering perhaps taking Witty OFF the gun.

Posted by: Helping Hand May 6 2007, 17:55

*gives witty a bottle of scotch and beckosn Da Rat into the game and his revetments*

Posted by: Wittmann May 6 2007, 18:00

Witty proceeds to bore HH to tears with slurred speech and political rants for an hour, interrupted by long bursts on the machine gun tearing up the forest, which is now beginning to resemble a first world war battleground due to the efforts of only two men... Witty eventually slurs 'G'nite Mate, schweet dreams' and collapses contently in a heap in the bottom of the position. In his sleep he throes around whimpering something about 'essays', 'evil bogans' and then calms and mutters something that sounds like 'Oh JdB...your so cuddly'

HH kicks Witty awake at this point, having overcome an urge to be sick or shoot him.

Posted by: Helping Hand May 6 2007, 18:03

*glares at witty and gives him some benzadrin*

Posted by: Linker Split May 6 2007, 18:10

take my fo'fo' and shoot at my dog which is barkin loud while i'm studing!

Posted by: Helping Hand May 6 2007, 18:11

WTF ? that doesn'y affect us *shoots at linker's area with the gimpy*

Posted by: Linker Split May 6 2007, 18:13

throw a grenade through my PC to the HH's one

Posted by: Helping Hand May 6 2007, 18:14

*kicks the nade down the slope into the hole and it goes off harming nobody but the ground. he then fires the gimpy at linker hitign him in the legs and crotch*

Posted by: Blackscorpion May 6 2007, 18:16

*Meanwhile, back on the other side, Scorpy has made himself a nice meal. Dry meat, tea, biscuits, bread and chocolate. Packs everything into his bag and goes find his backback, vanishing into the forest.*

A tad later...

*Suddenly Witty and HH see something flying towards them... the decapitated head of Dave lands between them. "He's not coming back".*

Posted by: Helping Hand May 6 2007, 18:18

*scared shitless mark blasts the had with the gimpy exploding it mid air like a clay pidgeon with extras*

Posted by: Linker Split May 6 2007, 18:22

Dave's body is in a clearing with thousands and thousands of dead soldiers... he has in one hand a little statuette...that represents the devil...

@after one week

BlackScorpion was looking for the dead body of his friend Dave... but he noticed one thing: Dave's body got a spear sticked into his chest... once arrived at the place, Scorpy saw something strange.. the spear got the signature: "Black Hawk Down MOD"
"
"strange" he thought...

Posted by: Helping Hand May 6 2007, 18:24

I'll just ignore that.

Posted by: Linker Split May 6 2007, 18:26

OT:what will you ignore????

Posted by: Wittmann May 6 2007, 19:28

Witty quickly brushes aside the idea to play football with D@VEs head and instead goes back to shooting up the forest. Run nature, run. HH keeps his eyes peeled for Blacky and also keeps watch for the most heinous of enemies.










Rewan.

Posted by: Helping Hand May 6 2007, 19:33

*Makes changes to the revetments and adds large speakers to play a killing song to. adds a pair of MG nests and a HQ so we can get some sleep in peace*

This should be a full blown war btw.

Scorpy offers a truce to me and you witty i thinks

Posted by: Blackscorpion May 6 2007, 19:39

*Taps HH to the shoulder with katana. HH turns and sees Scorpy pointing a katana towards HH, while pointing his Glock at tied up Witty. "Missed me?"*

Posted by: Helping Hand May 6 2007, 19:41

Err wth how'd you get in here *smacks him to the face and ties him up and then unties witty*

Posted by: da rat May 6 2007, 19:41

The woods aren't a very nice place to sleep. Some crazy aussie keeps chasing me
*Seeks refuge in HH's domain - I've got cookies for us all to share! (don't worry, they aren't poisoned like the milk )*

Posted by: Helping Hand May 6 2007, 19:44

*welcomes DR to his revetments and gives him the choice of a HK 417 or a Katana*

Posted by: Blackscorpion May 6 2007, 19:47

How... the hell did you manage to smack me? And well, just... try not to get distracted in combat zone. Especially when there be ninjas around.

*Cuts himself loose with a shuriken. Stunned by the fact that he wasn't ungeared, takes his SR-3, smacks both Witty and HH, and Da Rat, takes their gear and ties 'em and after making sure the cookies are safe, gets to the back, points the Gimpy at the threesome and starts eating the cookies. "Mmmm, good cookies".*

The cookies a reference to BR?

Posted by: Helping Hand May 6 2007, 19:49

*wiggles and waggles stiletto to break free then throws stiletto at scorpy hilt first so as to not hurt him takes out the x26 and shoots him in the nose. then unties witty and da rat then gets them to watch over scorpy till he stops twitching*

Posted by: da rat May 6 2007, 19:51

I knew something like this would happen!

That's why I drugged the cookies!

*watches Scorpy fall to the floor, and struggles free of the rope. Unties Witty and HH, and hands over to HH for punishment of said ninja*

EDIT: Or what he said ^, either's good

Posted by: Blackscorpion May 6 2007, 19:51

*Shocked by the taser strike, pulls the GPMG trigger, resulting no casualties but alot of blood.*

Posted by: Helping Hand May 6 2007, 19:54

it's a shame you hit dave's head not us. *Gives scorpy a drink of scotch to wake him up *

Posted by: Blackscorpion May 6 2007, 19:56

*Wakes up and punches HH to the nose, then grabs HH's taser and shoots, pulling the trigger for a while... resulting a numb HH.*

Posted by: Helping Hand May 6 2007, 19:58

The x26 only fires one thing... and i guess you hit a ceramic plate... *gets up and offers a truce*



^ revetments

Each trench except the slits have camo net roofs and the centre trench as a wooden one covered in earth.

Posted by: Blackscorpion May 6 2007, 20:04

*Thinks for a while... punches HH to the nose, resulting him going down. Says "OK then", sheats katana and offers a hand.*

Posted by: Helping Hand May 6 2007, 20:07

*cracks nose into place and shakes hands*

Posted by: da rat May 6 2007, 21:28

I found a rat in trench 3....


We eat tonight!!

*prepares BBQ*

Posted by: Helping Hand May 6 2007, 21:53

XD we got a crap load of SPAM, K-Rations, Vodka and of course Tyrells Crisps.

Posted by: Blackscorpion May 6 2007, 22:30

Dried (think of salami... but a tad less salt and fat) meat... deer, reindeer and bear, mmmmmh. And tacos, tea, some cookies and chocolate.

*Starts making Rooibus tea and tosses HH with a chocolate bar. MINT chocolate.*

Posted by: D@V£ May 6 2007, 23:27

Now, call me old fashoined, but I think I'd rather have the rat to all that stuff of Marks.

Us decaffinated decapitated heads gotta get some proper meat yaknow!

(Yeah, I'm a canivorious ghoul of sorts)

Posted by: da rat May 6 2007, 23:36

*Puts Dave's head on a low table, sits next to it and feeds rat to.. it...*

Posted by: Wittmann May 7 2007, 10:03

Witty in the meantime while the boys chat and eat like girls at a slumber party goes around and lays Claymore banks and considers the feasibility of invading Willy Wonkas factory, glorious conquest could await...or at least sending Dave to never never land to see what the screwed up Welshman would do not only to the pirates but to the entire island.

Once the Claymores are in position Witty returns tot he perimeter and readies himself on piquet with the gun.

Posted by: Helping Hand May 7 2007, 10:49

We have only to wait for rewan and he shall be ours

Posted by: Blackscorpion May 7 2007, 14:03

You call spam proper meat? Noooh, wild animals hunted straight from the nature!

*Shoots Dave's head with another 40mm buckshot. Takes his bow and disappears into the forest. Comes back dragging a wildboar.*

Posted by: D@V£ May 7 2007, 14:34

Great. Now I'm a disembodied head with no recognisable face. Just pour salt in the wound why don't you Scorpy?

Come to think of it, how am I still alive?

Posted by: Blackscorpion May 7 2007, 14:36

Dunno, HH actually used your head as a clay pigeon on the previous page, so... you had no face anyways.