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Wittmann
Posted on: May 29 2017, 07:56


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Gents, it was obvious this day was coming though given we have a nice little community with a few core members who drift in and out, I've created a discord server where the chit chat, gaming and ArmA reminiscing can continue. I'll send the link out to many of you shortly. Once connected, site staff and moderators will be given permissions and we can populate the server with those friends from this forum we remain in touch with and/or have on Steam ect.

Unfortunately changes in distribution of content to those of years past proved too difficult for site traffic to keep up. It's been a great ride, all the way from OFP.info! Thank you to the moderators and site staff, you've done a fantastic job in our busier times and you've hung around far longer than anyone would have believed. It's a testament to the strength and commitment of our core contributors in this community.
  Forum: Chatter, Word Games & Jokes · Post Preview: #83329 · Replies: 5611 · Views: 457,829

Wittmann
Posted on: Apr 18 2017, 08:25


ArmA.info Sarcasm Society's Admin Extraordinaire
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So those Turks, hey. Enjoy that.

Easter long weekend finished with a 0420 recall to duty. It's like they want me to start looking for a more cruisy job...
  Forum: Chatter, Word Games & Jokes · Post Preview: #83303 · Replies: 5611 · Views: 457,829

Wittmann
Posted on: Apr 14 2017, 03:48


ArmA.info Sarcasm Society's Admin Extraordinaire
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Happy Zombie Jebus chocolate gluttony weekend to all!

On this Good Friday I plan on consuming copious amounts of red meat and hoping that Hair Force One and Pugsly don't kick off "the big one" in Best Korea.
  Forum: Chatter, Word Games & Jokes · Post Preview: #83300 · Replies: 5611 · Views: 457,829

Wittmann
Posted on: Mar 29 2017, 07:21


ArmA.info Sarcasm Society's Admin Extraordinaire
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QUOTE(D@V£ @ Mar 29 2017, 00:33) *
...I thought you paid the bills? All these "you haven't paid your bills", "we're repossessing your house because you haven't paid your bills" and "your house was awful so we're taking your kidneys as well" letters that keep getting sent to me are all in your name.


Oh that wasn't for the website. That funded high end liquor, high end call girls for John and Andi, bribes to pay off witnesses when disposing of deceased call girls (Looking at you John!) and other projects. For instance, did you know that rhesus monkeys are highly susceptible to behavior modification if they become addicted to cocaine? Lets just say a small uninhabited island, a fuck tonne of monkeys and enough coke to make it look like a snow globe makes for way more entertainment than "Survivor" or "I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here."

News hound wise - can we get this show back on the road? We don't exactly have a community any longer. Not sure if that is a result of Armaholic competing during the ArmA II days or if the switch with ArmA III to Steam and it's own inbuilt community forums and content sharing platforms have effectively killed the ongoing relevance of sites such as this one. I suspect a factor is also that the larger modding groups for total conversions ect are finding it more difficult to create larger, total conversion mods and campaigns in the new engine or that the manpower, knowledge and willingness to do so has eroded with a focus on the larger realism mods and content for MP. I do miss the likes of CSLA, FDF, ect.
  Forum: Chatter, Word Games & Jokes · Post Preview: #83298 · Replies: 5611 · Views: 457,829

Wittmann
Posted on: Mar 28 2017, 08:10


ArmA.info Sarcasm Society's Admin Extraordinaire
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Holy fuckmuppets, you're all still alive! I gave up checking this hell hole for awhile happy.gif

Who still pays the bill around here anyway? Is some host company steadily draining out Cervo's "emergency" slush fund account?
  Forum: Chatter, Word Games & Jokes · Post Preview: #83294 · Replies: 5611 · Views: 457,829

Wittmann
Posted on: Jan 23 2017, 11:52


ArmA.info Sarcasm Society's Admin Extraordinaire
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Joined: 5-November 06
From: Canberra, Australia
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I'll bring the wine and spirits collection to the Doom Shelter. It's either going to last us several years or several days. Either way, it will be a happy apocalypse!
  Forum: Chatter, Word Games & Jokes · Post Preview: #83267 · Replies: 5611 · Views: 457,829

Wittmann
Posted on: Jan 12 2017, 12:32


ArmA.info Sarcasm Society's Admin Extraordinaire
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Happy day of birthing Andi!
  Forum: Chatter, Word Games & Jokes · Post Preview: #83262 · Replies: 5611 · Views: 457,829

Wittmann
Posted on: Jan 10 2017, 07:57


ArmA.info Sarcasm Society's Admin Extraordinaire
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From: Canberra, Australia
Member No.: 18


QUOTE(D@V£ @ Jan 9 2017, 09:55) *
Quick! Let's raid the crazy moose-people Finno-Ugrics for a few extra musical notes and chromosomes!


I can't find Blackscorpy either! ohmy.gif There is only one solution. We must travel to Bavaria and wander the streets crying "ANDI!", rattling boxes of roast pork and potatoes and waving copies of OFP. It may make him trust us and want to come home.
  Forum: Chatter, Word Games & Jokes · Post Preview: #83261 · Replies: 5611 · Views: 457,829

Wittmann
Posted on: Jan 7 2017, 08:13


ArmA.info Sarcasm Society's Admin Extraordinaire
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Stop sucking on a wurst and be sociable you grumpy German git! Or are you driving a truck filled with ampho and pork towards the Levant?
  Forum: Chatter, Word Games & Jokes · Post Preview: #83259 · Replies: 5611 · Views: 457,829

Wittmann
Posted on: Nov 28 2016, 12:32


ArmA.info Sarcasm Society's Admin Extraordinaire
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From: Canberra, Australia
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QUOTE(D@V£ @ Nov 28 2016, 08:41) *
Gee Boss, I'm sorry, I couldn't find a picture of a pig, much less a person, being spit-roasted alive.

Anyways, Bavarian Dan the Bavarian Man only asked about sexy execution ("sexecution", if you will) not about nutrition. If I knew I was going to get grilled like this over a throwaway joke I wouldn't have made it, yah humourless bastard tongue.gif


I'm pretty sure most German's find roast pork sexy, if not downright erotic. 10 points to Davidov!

  Forum: Chatter, Word Games & Jokes · Post Preview: #83233 · Replies: 5611 · Views: 457,829

Wittmann
Posted on: Nov 26 2016, 08:57


ArmA.info Sarcasm Society's Admin Extraordinaire
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Joined: 5-November 06
From: Canberra, Australia
Member No.: 18


And "I hereby solemnly denounce all prior dealings I have had with D@VE and was under the impression he was, in fact, a strange Welshman and not a tyrannical genius with the means to launch a successful coup, establishing himself as the dictator of the Isle of Wight."
  Forum: Chatter, Word Games & Jokes · Post Preview: #83224 · Replies: 5611 · Views: 457,829

Wittmann
Posted on: Nov 22 2016, 07:51


ArmA.info Sarcasm Society's Admin Extraordinaire
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From: Canberra, Australia
Member No.: 18


QUOTE(D@V£ @ Nov 21 2016, 09:01) *
Gentlemen, I bring ill news.

Earlier this evening, a not unsignificant amount of beer was... *pained sob*... "Lifted up by the Valkyries" while in service of our moderation team. This tragedy, in a time of such hardship, can not- nay, must not be taken likely. So, let us all raise our glasses, and drink to the memory of drinks lost.

Temulentus pater, Sic transit gloria arcu.



Noooooooooooooooooooo! *sobs* cry3.gif

Best have another. drunk.gif
  Forum: Chatter, Word Games & Jokes · Post Preview: #83211 · Replies: 5611 · Views: 457,829

Wittmann
Posted on: Oct 28 2016, 12:46


ArmA.info Sarcasm Society's Admin Extraordinaire
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Yet not the weirdest D@VE post of all time.
  Forum: Chatter, Word Games & Jokes · Post Preview: #83173 · Replies: 5611 · Views: 457,829

Wittmann
Posted on: Oct 10 2016, 06:49


ArmA.info Sarcasm Society's Admin Extraordinaire
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From: Canberra, Australia
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Come back to board for fortnightly check.

Last remaining bastion are engaged in a thoughtful, evidence based discussion of celebrity mammary glands and the female bust in general.

I feel I should put a stop to this or appeal to some standard or the rules... but I've lost what little remained of my admin moral compass and don't care.




Proceed.
I'm surprised the board has remained clean in general tbh.


QUOTE(JdB @ Oct 5 2016, 02:33) *
So typically German, theorizing the engineering principles of naked women rather than just enjoying the show mellow.gif

You've made my day Dutchman smile.gif
  Forum: Chatter, Word Games & Jokes · Post Preview: #83168 · Replies: 5611 · Views: 457,829

Wittmann
Posted on: Aug 22 2016, 09:01


ArmA.info Sarcasm Society's Admin Extraordinaire
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QUOTE(D@V£ @ Aug 16 2016, 23:53) *
I actually only have a debit card, I just call it a credit card so people think I'm a responsible adult, who can be trusted with money and stuff. It seems to be working! tongue.gif

Let me tell you about my bank. My bank keeps sending me letters to say they're "going green" and they're "cutting down on waste paper" by hiding my statements on their mess of a website. Of course, this doesn't stop them from sending the same goddamn advert for credit cards every fucking week! Look at our "competitive" offers! Here's how great we are with money, we can afford to send you millions of these stupid fucking colour-printed booklets with happy faced people in our bank's uniform looking happy at how great our credit card it! Wowee!

Sigh, if only there was some alternative to the follies of capitalism...



Mine does the same damn thing. So I registered for e-Statements. Which they never seemed to record as I continue to get the paper despite doing most of my banking via their internet portal...
Granted that's my only real complaint with them. They are member owned and service the police community so pretty good.

I think I may die. I've got a bad man flu this winter. Thought I escaped but no, got me in the last weeks!
  Forum: Chatter, Word Games & Jokes · Post Preview: #83136 · Replies: 5611 · Views: 457,829

Wittmann
Posted on: Aug 4 2016, 11:48


ArmA.info Sarcasm Society's Admin Extraordinaire
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Is it bad I am starting to miss Bush?
  Forum: Chatter, Word Games & Jokes · Post Preview: #83129 · Replies: 5611 · Views: 457,829

Wittmann
Posted on: Aug 3 2016, 09:20


ArmA.info Sarcasm Society's Admin Extraordinaire
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Those crazy Norwegians with their offshore oil and lutefisk.

Went and had tasty Korean food. Saw the new Ghostbusters. Kinda liked it. Good night, would do it again!

D@V1D0V, do you people seriously not do roast and gravy rolls? Usually beef or chicken involved but so good. Butter that bad boy, let the meat melt it then add gravy and pepper. If beef, throw in some onions. It's the equal of a meat pie on a winters day, though never superior to Parkers.
  Forum: Chatter, Word Games & Jokes · Post Preview: #83125 · Replies: 5611 · Views: 457,829

Wittmann
Posted on: Aug 1 2016, 08:41


ArmA.info Sarcasm Society's Admin Extraordinaire
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The answer is drink.

I could go for some roast lamb and gravy with a crusty bread roll.
  Forum: Chatter, Word Games & Jokes · Post Preview: #83119 · Replies: 5611 · Views: 457,829

Wittmann
Posted on: Jul 30 2016, 12:18


ArmA.info Sarcasm Society's Admin Extraordinaire
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QUOTE(pMASTER @ Jul 30 2016, 18:06) *
Got a fruity Rosé down there? An unlikely choice, I'll give you that, but we've come to find here it's actually the best wine to team up with both the strong pork and the soft taters.

Hurry up, Davidof. Get that teleporter going, Witty has the place all to himself. Eh, do you Ozzies have deer down there too, I mean proper red deer?


Sambar mostly and some fallow, but yes. I know a local butcher who stocks venison. Otherwise it's a half day drive to the high country hunting grounds.

Got you covered on the rose - we stock a bit of it alongside gamay. Always handy in the summer when you want a quaffable, chilled red or something light to go with seafood or spicier Tex-Mex or Italian dishes.

  Forum: Chatter, Word Games & Jokes · Post Preview: #83117 · Replies: 5611 · Views: 457,829

Wittmann
Posted on: Jul 30 2016, 08:40


ArmA.info Sarcasm Society's Admin Extraordinaire
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Since my better half is away for a weekend in the Hunter Valley visiting family I am spending the night in with roti , a homemade lamb rogan josh and more beer than I should drink - but I will anyway. Couch and TV to self, huzzah!

If only teleportation was a thing - you bring the pork and pear, I'll shout the beer and a pavlova for desert.

And I've got us covered for wine.

  Forum: Chatter, Word Games & Jokes · Post Preview: #83115 · Replies: 5611 · Views: 457,829

Wittmann
Posted on: Jul 30 2016, 06:46


ArmA.info Sarcasm Society's Admin Extraordinaire
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Give into the currywurst Andi. A diet of currywurst and Berliner Weisse to wash it down will lead to both obesity and happiness.

You Bavarian's can bring roast pork, sides and desert.
  Forum: Chatter, Word Games & Jokes · Post Preview: #83113 · Replies: 5611 · Views: 457,829

Wittmann
Posted on: Jul 29 2016, 09:43


ArmA.info Sarcasm Society's Admin Extraordinaire
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QUOTE(D@V£ @ Jul 29 2016, 09:09) *
Well, technically, we did have a lot of temples that were decorated in the Indian Fashion.

They were in India. Which we ruled. tongue.gif


Thank you for the majority of Anglo-Indian cuisine, English chutneys and tikka masala and all the trappings of empire. When it comes to nationalising a company you sure knew how to do it right. Take over a failing enterprise and BOOM several million more subjects and a sub-continent.

However - kedgeree. What the actual fuck.

It's bad and you should feel bad.
  Forum: Chatter, Word Games & Jokes · Post Preview: #83108 · Replies: 5611 · Views: 457,829

Wittmann
Posted on: Jul 28 2016, 10:24


ArmA.info Sarcasm Society's Admin Extraordinaire
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QUOTE(JdB @ Jul 27 2016, 23:27) *
And no, the crusades didn't start any problems they were merely a reaction to numerous invasions by jihadist armies of Europe starting from the early 600s. Of course no history book in school pays any attention to that since it doesn't fit the political agenda of the socialists and tree huggers of muslims being the aggressors.


You know what... can't we all just agree that back in the day stretching from the Middle Ages, right through the Reconquista, Crusades, Ottoman Invasions, Great War and suppression of tribal dissent with air power (The RAF of the 1920's - where your most dangerous adversary is a camel) we were all massive c**t's to each other with the sacking and raping and murdering and leave it at that? You stay over there with your sand and holy text from the invisible sky friend and we'll keep bacon and alcohol and put up with our own delusional believers with their predominant belief in a slightly different holy text from the same invisibly sky friend.

  Forum: Chatter, Word Games & Jokes · Post Preview: #83103 · Replies: 5611 · Views: 457,829

Wittmann
Posted on: Jul 27 2016, 13:13


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QUOTE(pMASTER @ Jul 27 2016, 10:29) *
What ever happened to the pontifices of old? I want to embark on a crusade.


That's partially how we're in this mess boppin2.gif Not that I had anything to do with the sacking and pillaging or peaceful Islamic cities in the Middle Ages and reside in a nation that was a good 600 years away from Europeans realising there was land here (Way to drop the ball Dutchies. Just leave it another century for the English to colonise. How'd Indonesia work out for you?) but hey, I'm an oppressive infidel anyway! Kill!

I'm not convinced on the whole Crusade thing personally. Leave them alone long enough and the various politically and religiously motivated groups, organisations and nations of the Middle East find a way to squabble among themselves or remember that Israel is still a thing. In fact the Israeli's are being suspiciously restrained considering the mess is almost on their doorstep. Can't they go all Six Day War or Peace for Galilee the redux? Sequels and reboots are all the rage!
  Forum: Chatter, Word Games & Jokes · Post Preview: #83095 · Replies: 5611 · Views: 457,829

Wittmann
Posted on: Jul 26 2016, 13:14


ArmA.info Sarcasm Society's Admin Extraordinaire
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I hope the Canadians are building a wall...
  Forum: Chatter, Word Games & Jokes · Post Preview: #83090 · Replies: 5611 · Views: 457,829

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