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 Dec 7 2008, 21:15
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#21
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 Gee, I wish we had one of them doomsday machines.  Group: Moderators Posts: 2,037 Joined: 13-November 06 From: Wales Member No.: 155  |
It was a Nurse!
 She explained how the events at the Crematorium had left him in a coma for 29 years, since then, the world has changed, now...
This post has been edited by D@V£: Dec 8 2008, 00:44 -------------------- The Rules - Nothing too complicated, follow these and we'll have no problems.
Moderation Feedback Thread - Tell everyone how much you Site Issues Thread - Complain about site issues here. We might even fix them! Community Chatter Thread - Furthest Mud-sling gets a free subscription to "JdB Monthly". QUOTE(Major Mike Shearer) We can categorically state that we have not released man-eating badgers into the area. QUOTE(Brace Belden) A machine gun is like a woman, I don’t understand it, I’m afraid of it, and one day I’ll accidentally be killed by one. |
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Dec 7 2008, 21:26
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#22
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 ArmA.info Sarcasm Society's Appointed Olivia Wilde Stalker Group: Moderators Posts: 1,482 Joined: 12-November 06 From: United Kingdom Member No.: 113 |
... ran up to her and humped her leg like a happy little dog...
--------------------   -------------------- Heed my words or risk being beaten with a stick then fed to my associate D@V£ The Rules - Most places have rules, these are ours Read them! Moderation Feedback Thread - Let everyone know how much you don't like D@V£ -------------------- |
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Dec 8 2008, 00:47
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#23
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Gee, I wish we had one of them doomsday machines. Group: Moderators Posts: 2,037 Joined: 13-November 06 From: Wales Member No.: 155 |
unfortunately, she was a leper, so it fell off!
CLARITY NOTE: Her leg. This post has been edited by D@V£: Dec 8 2008, 00:47 -------------------- The Rules - Nothing too complicated, follow these and we'll have no problems.
Moderation Feedback Thread - Tell everyone how much you Site Issues Thread - Complain about site issues here. We might even fix them! Community Chatter Thread - Furthest Mud-sling gets a free subscription to "JdB Monthly". QUOTE(Major Mike Shearer) We can categorically state that we have not released man-eating badgers into the area. QUOTE(Brace Belden) A machine gun is like a woman, I don’t understand it, I’m afraid of it, and one day I’ll accidentally be killed by one. |
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Dec 8 2008, 02:32
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#24
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 ArmA.info Sarcasm Society's Slightly Mad Scotsman  Group: Former .info Serviceman Posts: 718 Joined: 28-September 07 From: Glasgow, UK Member No.: 1,331 |
sadly for bob, due to the contagious nature of leprosy and his insistence not to use protection, the nurses' leg was the least of his worries now...
-------------------- Never before in the history of man, was so much buggered up by so few.
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Dec 8 2008, 03:05
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#25
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 Record Holder for the most Pornstars ever contacted  Group: Newshound Posts: 567 Joined: 12-November 06 From: Beyond the event horizon Member No.: 56 |
The next morning walking into work he was assulted by Brendan Fraser screaming "Die you porno mummy". It was at that point Bob knew he needed help...
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Dec 8 2008, 10:49
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#26
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Gee, I wish we had one of them doomsday machines. Group: Moderators Posts: 2,037 Joined: 13-November 06 From: Wales Member No.: 155 |
punching Brendan Fraser in the face, he boarded the nearest flight to Haiti, intent on finding the one man who could help him! This man is of course...
-------------------- The Rules - Nothing too complicated, follow these and we'll have no problems.
Moderation Feedback Thread - Tell everyone how much you Site Issues Thread - Complain about site issues here. We might even fix them! Community Chatter Thread - Furthest Mud-sling gets a free subscription to "JdB Monthly". QUOTE(Major Mike Shearer) We can categorically state that we have not released man-eating badgers into the area. QUOTE(Brace Belden) A machine gun is like a woman, I don’t understand it, I’m afraid of it, and one day I’ll accidentally be killed by one. |
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Dec 8 2008, 17:34
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#27
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 Senior Member Group: Members Posts: 312 Joined: 18-April 07 From: Birmingham, England Member No.: 767 |
was none other that chuck norris...
-------------------- "Our business in the field of fight, is not to question, but to prove our might." Alexander Pope
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Dec 8 2008, 18:49
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#28
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Record Holder for the most Pornstars ever contacted Group: Newshound Posts: 567 Joined: 12-November 06 From: Beyond the event horizon Member No.: 56 |
Bobs flight was delayed by a bunch of stupid eco terrorists at stansted airport so he called Chuck. Chuck replied "Chuck Norris does not travel. The world rotates until Chuck Norris is where he needs to be"...So Bob waited....
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Dec 8 2008, 19:06
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#29
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Member Group: Members Posts: 32 Joined: 15-June 08 From: Seklerburg Member No.: 3,397 |
....until Chuck didn't look, and then he jumped and grabbed Chuck's chesthair.....
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Dec 8 2008, 19:13
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#30
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Record Holder for the most Pornstars ever contacted Group: Newshound Posts: 567 Joined: 12-November 06 From: Beyond the event horizon Member No.: 56 |
hanging off Chuck Norris's chest hair he thought to himself...what the f*ck am i doing? Im covered in BEEEES! (Note the Eddie Izzard parody) then as if the story couldnt get any wierder they were both stampeaded to near death by the heard of leper, STD infected, world ruling cows...
(note also that Chuck Norris was infact completely unharmed and proceeded to eat a penguin) -------------------- |
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Dec 9 2008, 15:58
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#31
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Member Group: Members Posts: 32 Joined: 15-June 08 From: Seklerburg Member No.: 3,397 |
Then Bob stood up, and saw Chuck eating the penguin, and he wanted to join in, but Chuck kicked him in the nose, which made him fly all across the ocean, right in the middle of a flying pirate ship.
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Dec 10 2008, 19:30
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#32
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 ArmA.info Sarcasm Society's Gentleman Usher of the Banstick Group: Former .info Serviceman Posts: 1,781 Joined: 1-November 06 From: Old-Europe Member No.: 11 |
The ship was of course manned by Somali pirates who...
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Dec 10 2008, 19:38
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#33
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 ArmA.info Sarcasm Society's Beast of War Group: Site Team Posts: 547 Joined: 4-November 06 From: Marseille Member No.: 12 |
were about to start the assault on the Titanic II
-------------------- This is my totaly useless signature Lazyness = mc² |
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Dec 10 2008, 20:32
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#34
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 ArmA.info Sarcasm Society's Mr. Argentina 2012 Group: Newshound Posts: 498 Joined: 20-October 07 From: Argentina Member No.: 1,502 |
Where the human liders were negociating with the Bear Empire to remove the Mad Cows from the world goverment
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Dec 11 2008, 20:22
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#35
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Member Group: Members Posts: 32 Joined: 15-June 08 From: Seklerburg Member No.: 3,397 |
... of course, bob thinked fast, and by calculating the speed, mass and velocity of that ship with the whole earth (under 12 seconds), he started screaming like a little girl, and ran around all the ship (just like a pro would do)...
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Dec 11 2008, 22:34
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#36
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ArmA.info Sarcasm Society's Beast of War Group: Site Team Posts: 547 Joined: 4-November 06 From: Marseille Member No.: 12 |
Then bOb saw an island moving by itself:
It was Chuck Norris comming to prevent the hijack to happen, the island stopped near the Somalian ship and Chuck Norris said: "Walker Texas Ranger, please get out of the boat else I will destroy it" -------------------- This is my totaly useless signature Lazyness = mc² |
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Dec 12 2008, 23:22
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#37
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Member Group: Members Posts: 32 Joined: 15-June 08 From: Seklerburg Member No.: 3,397 |
....No-one believed Chuck about what happened, and they started to laugh... but Chuck got angry and called his padawan: Johnny Rambo the Fifth....
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Dec 15 2008, 17:53
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#38
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Record Holder for the most Pornstars ever contacted Group: Newshound Posts: 567 Joined: 12-November 06 From: Beyond the event horizon Member No.: 56 |
Chuck Norris round house kicked the boat istantly destrying it and in the process cured cancer...
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