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> The funny conversation and jokes thread, AKA: Dr Strangebloke, or, how I learned to stop worrying and love MSN
D@V£
post May 8 2008, 18:23
Post #201


Gee, I wish we had one of them doomsday machines.
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Posts: 2,037
Joined: 13-November 06
From: Wales
Member No.: 155



This thread is dying! It cannot be! ohmy.gif

Ok, so here's a joke;
QUOTE
The American, French and Russian Intelligence services are challenged to find a Rabbit in a forest.

First, the American's attempt it. They place animal informants across the woods, and set up a sophisticated satellite surveillance system.
After two weeks they conclude rabbits do not exist.

Next, the French make an attempt. They storm the woods with a large group in search of the rabbit.
After two weeks they find nothing, and burn the entire forest down just in case.

Finally, the Russians have a go. They send a small group into the forest.
After two hours they drag out a beaten bear, who screams "I'm a Rabbit! I'm a Rabbit!"


And now, the usual drunk jokes! biggrin.gif

QUOTE
What's an activity enjoyed by 4 out of 5 people?
Gang Rape (caution, sexual reference)


QUOTE
How do you stop a baby crying?
Take it's leg out of the blender


QUOTE
What's pink and orange and sits at the bottom of a swimming pool?
A baby with punctured armbands!
What's Blue, Fuzzy and floats on the top of a swimming pool?
The same baby 3 weeks later


Ah... I'm going to hell tongue.gif


And, finally, this is apparently a true story! ohmy.gif
(Wittmann found it funny, so you'd better too! tongue.gif )

QUOTE
This guy was getting married to a girl, and knew her family pretty well. The member who he was most interested in, was, undoubtedly, her younger sister.

The day before they were to be married, he was at her house alone with the sister, when the sister admitted that she secretly loves him. Anyway, after a bit of a talk the sister suggests he have sex with her. At which point, he promptly leaves the room and goes outside. Where he finds his future father-in-law, who congratulates him that he passed the past, and hopes him plenty of happiness with his future wife.

The moral of the story?
Always keep your condoms in the car!


--------------------
The Rules - Nothing too complicated, follow these and we'll have no problems.
Moderation Feedback Thread - Tell everyone how much you hate me love me secretly fear that Mark is watching you while you sleep. secretly wish that Mark is watching you while you sleep.
Site Issues Thread - Complain about site issues here. We might even fix them!
Community Chatter Thread - Furthest Mud-sling gets a free subscription to "JdB Monthly".

QUOTE(Major Mike Shearer)
We can categorically state that we have not released man-eating badgers into the area.
QUOTE(Brace Belden)
A machine gun is like a woman, I donít understand it, Iím afraid of it, and one day Iíll accidentally be killed by one.
 
Quote Post
Rellikki
post May 9 2008, 23:28
Post #202



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Group: Addon Maker
Posts: 1,148
Joined: 4-November 06
Member No.: 13



QUOTE
Rellikki says:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHg5SJYRHA0

Dave says:
f*cker!

Rellikki says:
tehehehe

Dave says:
I shall destroy you for this!


Dave Rick Roll'd weapons_owned.gif
And something else:

QUOTE
Rellikki says:
i just took a dump in a shopping bag
whacha gonna do about that? :@

Dave says:
Nothing.

Rellikki says:
oh i wouldn't be so sure :@
*puts dave's head in the bag*

Dave says:
How did you get my head?
I've been looking for that for ages :@

Rellikki says:
i bought it from the store where i got the bag too

Dave says:
Ah...
Makes sense I guess.

Rellikki says:
now :@
smell this.
*closes the bag*

Dave says:
Smells like...
Teen Spirit

Rellikki says:
oh i wouldn't be so sure :@
*throws a dead cat in the bag too*

Dave says:
Well, now it smells like victory :-O

Rellikki says:
you mean napalm? :@
napalm smells like victory

Dave says:
Yeah.

Rellikki says:
ok :@

Dave says:
Thassah stuff

Rellikki says:
but i think napalm smells like charlies' blood :@
if it smells like napalm in the bag...
there must be charlies in there! :@

Dave says:
:-O

Rellikki says:
*shoots with an MG*
it also means that we're all gonna BUUUUUUUUUUURN
AAAAH IM ON FIREEE :@

Dave says:
Yeah, that usually happens with napalm...

Rellikki says:
quick! :@ use your fire extinquisher arms to put out the napalm fire
slam the fire on it's damned head! :@

Dave says:
My arms aren't fire extinquishers... they're fire!

Rellikki says:
then use the dead cat! :@

Dave says:
'kay! :-O
*uses dead cat on fire*

Rellikki says:
fried cat? :@ yes please.
*eats*

Dave says:
:-O
My lunch!

Rellikki says:
forget about your lunch :@

Dave says:
'kay :-(

Rellikki says:
we need to put out the fire!
use the shit :@

Dave says:
But the shit is flammable!
Or is it inflammable...
I get the two mixed up...

Rellikki says:
use the bag then! :@

Dave says:
*uses the bag*

Rellikki says:
*chokes with the bag on his head* :@
 
Quote Post
Toadball
post May 10 2008, 02:46
Post #203


ArmA.info Sarcasm Society's Slightly Mad Scotsman
*****

Group: Former .info Serviceman
Posts: 718
Joined: 28-September 07
From: Glasgow, UK
Member No.: 1,331



I once defended the notion of the possibility of sane life in these forums...


--------------------
Never before in the history of man, was so much buggered up by so few.
 
Quote Post
Blackscorpion
post May 15 2008, 21:24
Post #204


ArmA.info Sarcasm Society's Rifleman-in-Charge
****

Group: Members
Posts: 266
Joined: 23-November 06
From: Manchester of the North, FI
Member No.: 270



QUOTE
(BlackScorpion @ June 18 2006,13:11)
Sorry to ask you for this, but noticed your rather nice looking pic in the Combat Photography thread. In which download, exactly, is the Vilas weapons pack featured? Although not maybe the highest quality (well, wouldn't know), it seems to have some nice, previously unreleased weapons? :hlp:

(helping_hand @ June 18 2006,16:22)
Vilas's Pack I Dont Think Is Featured With Anything Except His Own Addons Vilas Dwnld



Ooooh, the memories... adapted from BIS PM system.


--------------------
Hakkaa pššlle Pohjan poika!

Words were coming out of my fingertips faster than my thoughts could process them in my brains... My plead is for temporary insanity that was caused by permanent insanity of very, very twisted nerve cluster that's called brain matter, that's supposed to be grey but isn't, it's black and has a somewhat sarcastic and dark sense of humor, or lacks it totally.

The self-appointed God of Scor Nango. Not an emperor, just... God.
 
Quote Post
Blackbuck
post May 15 2008, 23:12
Post #205


ArmA.info Sarcasm Society's Appointed Olivia Wilde Stalker
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Posts: 1,482
Joined: 12-November 06
From: United Kingdom
Member No.: 113



ohmy.gif / mellow.gif What the Heckler and Koch?


--------------------

--------------------
Heed my words or risk being beaten with a stick then fed to my associate D@V£
The Rules - Most places have rules, these are ours Read them!
Moderation Feedback Thread - Let everyone know how much you don't like D@V£
--------------------
 
Quote Post
D@V£
post May 15 2008, 23:45
Post #206


Gee, I wish we had one of them doomsday machines.
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Group: Moderators
Posts: 2,037
Joined: 13-November 06
From: Wales
Member No.: 155



I call PM necromancy.


--------------------
The Rules - Nothing too complicated, follow these and we'll have no problems.
Moderation Feedback Thread - Tell everyone how much you hate me love me secretly fear that Mark is watching you while you sleep. secretly wish that Mark is watching you while you sleep.
Site Issues Thread - Complain about site issues here. We might even fix them!
Community Chatter Thread - Furthest Mud-sling gets a free subscription to "JdB Monthly".

QUOTE(Major Mike Shearer)
We can categorically state that we have not released man-eating badgers into the area.
QUOTE(Brace Belden)
A machine gun is like a woman, I donít understand it, Iím afraid of it, and one day Iíll accidentally be killed by one.
 
Quote Post
Deadeye
post May 16 2008, 15:24
Post #207


ArmA.info Sarcasm Society's Gentleman Usher of the Banstick
******

Group: Former .info Serviceman
Posts: 1,781
Joined: 1-November 06
From: Old-Europe
Member No.: 11



The first PM I ever received was from brataccas smile.gif


--------------------
 
Quote Post
JdB
post May 16 2008, 16:31
Post #208


Hipster addonmaker
*******

Group: Former .info Serviceman
Posts: 2,090
Joined: 1-November 06
From: Kingdom of the Netherlands
Member No.: 10



QUOTE(Deadeye @ May 16 2008, 16:24) *
The first PM I ever received was from brataccas smile.gif


Like I would even remember...

I got well over 400 PM's in 6+ years. The oldest one that I still have on the OFP.info forums was sent by the almighty Duck of Death, and the oldest one that I still have that I sent was to the insane Solidus Tiger.

The first forum that I signed up to was the old Marss911 forum, so probably the first PM I ever received was by Marcel, Blue Parrot (later Gandalf The White), WarriorEagle, DiabloTerror or one other guy whose name I forgot... mellow.gif


--------------------
Creator of dodgy ArmA:CWA addons.

 
Quote Post
Blackscorpion
post May 16 2008, 18:17
Post #209


ArmA.info Sarcasm Society's Rifleman-in-Charge
****

Group: Members
Posts: 266
Joined: 23-November 06
From: Manchester of the North, FI
Member No.: 270



Oldest BIS one dates back to 2005... I'm guessing that the oldest PMs I'd have would be from now-deceased Il2Skins and my first HGs forum account.


--------------------
Hakkaa pššlle Pohjan poika!

Words were coming out of my fingertips faster than my thoughts could process them in my brains... My plead is for temporary insanity that was caused by permanent insanity of very, very twisted nerve cluster that's called brain matter, that's supposed to be grey but isn't, it's black and has a somewhat sarcastic and dark sense of humor, or lacks it totally.

The self-appointed God of Scor Nango. Not an emperor, just... God.
 
Quote Post
Toadball
post May 16 2008, 19:02
Post #210


ArmA.info Sarcasm Society's Slightly Mad Scotsman
*****

Group: Former .info Serviceman
Posts: 718
Joined: 28-September 07
From: Glasgow, UK
Member No.: 1,331



If we're reminising about oldest PM's mine'd be the archives department or personell department CO of NRN complimenting some work i'd done the previous week. Did more work as a recruit than as a comissioned officer there tongue.gif


--------------------
Never before in the history of man, was so much buggered up by so few.
 
Quote Post
JdB
post May 18 2008, 00:38
Post #211


Hipster addonmaker
*******

Group: Former .info Serviceman
Posts: 2,090
Joined: 1-November 06
From: Kingdom of the Netherlands
Member No.: 10



QUOTE
Deadeye: you know what ucks the most...I need to build a stuate till monday... (lost a bet)
JdB: stuate???
Deadeye: *statue
JdB: made of what?
Deadeye: wood
JdB: ...right
Deadeye: remeind me to upload pics !
Deadeye: I'll buold it now !
JdB: while drunk? that doesn't sound like a good idea...
Deadeye: It does indeed!
Deadeye: and if one line of this conversation ends in the qoute thrad you get Pred for 72 hours ! biggrin.gif
Deadeye: (is it worth it?)
JdB: not yet, not shocking enough
JdB: if I quote you, it will be something that ruins your reputation for ever, so the PR won't matter
Deadeye: if I'd get more shocking I'd have to lie
JdB: oh, rather disappointing tongue.gif
JdB: well, I could of course falsely quote that the statue needs to be a representation of your own wiener, but that you couldn't find a block of wood smaller than 3cm biggrin.gif
Deadeye: 48 PR wink.gif
JdB: meh, I won't settle for anything less than 72


A statue made of wood, well what else would you expect wink.gif


--------------------
Creator of dodgy ArmA:CWA addons.

 
Quote Post
D@V£
post May 18 2008, 00:40
Post #212


Gee, I wish we had one of them doomsday machines.
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Group: Moderators
Posts: 2,037
Joined: 13-November 06
From: Wales
Member No.: 155



Drunken Admins! What fun!
QUOTE
Dave says:
I can give you my Home Phone, but you won't be able to call me on it until I get back from university
But first, first you must do me a favour... yes? biggrin.gif

deadeye5@gmx.de (E-mail address not verified) says:
what

Dave says:
IP Ban a list of people who I feel the community would be better off without biggrin.gif

deadeye5@gmx.de (E-mail address not verified) says:
no can't do that

Dave says:
unsure.gif What if I took JdB off the list?


--------------------
The Rules - Nothing too complicated, follow these and we'll have no problems.
Moderation Feedback Thread - Tell everyone how much you hate me love me secretly fear that Mark is watching you while you sleep. secretly wish that Mark is watching you while you sleep.
Site Issues Thread - Complain about site issues here. We might even fix them!
Community Chatter Thread - Furthest Mud-sling gets a free subscription to "JdB Monthly".

QUOTE(Major Mike Shearer)
We can categorically state that we have not released man-eating badgers into the area.
QUOTE(Brace Belden)
A machine gun is like a woman, I donít understand it, Iím afraid of it, and one day Iíll accidentally be killed by one.
 
Quote Post
Deadeye
post May 18 2008, 01:17
Post #213


ArmA.info Sarcasm Society's Gentleman Usher of the Banstick
******

Group: Former .info Serviceman
Posts: 1,781
Joined: 1-November 06
From: Old-Europe
Member No.: 11




Deadeye has never talked to these fellas!


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Quote Post
D@V£
post May 18 2008, 02:05
Post #214


Gee, I wish we had one of them doomsday machines.
Group Icon

Group: Moderators
Posts: 2,037
Joined: 13-November 06
From: Wales
Member No.: 155



We replaced this man's regular coffee with the strange feeling something is always wrong:
QUOTE
Dave says:
BI released a new video of ArmA2! ohmy.gif
http://youtube.com/watch?v=eBGIQ7ZuuiU

Rellikki says:
you bastard mad.gif


--------------------
The Rules - Nothing too complicated, follow these and we'll have no problems.
Moderation Feedback Thread - Tell everyone how much you hate me love me secretly fear that Mark is watching you while you sleep. secretly wish that Mark is watching you while you sleep.
Site Issues Thread - Complain about site issues here. We might even fix them!
Community Chatter Thread - Furthest Mud-sling gets a free subscription to "JdB Monthly".

QUOTE(Major Mike Shearer)
We can categorically state that we have not released man-eating badgers into the area.
QUOTE(Brace Belden)
A machine gun is like a woman, I donít understand it, Iím afraid of it, and one day Iíll accidentally be killed by one.
 
Quote Post
JdB
post May 24 2008, 16:45
Post #215


Hipster addonmaker
*******

Group: Former .info Serviceman
Posts: 2,090
Joined: 1-November 06
From: Kingdom of the Netherlands
Member No.: 10



"Stupid/Funny community conversations or sentences" and "Jokes thread" threads merged, renamed and pinned.


--------------------
Creator of dodgy ArmA:CWA addons.

 
Quote Post
D@V£
post May 24 2008, 18:35
Post #216


Gee, I wish we had one of them doomsday machines.
Group Icon

Group: Moderators
Posts: 2,037
Joined: 13-November 06
From: Wales
Member No.: 155



Some things never change tongue.gif

QUOTE
Dave says:
Check out the teaser trailer for my MDU project!
http://youtube.com/watch?v=eBGIQ7ZuuiU
Rellikki says:
__furious.gif


--------------------
The Rules - Nothing too complicated, follow these and we'll have no problems.
Moderation Feedback Thread - Tell everyone how much you hate me love me secretly fear that Mark is watching you while you sleep. secretly wish that Mark is watching you while you sleep.
Site Issues Thread - Complain about site issues here. We might even fix them!
Community Chatter Thread - Furthest Mud-sling gets a free subscription to "JdB Monthly".

QUOTE(Major Mike Shearer)
We can categorically state that we have not released man-eating badgers into the area.
QUOTE(Brace Belden)
A machine gun is like a woman, I donít understand it, Iím afraid of it, and one day Iíll accidentally be killed by one.
 
Quote Post
D@V£
post May 28 2008, 19:53
Post #217


Gee, I wish we had one of them doomsday machines.
Group Icon

Group: Moderators
Posts: 2,037
Joined: 13-November 06
From: Wales
Member No.: 155



Apologies for the double post, but it has been more than 2 days...


QUOTE
Dave says:
You know, if Hiliary wins then US politics will become like Ping-Pong!

Bush/Clinton/Bush/Clinton/Bush/Clinton/Bush/Clinton... you see where I'm going with this, right?
Joakim says:
no
because after a 2nd term
you cannot run for president again

Dave says:
George Bush isn't the same George Bush before Clinton, was he?

Joakim says:
yes yes

Dave says:
And Hilliary Clinton ain't Bill Clinton (although, I sometimes wonder... )

Joakim says:
George Sr/bill/george jr/hillary
but no more

Dave says:
Are you kidding me?
If Hillairy gets in for two terms, well [Bush's] daughter will be old enough to stand then.
I think I can say with no doubt in my mind, that Dubya won't be the last president Bush.
Unless the nature of government in the United States changes drastically.

Joakim says:
Ahnold for prez?

Dave says:
Probabley
I mean, Reagan got in...

*Images the future*

"Tear down zis vall Skynet!"

Joakim says:
hahaahaah


--------------------
The Rules - Nothing too complicated, follow these and we'll have no problems.
Moderation Feedback Thread - Tell everyone how much you hate me love me secretly fear that Mark is watching you while you sleep. secretly wish that Mark is watching you while you sleep.
Site Issues Thread - Complain about site issues here. We might even fix them!
Community Chatter Thread - Furthest Mud-sling gets a free subscription to "JdB Monthly".

QUOTE(Major Mike Shearer)
We can categorically state that we have not released man-eating badgers into the area.
QUOTE(Brace Belden)
A machine gun is like a woman, I donít understand it, Iím afraid of it, and one day Iíll accidentally be killed by one.
 
Quote Post
Rellikki
post May 28 2008, 21:49
Post #218



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Group: Addon Maker
Posts: 1,148
Joined: 4-November 06
Member No.: 13



QUOTE
Rellikki says:
some day i sell DNA
and you won't stop me mad.gif

Dave says:
Heh... you're using this thread against me are you?
Well, you can't stop me, you can't! ohmy.gif
I'm too inebriated to be stopped. Scientific fact that is,

Rellikki says:
? unsure.gif
it doesn't matter mad.gif
because you can't stop ME

Dave says:
Maybe no man can stop you...
but...
SCIENCE can stop you! ohmy.gif
TO THE LAB! *Dun-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-naaaah*

Rellikki says:
not so fast
for i am a scientist! mad.gif

Dave says:
ohmy.gif

Rellikki says:
scientists are immune to science used in offensive way

Dave says:
But are you a mad scientist?

Rellikki says:
no.
i am an INSANE scientist mad.gif

Dave says:
OHSHIT! ohmy.gif
*explodes*
 
Quote Post
Benoist
post May 29 2008, 02:55
Post #219


ArmA.info Sarcasm Society's Mr. Argentina 2012
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Group: Newshound
Posts: 498
Joined: 20-October 07
From: Argentina
Member No.: 1,502



Jua
 
Quote Post
DaRat
post May 30 2008, 02:16
Post #220


~Established April, 2004~
*****

Group: Former .info Serviceman
Posts: 800
Joined: 12-November 06
From: Sussex, England
Member No.: 34



Note, the next person to post is officially gay. Thank you for your co-operation.
 
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