Hi evryone! Ok here's how this thread works: somebody will post part of a story, it can be made up, then the next person carries on the story the way they wan't it to go. It only has to be 1 or 2 lines long. Ok, I'll go first:

There was a man called bob...

Now its your turn:

Hehe I like this

...and bob's dream was to become: A Mail Man!...

... Bob became a post man but was left disappointed by the perks of the job.

...bob was robbed outside the post office...

by an angry hamster...

...that infected him with a shitload of STDs.

... And wait for it! Lupus!

At the hamsters funeral, standing on top of the coffin...

stood a man, that man was bob. Bob raised his fist and...

I aint sodding dead you numpties as the coffin is taken into the Furnace...

...he then pulls out 2 pistols...

... Which start to heat up and burn his hands.

No there isn't a Woman called Diana and no the Pistols are not AMT Hardballers

He drops the guns onto the ground. The guns fire...

Hitting the conveyor belt 'stop' switch...

which was unusual, being a lack of a conveyor belt at hand..

...which could only mean the stop button was designed for a nearby abattoir! Which released millions of mad cows, who subsequently...

Infected the populous with BSE

But not any normal BSE! No, this was Hyper BSE, whose symptoms include...

Transformation into D@ve minions

Then BOB saw a woman.....

It was a Nurse! She explained how the events at the Crematorium had left him in a coma for 29 years, since then, the world has changed, now...

... ran up to her and humped her leg like a happy little dog...

unfortunately, she was a leper, so it fell off!


CLARITY NOTE: Her leg.

sadly for bob, due to the contagious nature of leprosy and his insistence not to use protection, the nurses' leg was the least of his worries now...

The next morning walking into work he was assulted by Brendan Fraser screaming "Die you porno mummy". It was at that point Bob knew he needed help...

punching Brendan Fraser in the face, he boarded the nearest flight to Haiti, intent on finding the one man who could help him! This man is of course...

was none other that chuck norris...

Bobs flight was delayed by a bunch of stupid eco terrorists at stansted airport so he called Chuck. Chuck replied "Chuck Norris does not travel. The world rotates until Chuck Norris is where he needs to be"...So Bob waited....

....until Chuck didn't look, and then he jumped and grabbed Chuck's chesthair.....

hanging off Chuck Norris's chest hair he thought to himself...what the f*ck am i doing? Im covered in BEEEES! (Note the Eddie Izzard parody) then as if the story couldnt get any wierder they were both stampeaded to near death by the heard of leper, STD infected, world ruling cows...

(note also that Chuck Norris was infact completely unharmed and proceeded to eat a penguin)

Then Bob stood up, and saw Chuck eating the penguin, and he wanted to join in, but Chuck kicked him in the nose, which made him fly all across the ocean, right in the middle of a flying pirate ship.

The ship was of course manned by Somali pirates who...

were about to start the assault on the Titanic II

Where the human liders were negociating with the Bear Empire to remove the Mad Cows from the world goverment

... of course, bob thinked fast, and by calculating the speed, mass and velocity of that ship with the whole earth (under 12 seconds), he started screaming like a little girl, and ran around all the ship (just like a pro would do)...

Then bOb saw an island moving by itself:
It was Chuck Norris comming to prevent the hijack to happen, the island stopped near the Somalian ship and Chuck Norris said: "Walker Texas Ranger, please get out of the boat else I will destroy it"

....No-one believed Chuck about what happened, and they started to laugh... but Chuck got angry and called his padawan: Johnny Rambo the Fifth....

Chuck Norris round house kicked the boat istantly destrying it and in the process cured cancer...