 The funny conversation and jokes thread, AKA: Dr Strangebloke, or, how I learned to stop worrying and love MSN |
  |
 Feb 13 2008, 19:32
Post
#81
|
|
 huns not dead  Group: Former .info Serviceman Posts: 329 Joined: 12-November 06 From: Pannonia Member No.: 72  |
Ahh that hurts!
-------------------- HUNS
NOT DEAD |
|
|
|
|
Feb 13 2008, 19:40
Post
#82
|
|
 ArmA.info Sarcasm Society's Gentleman Usher of the Banstick Group: Former .info Serviceman Posts: 1,781 Joined: 1-November 06 From: Old-Europe Member No.: 11 |
QUOTE A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.
His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.” The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.” -------------------- |
|
|
|
|
Feb 13 2008, 20:57
Post
#83
|
|
 The Il2 Fan Group: Members Posts: 733 Joined: 7-November 06 From: England Member No.: 25 |
whats big, has multi colored balls and if it fell out of a tree would kill you?
a snooker table --------------------   |
|
|
|
|
Feb 15 2008, 14:03
Post
#84
|
|
 ArmA.info Sarcasm Society's Rifleman-in-Charge Group: Members Posts: 266 Joined: 23-November 06 From: Manchester of the North, FI Member No.: 270 |
QUOTE "Did I already kiss you?" * rough nodding* "Yeah" QUOTE "You hit me in the boob, thanks!" Best 2 phrases I've said/heard in a looooooong time.
-------------------- Hakkaa päälle Pohjan poika!
Words were coming out of my fingertips faster than my thoughts could process them in my brains... My plead is for temporary insanity that was caused by permanent insanity of very, very twisted nerve cluster that's called brain matter, that's supposed to be grey but isn't, it's black and has a somewhat sarcastic and dark sense of humor, or lacks it totally. The self-appointed God of Scor Nango. Not an emperor, just... God. |
|
|
|
|
Feb 15 2008, 15:28
Post
#85
|
|
 ArmA.info Sarcasm Society's Appointed Olivia Wilde Stalker  Group: Moderators Posts: 1,482 Joined: 12-November 06 From: United Kingdom Member No.: 113 |
What the hell went on last night??
--------------------   -------------------- Heed my words or risk being beaten with a stick then fed to my associate D@V£ The Rules - Most places have rules, these are ours Read them! Moderation Feedback Thread - Let everyone know how much you don't like D@V£ -------------------- |
|
|
|
|
Feb 15 2008, 15:45
Post
#86
|
|
 ArmA.info Sarcasm Society's Slightly Mad Scotsman Group: Former .info Serviceman Posts: 718 Joined: 28-September 07 From: Glasgow, UK Member No.: 1,331 |
Dunno, Scorpy got some?
-------------------- Never before in the history of man, was so much buggered up by so few.
|
|
|
|
|
Feb 15 2008, 15:47
Post
#87
|
|
|
ArmA.info Sarcasm Society's Rifleman-in-Charge Group: Members Posts: 266 Joined: 23-November 06 From: Manchester of the North, FI Member No.: 270 |
...no.
6 drinks though, and bought Mark-knows-who one too, plus got her to taste (my) absinthe. -------------------- Hakkaa päälle Pohjan poika!
Words were coming out of my fingertips faster than my thoughts could process them in my brains... My plead is for temporary insanity that was caused by permanent insanity of very, very twisted nerve cluster that's called brain matter, that's supposed to be grey but isn't, it's black and has a somewhat sarcastic and dark sense of humor, or lacks it totally. The self-appointed God of Scor Nango. Not an emperor, just... God. |
|
|
|
|
Feb 15 2008, 16:09
Post
#88
|
|
|
huns not dead Group: Former .info Serviceman Posts: 329 Joined: 12-November 06 From: Pannonia Member No.: 72 |
Seriously guys, how can drink Absinthe?
 The worst alhocol ever, tastes like Petrol! :S -------------------- HUNS
NOT DEAD |
|
|
|
|
Feb 15 2008, 16:36
Post
#89
|
|
|
ArmA.info Sarcasm Society's Slightly Mad Scotsman Group: Former .info Serviceman Posts: 718 Joined: 28-September 07 From: Glasgow, UK Member No.: 1,331 |
Got yah beat scorpy, once you get a girl to drink from worse than your dirty pint then you've got me beat
 Ouzo tastes worse imo -------------------- Never before in the history of man, was so much buggered up by so few.
|
|
|
|
|
Feb 15 2008, 17:47
Post
#90
|
|
 Gee, I wish we had one of them doomsday machines. Group: Moderators Posts: 2,037 Joined: 13-November 06 From: Wales Member No.: 155 |
QUOTE(Bence @ Feb 15 2008, 15:09)  Seriously guys, how can drink Absinthe? The worst alhocol ever, tastes like Petrol! :S And it makes you blind... But I guess that isn't really a problem, because you won't need eye where we're going! 
-------------------- The Rules - Nothing too complicated, follow these and we'll have no problems.
Moderation Feedback Thread - Tell everyone how much you Site Issues Thread - Complain about site issues here. We might even fix them! Community Chatter Thread - Furthest Mud-sling gets a free subscription to "JdB Monthly". QUOTE(Major Mike Shearer) We can categorically state that we have not released man-eating badgers into the area. QUOTE(Brace Belden) A machine gun is like a woman, I don’t understand it, I’m afraid of it, and one day I’ll accidentally be killed by one. |
|
|
|
|
Feb 16 2008, 14:12
Post
#91
|
|
 Hipster addonmaker Group: Former .info Serviceman Posts: 2,090 Joined: 1-November 06 From: Kingdom of the Netherlands Member No.: 10 |
QUOTE(D@V£ @ Feb 15 2008, 17:47) And it makes you blind... Are you sure the Absinthe does that, and not the "manual labor"? 
-------------------- Creator of dodgy ArmA:CWA addons.   |
|
|
|
|
Feb 16 2008, 15:32
Post
#92
|
|
|
Gee, I wish we had one of them doomsday machines. Group: Moderators Posts: 2,037 Joined: 13-November 06 From: Wales Member No.: 155 |
QUOTE(JdB @ Feb 16 2008, 13:12) Are you sure the Absinthe does that, and not the "manual labor"? What you've just said has given me a disturbing new insight into the film "Event Horizon". -------------------- The Rules - Nothing too complicated, follow these and we'll have no problems.
Moderation Feedback Thread - Tell everyone how much you Site Issues Thread - Complain about site issues here. We might even fix them! Community Chatter Thread - Furthest Mud-sling gets a free subscription to "JdB Monthly". QUOTE(Major Mike Shearer) We can categorically state that we have not released man-eating badgers into the area. QUOTE(Brace Belden) A machine gun is like a woman, I don’t understand it, I’m afraid of it, and one day I’ll accidentally be killed by one. |
|
|
|
|
Feb 16 2008, 15:58
Post
#93
|
|
 Member Group: Former .info Serviceman Posts: 82 Joined: 4-November 06 From: Franken Member No.: 15 |
Isn't that the movie where nearly everyone loses his/her eyes?
--------------------  "Wer A sagt, der muß nicht B sagen. Er kann auch erkennen, daß A falsch war." - Berthold Brecht  |
|
|
|
|
Feb 16 2008, 17:18
Post
#94
|
|
|
Gee, I wish we had one of them doomsday machines. Group: Moderators Posts: 2,037 Joined: 13-November 06 From: Wales Member No.: 155 |
QUOTE(x-ray @ Feb 16 2008, 14:58) Isn't that the movie where nearly everyone loses his/her eyes? Yes, yes it is. Think about it for a second. You'll see what I mean. -------------------- The Rules - Nothing too complicated, follow these and we'll have no problems.
Moderation Feedback Thread - Tell everyone how much you Site Issues Thread - Complain about site issues here. We might even fix them! Community Chatter Thread - Furthest Mud-sling gets a free subscription to "JdB Monthly". QUOTE(Major Mike Shearer) We can categorically state that we have not released man-eating badgers into the area. QUOTE(Brace Belden) A machine gun is like a woman, I don’t understand it, I’m afraid of it, and one day I’ll accidentally be killed by one. |
|
|
|
|
Feb 16 2008, 23:39
Post
#95
|
|
|
ArmA.info Sarcasm Society's Appointed Olivia Wilde Stalker Group: Moderators Posts: 1,482 Joined: 12-November 06 From: United Kingdom Member No.: 113 |
Was insight an unwanted pun?
-------------------- -------------------- Heed my words or risk being beaten with a stick then fed to my associate D@V£ The Rules - Most places have rules, these are ours Read them! Moderation Feedback Thread - Let everyone know how much you don't like D@V£ -------------------- |
|
|
|
|
Feb 17 2008, 03:59
Post
#96
|
|
|
ArmA.info Sarcasm Society's Slightly Mad Scotsman Group: Former .info Serviceman Posts: 718 Joined: 28-September 07 From: Glasgow, UK Member No.: 1,331 |
I hope it was unintentional...if not my credibility for the title of "Worst sense of humour in relation to puns" is at risk...
-------------------- Never before in the history of man, was so much buggered up by so few.
|
|
|
|
|
Feb 19 2008, 22:35
Post
#97
|
|
|
Gee, I wish we had one of them doomsday machines. Group: Moderators Posts: 2,037 Joined: 13-November 06 From: Wales Member No.: 155 |
QUOTE Mark says: What's happened this time lol Dave says: Sorry about that, had to take a call. Right, I've had it up to here with this God Chap! If you could see me you'd know I'm holding my hand up to my chin... and I'm pretty tall! Mark says: Like I said what's happened. Tell 'uncle mark' Dave says: I'm getting to it! I have to flesh out the backstory first! Oh wait... No I don't Mark says: I'm an agony uncle not a psychatrist or how ever that is spelt Dave says: There is no backstory. God's a bastard That's pretty much it. I swear, everytime I'm about to get somewhere, my opposition somehow, against all odds, manages to pull a miracle out of his or her ass and win against all odds! Mark says: That's sods law Dave says: No. It's all god's fault. The bastard I swear, when I die, I'm going to take over whatever twisted realm I'm taken to, and lead an unholy war against him Mark says: Create your own religion Dave says: Also, you can't be an agony uncle, you have to be an Aunt I don't make the rules. That's just the way it is. Mark says: That would allow you to poke fun at me tho Dave says: Yes, yes it would Aunt Sandra. Mark says: Bollocks you still remember that Dave says: Well yes, I am of course the Messiah of Davetology! Mark says: Err ok Dave says: If I understand if correctly, A God's power is defined by their followers. There's probabley some complex formula like "P=n*f" (where P is power, n is the number of followers and f is the coefficent of faith) Of course, this would be easily explained by a subconsious psionic field... essentially if everyone believed I could shoot lightening from my hands then I would probabley be able to shoot lightening from my hands... Mark says: Hmm Dave says: I mean, people like Castro, who have captured the faith of entire nations seem to have enhanced health and the like through some unseen force... I think I could be onto something here Mark says: Could just be the will to live o have power to have* Dave says: Perhaps, but Placebo's still require belief. Mark says: True Dave says: Give a man a cure and tell him it's poison and he'll die. Well... he'll probabley die, I dunno Therefore, I shall become God... ...with SCIENCE! Now get worshipping Mortal Mark says: Nah I'm ok i'm agnostic Dave says: Then just call me Agn! Worship me as your Lord and Master. In return for your absolute faith, I'll give you a lollipop. -------------------- The Rules - Nothing too complicated, follow these and we'll have no problems.
Moderation Feedback Thread - Tell everyone how much you Site Issues Thread - Complain about site issues here. We might even fix them! Community Chatter Thread - Furthest Mud-sling gets a free subscription to "JdB Monthly". QUOTE(Major Mike Shearer) We can categorically state that we have not released man-eating badgers into the area. QUOTE(Brace Belden) A machine gun is like a woman, I don’t understand it, I’m afraid of it, and one day I’ll accidentally be killed by one. |
|
|
|
|
Feb 19 2008, 23:10
Post
#98
|
|
 ArmA.info Sarcasm Society's Mr. Argentina 2012  Group: Newshound Posts: 498 Joined: 20-October 07 From: Argentina Member No.: 1,502 |
Dave our Lord
|
|
|
|
|
Feb 20 2008, 01:23
Post
#99
|
|
 ~Established April, 2004~ Group: Former .info Serviceman Posts: 800 Joined: 12-November 06 From: Sussex, England Member No.: 34 |
I'm still skeptical... What flavour?
|
|
|
|
|
Feb 20 2008, 01:39
Post
#100
|
|
|
ArmA.info Sarcasm Society's Slightly Mad Scotsman Group: Former .info Serviceman Posts: 718 Joined: 28-September 07 From: Glasgow, UK Member No.: 1,331 |
Do we get paid by the hour if we are scientists and for purely theological reasons, why does the lollipop have a flavour?
my...odder side coming out: QUOTE Mark: Link 2nd row made me think of you Andrew: if these are crashes yer dead woop, molecules! Mark:  Andrew: proteins even, mmmmmhm sweet alpha helical protein structure  Mark: I love it when you speak dirty  Is there something about young Mark that we do not know? -------------------- Never before in the history of man, was so much buggered up by so few.
|
|
|
|
 |
3 User(s) are reading this topic (3 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
0 Members:
| Lo-Fi Version | Time is now: 26th April 2024 - 03:32 |