 The funny conversation and jokes thread, AKA: Dr Strangebloke, or, how I learned to stop worrying and love MSN |
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 Jan 31 2008, 12:58
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#61
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 ArmA.info Sarcasm Society's Slightly Mad Scotsman  Group: Former .info Serviceman Posts: 718 Joined: 28-September 07 From: Glasgow, UK Member No.: 1,331  |
I'd be happy to die like that, death by tits!
-------------------- Never before in the history of man, was so much buggered up by so few.
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Feb 1 2008, 21:39
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#62
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 ArmA.info Sarcasm Society's Appointed Olivia Wilde Stalker  Group: Moderators Posts: 1,482 Joined: 12-November 06 From: United Kingdom Member No.: 113 |
QUOTE Andrew - feck's sake says: Type 97 in full pride: LINK Type 97 castrated  : LINKMark says: I'll take the long one  Andrew - feck's sake says: Ofc Mark says: Oh dear that came out wrong... Andrew - feck's sake says: Funny conversation thread when i get back from work! QUOTE Mark says: I ended up talking to her mate today about toast  Andrew - feck's sake says: How.....odd Andrew - feck's sake says: dare i ask, why toast? Mark says: The Industrial toaster in the refectory was playing up and the toast wasn't fully toasted. The lady on the till asked if I'd want it putting through again I said it didn't matter as long as it was warm. Got an chuckle, agreement and a smile from her mate and an amused look by her. Strange goings on before 9am I tells ya! Me and JynX chatting about pressing issues on MSN... --------------------   -------------------- Heed my words or risk being beaten with a stick then fed to my associate D@V£ The Rules - Most places have rules, these are ours Read them! Moderation Feedback Thread - Let everyone know how much you don't like D@V£ -------------------- |
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Feb 4 2008, 21:34
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#63
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 Administrator  Group: Root Admin Posts: 693 Joined: 10-October 06 From: Toulouse, France Member No.: 1 |
QUOTE Lord_Impaler (21:31) : Cervo ?  Cervo [OFP.info] (21:31) : yes? Lord_Impaler (21:31) : I have a wish.... Lord_Impaler (21:31) : can you rename me at the forum ?  Cervo [OFP.info] (21:32) : let me check at prices' grid Cervo [OFP.info] (21:32) : 20 € for JdB ! Cervo [OFP.info] (21:33) : that's the price Lord_Impaler (21:33) : ROFL, never saw any rules like this, can I check it ? Lord_Impaler (21:33) : but I guess that your not joking Cervo [OFP.info] (21:42) : done Lord_Impaler (21:42) : thank you Grand Master ! Cervo [OFP.info] (21:43) : but you must now tell JdB that I exceptionally changed your name without making you pay, ok ? Lord_Impaler (21:44) : Ok sure! Lord_Impaler (21:46) : done LOL, now lets wait JdB answer 
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Feb 4 2008, 21:35
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#64
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ArmA.info Sarcasm Society's Appointed Olivia Wilde Stalker Group: Moderators Posts: 1,482 Joined: 12-November 06 From: United Kingdom Member No.: 113 |
Another name change for lee
 ?
-------------------- -------------------- Heed my words or risk being beaten with a stick then fed to my associate D@V£ The Rules - Most places have rules, these are ours Read them! Moderation Feedback Thread - Let everyone know how much you don't like D@V£ -------------------- |
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Feb 4 2008, 22:06
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#65
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ArmA.info Sarcasm Society's Slightly Mad Scotsman Group: Former .info Serviceman Posts: 718 Joined: 28-September 07 From: Glasgow, UK Member No.: 1,331 |
The .info consortium are after him, he must remain as unknown as possible !
-------------------- Never before in the history of man, was so much buggered up by so few.
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Feb 4 2008, 22:30
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#66
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 Gee, I wish we had one of them doomsday machines. Group: Moderators Posts: 2,037 Joined: 13-November 06 From: Wales Member No.: 155 |
Whut?
There's a .info consortium!? I must join this, then I will be able to say "The Consortiums"
-------------------- The Rules - Nothing too complicated, follow these and we'll have no problems.
Moderation Feedback Thread - Tell everyone how much you Site Issues Thread - Complain about site issues here. We might even fix them! Community Chatter Thread - Furthest Mud-sling gets a free subscription to "JdB Monthly". QUOTE(Major Mike Shearer) We can categorically state that we have not released man-eating badgers into the area. QUOTE(Brace Belden) A machine gun is like a woman, I don’t understand it, I’m afraid of it, and one day I’ll accidentally be killed by one. |
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Feb 5 2008, 02:01
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#67
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ArmA.info Sarcasm Society's Slightly Mad Scotsman Group: Former .info Serviceman Posts: 718 Joined: 28-September 07 From: Glasgow, UK Member No.: 1,331 |
Ah, See i thought they were one in the sa....I've said to much.
-------------------- Never before in the history of man, was so much buggered up by so few.
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Feb 7 2008, 02:00
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#68
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 Group: Addon Maker Posts: 1,148 Joined: 4-November 06 Member No.: 13 |
QUOTE Dave says: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/education/7231388.stm ...f*ck... I don't want to have to get exercise! Rellikki says: there is no choice.  pack your lunch pete. we are going to france Dave says: I think you're the first person to have ever said "pack your lunch pete" on the internet http://www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&c...earch&meta= pack your lunch pete.
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Feb 7 2008, 03:08
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#69
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 ArmA.info Sarcasm Society's Mr. Argentina 2012  Group: Newshound Posts: 498 Joined: 20-October 07 From: Argentina Member No.: 1,502 |
Why Dave apears in an 80% of the conversations?
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Feb 7 2008, 03:17
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#70
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ArmA.info Sarcasm Society's Slightly Mad Scotsman Group: Former .info Serviceman Posts: 718 Joined: 28-September 07 From: Glasgow, UK Member No.: 1,331 |
It's the D@V£ effect, hang around the Chatter thread and you'll see what I mean whenever he posts
or just read one of his readmes.....
-------------------- Never before in the history of man, was so much buggered up by so few.
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Feb 8 2008, 16:28
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#71
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ArmA.info Sarcasm Society's Slightly Mad Scotsman Group: Former .info Serviceman Posts: 718 Joined: 28-September 07 From: Glasgow, UK Member No.: 1,331 |
QUOTE For every sperm cell a male produces that contains an x chromosome he must also produce another that contains a y chromome, if he didn't he wouldn't be a he.......and that wouldn't be on  Biology lecturer we had explaining a bit of meiosis to the students who didn't know much about it -------------------- Never before in the history of man, was so much buggered up by so few.
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Feb 8 2008, 18:48
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#72
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Gee, I wish we had one of them doomsday machines. Group: Moderators Posts: 2,037 Joined: 13-November 06 From: Wales Member No.: 155 |
A more perplexing question about that is how someone without a Y chromosome could be producing sperm...
-------------------- The Rules - Nothing too complicated, follow these and we'll have no problems.
Moderation Feedback Thread - Tell everyone how much you Site Issues Thread - Complain about site issues here. We might even fix them! Community Chatter Thread - Furthest Mud-sling gets a free subscription to "JdB Monthly". QUOTE(Major Mike Shearer) We can categorically state that we have not released man-eating badgers into the area. QUOTE(Brace Belden) A machine gun is like a woman, I don’t understand it, I’m afraid of it, and one day I’ll accidentally be killed by one. |
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Feb 8 2008, 18:58
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#73
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ArmA.info Sarcasm Society's Mr. Argentina 2012 Group: Newshound Posts: 498 Joined: 20-October 07 From: Argentina Member No.: 1,502 |
Of course, it would be something strange to see a woman producing sperm (and more odd when she has an orgasm
).
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Feb 8 2008, 19:15
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#74
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ArmA.info Sarcasm Society's Appointed Olivia Wilde Stalker Group: Moderators Posts: 1,482 Joined: 12-November 06 From: United Kingdom Member No.: 113 |
Meh women can do that to an extent anyway just not semen.
-------------------- -------------------- Heed my words or risk being beaten with a stick then fed to my associate D@V£ The Rules - Most places have rules, these are ours Read them! Moderation Feedback Thread - Let everyone know how much you don't like D@V£ -------------------- |
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Feb 9 2008, 00:23
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#75
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 ~Established April, 2004~ Group: Former .info Serviceman Posts: 800 Joined: 12-November 06 From: Sussex, England Member No.: 34 |
lol MOVING ON eh
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Feb 9 2008, 01:08
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#76
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Gee, I wish we had one of them doomsday machines. Group: Moderators Posts: 2,037 Joined: 13-November 06 From: Wales Member No.: 155 |
QUOTE Dave sends: Dave says: Nothing to see here *whistle* Transfer of "TCARFWip.jpg" is complete. Jon says: ? Dave says: TCARF! Jon says: whats one of them Dave says: Not telling Dave says: Do you think that should stay red, or I should recolour it light blue... Jon says: depends what its for Dave says: It does? Jon says: yes if its for killing then red Dave says: Tell me, do you consider the SLA to be "bad guys"? Jon says: from my perspectuve as a marine then yes Dave says: You didn't play a marine You played a member of a styker brigade... Jon says: did through team switching Dave says: Not if I go back in time and destroy the letter T! Jon says: if ha is rue hen you would jus use anoher leer Like Whab? Everyone would look rabher sbupid using anobher lebber, wouldn'b bhey? Jon says: the y button Dave says: I see... Someone needs bo fix bhis forum... bhe qoube bags aren'b working... (Liberally Edited to Remove Sensitive informations...) -------------------- The Rules - Nothing too complicated, follow these and we'll have no problems.
Moderation Feedback Thread - Tell everyone how much you Site Issues Thread - Complain about site issues here. We might even fix them! Community Chatter Thread - Furthest Mud-sling gets a free subscription to "JdB Monthly". QUOTE(Major Mike Shearer) We can categorically state that we have not released man-eating badgers into the area. QUOTE(Brace Belden) A machine gun is like a woman, I don’t understand it, I’m afraid of it, and one day I’ll accidentally be killed by one. |
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Feb 13 2008, 12:35
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#77
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ArmA.info Sarcasm Society's Slightly Mad Scotsman Group: Former .info Serviceman Posts: 718 Joined: 28-September 07 From: Glasgow, UK Member No.: 1,331 |
QUOTE(Deadeye @ Feb 13 2008, 10:05)  QUOTE A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch: you may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs. The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids. The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking. "Wow,"she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads: Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework. "Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads: Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor 3,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. A new wives store opened across the street. The first floor has wives that love sex. The second floor has wives that love sex and have money. The third through sixth floors have never been visited.  , is there a joke thread?There is now! Post all of your Seriousness is not an option but stick to the rules. Remember the moderators are watching!  Images may be a maximum of 150KB in size, no refunds, by posting here you submit your soul to the ArmA.info site team. Moderators reserve the right to PR at random. Terms and conditions apply. -------------------- Never before in the history of man, was so much buggered up by so few.
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Feb 13 2008, 16:22
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#78
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 The Il2 Fan Group: Members Posts: 733 Joined: 7-November 06 From: England Member No.: 25 |
here is a quick one,
Why did the Clam leave the Club? It pulled a Muscle. --------------------   |
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Feb 13 2008, 16:33
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#79
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 huns not dead Group: Former .info Serviceman Posts: 329 Joined: 12-November 06 From: Pannonia Member No.: 72 |
another quick one.
Winners don't use drugs. They sell them! -------------------- HUNS
NOT DEAD |
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Feb 13 2008, 18:16
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#80
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ArmA.info Sarcasm Society's Slightly Mad Scotsman Group: Former .info Serviceman Posts: 718 Joined: 28-September 07 From: Glasgow, UK Member No.: 1,331 |
Glasgow one:
QUOTE A man is sitting in a bar waiting for his friend to arive, he waits for an hour and is about to leave when his friend staggers in having been clearly beaten senseless.
"Jeesus" he exclaims, "what the hell happened tae you?!" "I got intae a fight with Oniel." he replies clearly in pain "Howd'ya manage that? he'd ne'er hurt a fly, he ain't exactly strong either!" "He came at me with a shovel before i could do anything" "Aye well, how'd he do that to yah? You didnae have a weapon in yer hands yerself" "Aye, well I did but as beautiful as they are, Mrs. Oniels breasts arnae great weapons..." -------------------- Never before in the history of man, was so much buggered up by so few.
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